Early Marriage

Early marriages. Are they happy ones or not? Do these people realize the responsibility when making a proposal of marriage?

My answer is NO – early marriages can damage our lives. Only rarely do marriages in youth end up happily. The majority of them break down in a year or two. To my point of view young couples who decide to marry early don’t have enough consciousness to realize what they are doing. They have a vague understanding of the word “marriage” and only some young people can say that they are ready for a long relationship with the beloved one.

Marriage is a serious step in life and requires a lot of courage and responsibility from the person who makes such a decision. The majority of couples think that the desire and passion in love are enough reason to turn a new unknown page in their future. But very soon two lovers find out that they lack experience in a family life. The experience means that they, future husband or wife, should have or find out in the bottom of their soul peace, reverence, responsibility, endurance and desire for the compromise after long arguments with each other. I think this is something that matters if you want to build a strong and happy family and unfortunately only few of us possess these qualities at early age. Furthermore, at the age 18-23 young people have a lot of career plans and hopes for a prosperous life in the future and they are full of energy and optimism to fulfill their dreams. And early marriage can spoil everything that he or she was thinking of and dreaming about lying in a bed at night or listening inattentively to a boring lecturer at the university. At this stage of life you are somewhere in the middle of the path that you have already chosen and any reckless decision may bring you to a blind alley.

When you become a father you don’t have time for continuing your education and have to forsake studying and begin earning money to provide for the upbringing of a child. Pregnant ladies have to stop studying and pay attention to their health, as hectic life is rather dangerous for their future child. And after a long break of half a year (or even more) it is almost impossible to return to studying, and, besides, you have to take care of your lovely baby, and that demands a great amount of time. But not all young couples can afford to have children (because of lack of money, for example) and that makes them feel unhappy and depressed. Nowadays a man with a secondary education can’t apply for a well-paid job, so the young couple becomes completely dependent financially on their parents who on their part try to control their capricious children and interfere in the life of the newly-weds.

Another thing is that only in Moscow about 70% of guys of conscription age marry just to avoid the army. Nowadays it is rather easy to find a wife with two children – just try a search in Internet or publish an advertisement in newspaper, organize an appointment, and arrange the financial support of your choice and the headache is over. “It is a pro forma marriage for several years but then I can easily get divorced and my life will continue without army service. Hip-hip-hurrah! Hip-hip-hurrah! I think I’ll do this.” – Such thoughts come to an average young man planning to disguise himself from the army eye. To my mind it’s not the way out – this is just a foolish escape of a coward and nothing more.

By Temur Yamanidze

The generation of today’s young people often shocks their grandparents: smoking and drinking openly; magazines with naked girls and muscular boys, kissing in public and listening to music – all that can drive the old mad. Add to this list (that can take us many lines) early marriages, and the picture we’ve got has nothing to do with the life of the young 50 years ago. Or does it?

I do agree that smoking, drinking and so on were not as popular before as they are now; but marriages, when the girl and the boy were under 30, were a common thing. If we go further and remember some pieces of literature, we’ll learn that Romeo and Juliet had no gray hair when they decided to get married. The same with Natasha Rostova from War and Peace by Tolstoy. Of course, you may object by saying that these are only invented characters; but let’s not forget that Shakespeare and Tolstoy did not write fantasy, but were quite realistic writers and reflected the real life of their epoch. Hence, we can conclude that early marriages were normal for people in Great Britain as well as in Russia.

In that case, why do we pay so much attention to young couples today, expecting their separation one or two weeks after the wedding (that is not hopefully obligatory today)? While young, people can become close to each other much more easily than people in their 30s-40s. Youth has a big advantage, consisting in flexibility of mind; while “grown-ups” have their habits and traditions, which cannot simply be sacrificed even for those whom they are deeply in love with.

Moreover, do not forget such an important factor as health which gives the possibility to give birth to healthy children. I suppose somebody can say that having children while you are a baby yourself is a scandal, and I think I would agree with this point of view.

Nevertheless, people need to acquire some life experience, and without trying to act in this or that way it is impossible to become THE personality. Children are a good test of the love of the couple, because not every man and not every modern woman will be able to give 50% of his or her time to the family (the other 50% for work).

Babies are an extremely interesting world and, having a small human in your hands; you not only share your experience with this newly born creature, but learn lots of things about yourself. In other words, you get experience that will help you in the future.

And after many years, when the child grows up, his parents will still remain young and the gap, that often separates different generations because of the difference in their age, will not be visible. Consequently, it will result in comprehension and even maybe in friendship between children and parents, which is, in my opinion, one of the best things in the world.

By Alevtina Kozina

Task 1. Pronounce the following words correctly:

responsibility, majority, consciousness, require, courage, experience, endurance, quality, capricious, financial, muscular, epoch, advantage, flexibility, sacrifice, acquire, creature, consequently.

Task 2. Find in the texts synonyms to the following words:

To understand, offer, to demand, to have, rich, to ruin, to come back, to get away, to go on, silly, to contradict, a chance, to get.

Task 3. Find in the texts antonyms to the following words:

Often, to finish, late, bright, cowardice, minority, top, weak, poor, interesting, to neglect, obedient, outstanding, clever, rare, ill.

Task 4. Complete the sentences:

1. Young couples who decide to marry early don’t have enough…

2. Marriage is a serious step in life and requires…

3. At the age 18-23 young people have a lot of…

4. Not all young couples can afford…

5. Nowadays a man with a secondary education can’t…

6. While young, people can become close to…

7. Health gives the possibility to give birth to…

8. Children are a good test of…

Task 5. How do you understand the following words and word combinations:

responsibility, experience, compromise, pro forma marriage, flexibility of mind, sacrifice, generation gap?

Task 6. Whose point of view do you agree with? Give your reasons.

PAIR WORK

Task 1. Interview your partner and find out from him or her:

1. if she/he is an only child;

2. how many brothers and sisters she/he has got;

3. if she/he would prefer more or fewer brothers or sisters;

4. if she/he has very much contact with her/his extended family;

5. if she/he has any problems living at home with her/his family;

6. how many children she/he would like to have (if any).

Task 2. Make up dialogues for the following imaginary situations:

1. Your sister’s engagement is announced. A friend calls to congratulate her.

2. Your father tells you about his brother (sister) you’ve never seen. You want to know all the details of his (her) life.

3. You talk with your grandmother whom you have come to visit. You want to know how she met and married your grandfather.

4. Tell your friend about your little sister. She is such a nice kid…