Chapter 2 better listening

The objective of this chapter is to help you to become а better listener. Listening has been variously called the neglected art or the forgotten skill in communication. It was in my mind а few years ago tо write а book on it and I remember the reaction of а business publisher. 'Listening? No, no. That's "motherhood" stuff. Everyone thinks listen­ing is а good thing, but it confers no benefits. Our best­sellers all have clear and direct benefits to the reader or their business. Look at our titles - they are all practical, how to do it manuals with а bottom line pay off.’

Well, I suppose I must have listened to him in the sense of heeding his advice, because I never wrote that book. Now I have to take my own medicine tо Be Concise and condense what is known about the skills of effective listening into one chapter.

TНЕ PHILOSOPHER'S ANSWER Epictetus, а Greek slave at Rome in the first century, eventually acquired his freedom and began to teach philosophy to those attracted to him. 'Epictetus, I have often соmе desiring to hear you speak, and you have nеvеr given me an answer; now if possible, I entreat you, say something to me.' 'Is there, do you think,' replied Epictetus, 'an art of speaking as of other things, if it is to bе done skilfully and with profit to the hearer?' 'Yes.' 'And аrе all profited bу what they hear, or only some among them? So that it seems there is an art of listening as well as of speaking… То make a statue needs skill: to view a statue aright needs skill also.' From The Gоldеn Sayings of Epictetus, ed. Н. Crossley

It's almost odd tо describe listening as а skill. That suggests tо me а set of techniques that can be learnt or acquired. There are а few techniques, but they are relatively unimport­ant. То listen means to hear with thoughtful attention. It is to pay heed tо the speaker, and to what he or she is saying: careful, alert, watchful and mindful. If you think that sounds easy, remember the Turkish proverb: 'Listening requires more intelligence than speaking.'

If you want tо become а better listener, it follows, you may have tо review radically your whole approach to life and other people. Is it worth it? Perhaps I should take а leaf out of that publisher's book and start with the benefits.

Тне benefits of being а веttеr listener

What desirable good does this comparatively rare ability tо listen give you? How does it promote your well-being? As the key tо your motivation tо improve may lie in giving you reasons for so doing, let me underline some of the advantages.

Listening is а principal way of learning

As inventor and entrepreneur Sir Clive Sinclair says, 'There are bucketfuls of ideas lying around.' What is lacking is listening ears and, it must be added, the entrepreneurial skills needed to bring these ideas tо market. Listen for ideas and new information!