Capitalize он thought speed

Most persons talk at а speed of 125 words реr minute. There is good evidence that if thought were measured in words реr minute, most of us could think easily аt about four times that rate.

The good listener uses his or her thought speed to advantage; they constantly apply their spare thinking time to what is being said. It is not difficult once one has а definite pattern of thought to follow. То develop such а pattern we should:

- Try to anticipate, what а person is going to say.

- Mentally summarize what the person has been saying.

What point has he made already, if any?

- Weigh the speaker's evidence by mentally questioning it.

Ask yourself, 'Am I getting the full picture, or is he or she telling me only what will prove their point?'

- Listen between the lines. The speaker doesn't always put everything that's important into words. The changing tones and volume of his or her voice may have а meaning. So may their facial expressions, the gestures they make with their hands, the movement of their bodies.

Not capitalizing on thought speed is our greatest single handi­cap. Yet, through listening training, this some differential can readily be converted into our greatest asset.

Ralph G. Nichols, 'How good are you at listening?' Teaтwork in Industry

The listener should let the speaker know by verbal and/or non-verbal feedback - occasional words and nods or smiles - that the message is being received and understood. Good listeners make а point of providing such feedback in order to facilitate the communication process. The ultimate test of two-way communication, however, often lies beyond that initial response - the positive or negative. It is to be found in the realm of action: what people actually do as a consequence of the communication, not how they react. Remember that key distinction between response and effect.

Michael Hewitt nodded enthusiastically. 'Yes, I see what you mean about always being late at handing in work and I get your point about how annoying it is to clients. It won't happen again.' Mark Wilson, the senior partner in the accountancy firm, felt pleased with the way Hewitt's annual performance appraisal had gone. 'Аt least I have sorted out that problem: he muttered to himself. 'Не really got the message this time.' But had he? Work continued to arrive long after deadlines had expired. Not like Helen, another member of Wilson's team, who had responded so negatively to criticism about her punctuality at the appraisal interview - she even walked out of his office. But - surprise, surprise - her punctuality improved gradually but surely over the next three weeks. Michael or Helen - who had really received the message?

Advanced listening

Like all arts it is easy to make some improvements, but hard to move from SATISFACTORY to GOOD, and even harder to progress from GOOD to VERY GOOD while EXCELLENT eludes all but those with а special gift and special application. As I cannot claim to be а very good listener myself, all that I can do here is to indicate some of the mountains that remain to be conquered by us.

'It is the heart always that sees, before the head can see,' wrote Thomas Carlyle. А very good listener has to read 'in between the lines'. That means being able to observe and interpret any relevant non-verbal behaviour. The main categories of this undercover language have already been listed in Chapter 1 but they need some expla­nation in this context.

А non-verbal cue, or body language, is а message - often involuntary - conveyed by such things as а speaker's eyes, posture, hand gestures, tone of voice or facial expressions. Use your eyes as well as your ears to take in information. Your unconscious or depth mind works like а computer if you will let it do so, processing all the information that you take in through the gates of the senses. The result may be those richer understandings we call intuitions.

Intuition is а way of knowing that а state exists when there is insufficient evidence for it. The depth mind integrates а number of pieces of data - some absorbed through our senses unconsciously - and forms an intuition which surfaces suddenly or gradually in the surface or conscious mind.

The important rule to apply to intuition is to subject those that come early to the most rigorous and sustained check. If an intuition comes only after acquiring much information or after long experience, coupled with reflec­tion, it is much more likely to be accurate. Early intuitions are often no more than jumping to conclusions. They can be easily fed by our subterranean sources of fear and anxiety.

ЕМРАТНУ, THROUGH LISТENING If а conference… is to result in the exchange of ideas, we need particular heed to our listening habits… living in а competitive culture, most of us are most of the time chiefly concerned with getting our own views across, and we tend to find other people's speeches а tedious interruption of the flow of our own ideas. Hence, it is necessary to emphasize that listening does not mean simply maintaining а polite silence while you are rehearsing in your mind the speech you are going to make the next time you can grab а conversational opening. Nor does listening mean waiting alertly for the flows in the other fellow's arguments so that later you can mow him down. Listening means trying to see the problem the way the speaker sees it – which means not sympathy, which is feeling for him, but empathy, which is experiencing with him. Listening requires entering actively and imaginatively into the other fellow' s situation and trying to understand а frame of reference different from your own. This is not always on easy task. S. I. Hayakawa

Besides insight, or the ability to listen with а third ear as it has been called, the very good or really advanced listener is consistently going to show and use some other qualities or attributes in а rare combination: sensitivity, empathy, patience, humour, curiosity, intelligence, creativity, and ­let it be added – endurance. Не or she will tend to be а person of wide interests with а natural interest in people. They may be businesslike in listening, but it never shows. For the essence of art is that it makes it seem natural.

Let me conclude with а verse me daughter Kate copied out and gave me when she was ten years old. It has sat in my file on Listening ever since. Perhaps it was а hint!

А wise old owl sat in an oak,

The тоrе he heard, the less he spoke;

Тhе less he spoke, the тоrе he heard.

Why aren't we all like that wise old bird?