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John Kendrick Bangs
Thetroublewith HarrowbyHall was thatit was ,what
was worse, the ghost did not content itself with merely appearing
atthebedsideoftheafictedpersonwhosawit,butpersistedinre
mainingthereforonemortalhourbeforeitwoulddisappear.
ItneverappearedexceptonChristmaseve,andthenastheclock
wasstrikingtwelve,inwhichrespectalonewasitlackinginthatorigi
nalitywhichinthesedaysisasinequanonofsuccessinspectrallife.
TheownersofHarrowbyHallhaddonetheirutmosttoridthemselves
oftheandladywhoroseupoutofthebestbedroomoor
atmidnight,butwithoutavail.Theyhadtriedstoppingtheclock,so
thattheghost would notknowwhen itwasmidnight;but shemade
herappearancejustthesame,withthatfearfulmiasmaticpersonality
ofhers,andthereshewouldstanduntileverythingaboutherwastho
roughly.
ThentheownersofHarrowbyHallcalkedupeverycrackintheoor
withtheverybestqualityofhemp,andoverthiswereplacedlayersoftar
andcanvas;thewallsweremadewaterproof,andthedoorsandwindows
likewise,theproprietorshavingconceivedthenotionthattheunexorcised
ladywouldnditdifculttoleakintotheroomafterthese
;buteventhisdidnotsufce.ThefollowingChristmas
eve she appeared as promptly as before, and frightened the occupant
oftheroomquiteoutofhissensesbysittingdownalongsideofhimand
gazing withher cavernous blue eyes into his; andhe noticed, too, that
inher long, aqueouslybony ngers bitsof dripping were en
twined,theendshangingdown,andtheseendsshedrewacrosshisfore
headuntilhebecamelikeoneinsane.Andthenhe,and
wasfoundinhisbedthenextmorningbyhishost,simply
saturatedwithseawaterandfright,fromthecombinedeffectsofwhichhe
neverrecovered,dyingfouryearslaterofpneumoniaandnervousprostra
tionattheageofseventyeight.
221
The next year the master of Harrowby Hall decided not to have
thebest sparebedroom opened atall, thinkingthat perhapsthe ghost’s
thirst for making herself disagreeable would be satised by haunting
thefurniture, but the plan wasas unavailingas the manythat hadpre
cededit.
Theghost appearedas usualin theroom —that is, it was sup
posedshedid,forthehangingsweredrippingwetthenextmorning,
andintheparlorbelowthehauntedroomagreatdampspotappeared
ontheceiling.Findingnoonethere,sheimmediatelysetouttolearn
the reason why, and she chose none other to haunt than the owner
oftheHarrowbyhimself.Shefoundhiminhisowncozyroomdrin
kingwhiskey—whiskeyundiluted—andfelicitatinghimselfupon
havingfoiled herghostship, when allof asudden thecurl wentout
ofhishair,hiswhiskeybottlelledandoverowed,andhewashim
selfinaconditionsimilartothatofamanwhohasfallenintoawater
butt.Whenherecoveredfromtheshock,whichwasapainfulone,he
sawbeforehimtheladyofthecavernouseyes and seaweedngers.
Thesightwassounexpectedandsoterrifyingthathefainted,butim
mediatelycame to,because ofthe vast amount of water in hishair,
which,tricklingdownoverhisface,restoredhisconsciousness.
Nowitsohappened thatthemasterofHarrowbywasabraveman,
andwhilehewasnotparticularlyfondofinterviewingghosts,especially
such quenching ghosts as the one before him, he was not to be daun
tedbyanapparition.Hehadoffainting
fromtheeffectsofhisrstsurprise,andnowthathehadcometohein
tendedtondoutafewthingshefelthehadarighttoknow.Hewould
havelikedtoputonadrysuitofclothesrst,buttheapparitiondeclined
toleavehimforaninstantuntilherhourwasup,andhewasforcedtodeny
himselfthatpleasure.Everytimehewouldmoveshewouldfollowhim,
withthe resultthat everythingshe came in contact withgot aducking.
Inan effortto warmhimself up heapproached there, an unfortunate
moveasitturnedout,becauseitbroughttheghostdirectlyoverthere,
whichimmediatelywas .Thewhiskeybecame utterlyva
luelessasacomfortertohischilledsystem,becauseitwasbythistime
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diluted to a proportion of ninety percent of water.The only thing he
coulddotowardofftheevileffectsofhisencounterhedid,andthatwas
toswallowtentwograin,whichhemanagedtoputintohis
mouthbeforetheghosthadtimetointerfere.Havingdonethis,heturned
withsomeasperitytotheghost,andsaid:
“Far be it from me to be impolite to a woman, madam,
butI’mhangedifitwouldn’tpleasemebetterifyou’dstoptheseinfer
nalvisitsofyourstothishouse.Gositoutonthelake,ifyoulikethat
sortofthing;soakthe waterbutt,if you wish;butdonot,I implore
you,comeintoagentleman’shouseandsaturatehimandhisposses
sionsinthisway.Itisdamneddisagreeable.”
“HenryHartwickOglethorpe,”saidtheghost,inavoice,
“youdon’tknowwhatyouaretalkingabout.”
“Madam,”returnedtheunhappyhouseholder,“Iwishthatremark
werestrictlytruthful.Iwastalkingaboutyou.Itwouldbeshillingsand
pence—nay,pounds,inmypocket,madam,ifIdidnotknowyou.”
“That is a bit of specious nonsense,” returned the ghost, throwing
aquartof indignation intotheface of themasterof Harrowby.“It may
rankhighasrepartee,butasacommentuponmystatementthatyoudo
notknowwhatyouaretalkingabout,itsavorsofirrelevantimpertinence.
YoudonotknowthatIamtohauntthisplaceyearafter
yearbyinexorablefate.Itisnopleasuretometoenterthishouse,and
ruinandmildeweverythingItouch. I neveraspiredtobeashower
bath,butitismydoom.DoyouknowwhoIam?”
“No,Idon’t,”returnedthemasterofHarrowby.“Ishouldsayyou
weretheLadyoftheLake,orLittleSallieWaters.”
“Youareawittymanforyouryears,”saidtheghost.
“Well, my humor is drier than yours ever will be,” returned
themaster.
“Nodoubt.I’mneverdry.IamtheWaterGhostofHarrowbyHall,and
drynessisaqualityentirelybeyondmywildesthope.Ihavebeenthein
cumbentofthishighlyunpleasantofcefortwohundredyearstonight.”
“How the deuce did you ever come to get elected?” asked
themaster.
223
“Throughasuicide,”repliedthespecter.“Iamtheghostof that
fairmaiden whose picturehangs overthe inthe draw
ingroom.Ishouldhavebeenyourgreatgreatgreatgreatgreataunt
ifIhadlived,HenryHartwickOglethorpe,forIwastheownsisterof
yourgreatgreatgreatgreatgrandfather.”
“Butwhatinducedyoutogetthishouseintosucha?”
“Iwasnot toblame, sir,”returned the lady.“It wasmyfather’s
fault.Heitwas who builtHarrowbyHall,and thehauntedchamber
wastohavebeenmine.Myfatherhaditfurnishedinpinkandyellow,
knowingwellthatblueandgrayformedtheonlycombinationofcolor
Icouldtolerate.He,and,withwhatIdeem
aproperspirit, Ideclinedto liveinthe room; whereuponmy father
saidIcouldlivethereoronthelawn,hedidn’tcarewhich.Thatnight
Iranfromthehouseandjumpedoverthecliffintothesea.”
“Thatwasrash,”saidthemasterofHarrowby.
“SoI’veheard,”returnedtheghost.“IfIhadknownwhatthecon
sequencesweretobeIshouldnothavejumped;butIreallyneverreal
izedwhatIwasdoinguntilafterIwasdrowned.Ihadbeendrowned
aweek when asea nymphcame to meand informedme that Iwas
tobe one of herfollowers forever afterwards,adding that it should
bemy doomto hauntHarrowby Hallfor onehour every Christmas
evethroughouttherestof.Iwastohauntthatroomonsuch
Christmaseves asI foundit inhabited; and if itshould turnout not
tobeinhabited,Iwasandamtospendtheallottedhourwiththehead
ofthehouse.”
“I’llselltheplace.”
“Thatyoucannotdo,foritisalsorequiredofmethatIshallap
pearas the deeds areto be delivered to any purchaser,and divulge
tohimtheawfulsecretofthehouse.”
“Do you mean to tell me that on every Christmas eve that
I don’t happen to have somebody in that guest chamber, you are
goingtohauntmewhereverImaybe,ruiningmywhiskey,takingall
thecurloutofmyhair,extinguishingmyre,andsoakingmethrough
totheskin?”demandedthemaster.
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“Youhavestatedthe case, Oglethorpe.And what ismore,”said
thewaterghost, “itdoesn’tmakethe slightestdifferencewhereyou
are,ifIndthatroomempty,whereveryoumaybeIshalldouseyou
withmyspectralpres”
Heretheclockstruckone,andimmediatelytheapparition
.Itwasperhapsmoreofatricklethanafade,butasadisappear
anceitwascomplete.
“BySt.GeorgeandhisDragon!”ejaculatedthemasterofHar
rowby,wringinghishands.“Itisguineas tohotcrossbunsthatnext
Christmasthere’sanoccupantofthespareroom,orIspendthenight
inabathtub.”
ButthemasterofHarrowbywouldhavelosthiswagerhadthere
beenanyonetheretotakehimup,forwhenChristmasevecameagain
hewasinhisgrave,neverhavingrecoveredfromthecoldcontracted
thatawful night.Harrowby Hall was closed, andthe heirto the
was in London, where to him in his chambers came the same
experience thathis father hadgone through,saving only that,being
youngerandstronger,hesurvivedtheshock.Everythinginhisrooms
wasruined— his clockswererusted intheworks; a necollection
of watercolor drawings was entirely by the onslaught
of the water ghost; and what was worse, the apartments below his
weredrenched withthe watersoaking throughthe oors,a damage
forwhichhewascompelled topay,and which resultedinhisbeing
requestedbyhislandladytovacatethepremisesimmediately.
The story of the visitation inicted upon his family had gone
abroad,andnoonecouldbegottoinvitehimouttoanyfunctionsave
afternoonteas and receptions.Fathers of daughtersdeclined to per
mit him to remain in their houses later than eight o clock at night,
notknowingbutthatsomeemergencymightariseinthesupernatural
worldwhich would require the unexpectedappearance of the water
ghostinthisonnightsotherthanChristmaseve,andbeforethemystic
hourwhenwearychurchyards,ignoringtheruleswhicharesupposed
togovernpolitesociety,begin to yawn.Norwouldthemaidsthem
selveshaveaughttodowithhim,fearingthedestructionbythesudden
225
incursionofaqueousfemininityofthecostumeswhichtheyheldmost
dear.
SotheheirofHarrowbyHallresolved,ashisancestorsforseveral
generations before him had resolved, thatsomething must be done.
Hisrstthoughtwastomakeoneofhisservantsoccupythehaunted
room at the crucial moment; but in this he tailed, because the ser
vantsthemselves knew thehistory of that room and rebelled. None
ofhisfriendswouldconsenttosacricetheirpersonalcomforttohis,
norwastheretobefoundinallEnglandamansopoorastobewilling
tooccupythedoomedchamberonChristmasEveforpay.
Thenthethoughtcametotheheirtohavethereplaceintheroom
enlarged,sothathemighttheghostatitsrstappearance,
andhewasfelicitatinghimselfupontheingenuityofhisplan,when
herememberedwhathisfatherhadtoldhim—howthatnorecould
withstandthelady’sextremelycontagiousdampness.Andthenhebet
houghthimofsteampipes.These,heremembered,couldliehundreds
offeetdeepinwater,andstillretainsufcientheattodrivethewater
awayinvapor;andas aresultofthisthoughtthehauntedroomwas
heatedbysteamtoawitheringdegree,andtheheirforsixmonthsat
tendeddailytheTurkishbaths,sothatwhenChristmasevecamehe
couldhimselftheawfultemperatureoftheroom.
Theschemewasonlypartiallysuccessful.Thewaterghostappeared
atthespeciedtime,and found theheirofHarrowbyprepared;but hot
as the room was, it shortened her visit by no more than ve minutes
in the hour,during which time the nervous system of the young mas
terwaswellnighshattered, andtheroomitselfwascrackedandwarped
toanextentwhichrequiredtheoutlayofalargesumofmoneytoremedy.
Andworsethanthis,asthelastdropofthewaterghostwasslowlysiz
zlingitselfoutontheoor,shewhisperedtoherwouldbeconquerorthat
hisschemewouldavailhimnothing,becausetherewasstillwateringreat
plentywhereshecamefrom,andthatnextyearwouldndherrehabili
tatedandasexasperatinglysaturatingasever.
Itwasthenthatthenaturalactionofthemind,
,suggested to the ingenious heir of Harrowby
226
themeansbywhichthewaterghostwasultimatelyconquered,andhap
pinessoncemorecamewithinthegraspofthehouseofOglethorpe.
Theheir provided himselfwith awarmsuit offur underclothing.
Donningthiswiththefurrysidein,heplacedoveritarubbergarment,
tighttting,whichheworejustasawomanwearsajersey.Ontopofthis
heplacedanothersetofunderclothing,thissuitmadeofwool,andover
thiswasasecondrubbergarmentliketherst.Uponhisheadheplaced
a light and comfortable diving helmet, and so clad, on the following
ChristmasEveheawaitedthecomingofhis.
It was a bitterly cold night that brought to a close this twenty
fourthdayofDecember.Theairoutsidewasstill,butthetemperature
wasbelowzero.Withinallwasquiet,theservantsofHarrowbyHall
awaitingwithbeatingheartstheoutcomeoftheirmaster’scampaign
againsthissupernaturalvisitor.
The master himself was lying on the bed in the haunted room,
cladashasalreadybeenindicated,andthen—theclockclangedout
thehouroftwelve.
Therewas asudden banging of doors, a blast ofcold airswept
throughthehalls,thedoorleadingintothehauntedchamberewopen,
asplashwasheard,andthewaterghostwasseenstandingattheside
oftheheirofHarrowby,fromwhoseouterdresstherestreamedrivu
letsofwater,butwhoseownpersondeepdownunderthevariousgar
mentsheworewasasdryandaswarmashecouldhavewished.
“Ha!”saidtheyoungmasterofHarrowby.“I’mgladtoseeyou.”
“YouarethemostoriginalmanI’vemet,ifthatistrue,”returned
theghost.“MayIaskwheredidyougetthathat?”
“Certainly,madam,”returnedthemaster,courteously.“Itisalittle
portable observatory I had made for just such emergencies as this.
But,tellme,isittruethatyouaredoomedtofollowmeaboutforone
mortalhour—tostandwhereIstand,tositwhereIsit?”
“Thatismydelectablefate,”returnedthelady.
“We’llgooutonthelake,”saidthemaster,startingup.
“Youcan’tgetridofmethatway,”returnedtheghost.“Thewater
won’tswallowmeup;infact,itwilljustaddtomypresentbulk.”
227
“Nevertheless,”saidthemaster,rmly,“wewillgooutonthelake.”
“But,mydearsir,”returnedtheghost,withapalereluctance,“it
isfearfullycoldoutthere.
Youwillbefrozenhardbeforeyou’vebeenouttenminutes.”
“Ohno,I’llnot,”repliedthemaster.“Iamverywarmlydressed.
Come!”Thislastinatoneofcommandthatmadetheghostripple.
Andtheystarted.
They had not gone far before the water ghost showed signs
ofdistress.
“Youwalktooslowly,”shesaid.“Iamnearlyfrozen.Mykneesare
sostiffnowIcanhardlymove.Iyou.”
“Ishouldliketoobligealady,”returnedthemaster,courteously,
“butmyclothesareratherheavy,andahundredyardsanhourisabout
myspeed.Indeed,Ithinkwewouldbettersitdownhereonthissnow
driftandtalkmattersover.”
“Donot! Donot doso, Ibeg!” cried the ghost. “Let me moveon.
Ifeelmyselfgrowingrigidasitis.Ifwestophere,Ishallbefrozenstiff.”
“That madam,” said the master slowly, and seating himself
onanicecake—“thatiswhyIhavebroughtyouhere.Wehavebeen
onthisspotjusttenminutes;wehaveftymore.Takeyourtimeabout
it,madam,butfreeze,thatisallIaskofyou.”
“Icannotmovemyrightlegnow,”criedtheghost,indespair,“and
myoverskirtisa solidsheetofice. Oh,good,kindMr.Oglethorpe,
lightare,andletmegofreefromtheseicyfetters.”
“Never,madam.Itcannotbe.Ihaveyouatlast.”
“Alas!”cried theghost, a teartrickling downher frozen cheek.
“Helpme,Ibeg.Icongeal!”
“Congeal, madam, congeal!” returned Oglethorpe, coldly.“You
havedrenchedmeandminefortwohundredandthreeyears,madam.
Tonightyouhavehadyourlastdrench.”
“Ah, but I shall thaw out again, and then you’ll see. Instead
of the comfortably tepid, genial ghost I have been in my past, sir,
Ishallbeicedwater,”criedthelady,threateningly.
“No,youwon’t,either,”returnedOglethorpe;“forwhenyouare
frozenquite stiff, Ishallsend youto a coldstoragewarehouse, and
228
thereshallyouremainanicywork of artforevermore.”“Butware
housesburn.”
“Sotheydo,butthiswarehousecannotburn.Itismadeofasbestos
andsurroundingitarereproofwalls,andwithinthosewallsthetem
peratureisnowandshallforeverbe416degreesbelowthezeropoint;
lowenoughtomakeanicicleofanyameinthisworld—orthenext,”
themasteradded,withanillsuppressedchuckle.
“Forthe last timelet mebeseechyou. Iwould go onmy knees
toyou,Oglethorpe,weretheynotalreadyfrozen.Ibegofyoudonot
do—“
Hereeventhewordsfrozeonthewaterghost’slipsandtheclock
struckone.Therewasamomentarytremorthroughouttheicebound
form, and the moon, coming out from behind a cloud, shonedown
ontherigidgureofabeautifulwomansculpturedinclear,transpa
rentice.
TherestoodtheghostofHarrowbyHall,conqueredbythecold,
aprisonerforalltime.
TheheirofHarrowbyhadwonatlast,andtodayinalargestorage
houseinLondonstandsthefrigidformofonewhowillneveragain
oodthehouseofOglethorpewithwoeandseawater.
Asforthe heir ofHarrowby,his successincoping with aghost
hasmade him famous, a famethat still lingers about him,although
hisvictorytookplacesometwentyyearsago;andsofarfrombeing
unpopularwiththefairsex,ashewaswhenwerstknewhim,hehas
notonly been marriedtwice, butis tolead a thirdbride tothe altar
beforetheyearisout.
T a s k s a n d e x e r c i s e s
1.Whatdoyouknowaboutghosts?2.Doyoubelievetheyreally
exist?3.Whatdoyouthinkthestoryisgoingtobeabout?
229
JohnKendrickBangswasborninYonkers,NewYork.Hisfatherwas
alawyerinNewYorkCity.HewenttoColumbiaUniversityfrom1880
to1883wherehebecameeditorofColumbia’sliterarymagazineandcon
tributedshort anonymouspieces tohumor magazines.After graduation
in1883,BangsenteredColumbiaLawSchoolbutleftin1884tobecome
AssociateEditorofLifeunderEdwardS.Martin.Bangscontributedmany
articlesandpoemstothemagazinebetween1884and1888.Duringthis
period,Bangspublishedhisrstbooks.In1888BangsleftLifetowork
at Harper’s Magazine, Harper’s Bazaar and Harper’s Young People.
From1889to1900heheldthetitleofEditoroftheDepartmentsofHu
morforallthreeHarper’smagazinesandfrom1899to1901servedasac
tiveeditorofHarper’s Weekly.Bangsalsoservedforashorttime(Janua
ry–June,1889)asthersteditorofMunsey’s Magazineandbecameedi
toroftheAmericaneditionoftheHarperownedLiteraturefromJanuary
toNovember,1899.HeleftHarper&Brothersin1901andbecameeditor
oftheNew Metropolitan magazinein1903.In1904hewasappointededi
torofPuck,perhapstheforemostAmericanhumormagazineofitsday.
Inthisperiod,herevivedhisearlierinterestindrama.In1906heswitched
hisfocustothelecturecircuit.
Agnes Hyde Bangs, his wife with whom he had three sons,
died in 1903. Bangs then married Mary Gray.In 1907 they moved
fromYonkersto Ogunquit, Maine. JohnKendrick Bangs died from
stomachcancerin1922atageftynine,inAtlanticCity,NewJersey.
1. What happened in Harrowby Hall on every Christmas Eve?
2.Howdidthe ownerofHarrowbyHall trytogetrid oftheghost?
3.WhatdidtheghostdowhenitappearedinHarrowbyHall?4.How
longdiditstayinthehouse?5.Whatwastherstreactionofthemas
230
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