Relationships:

First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

Hats:

Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

Comedy:

Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge. The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.

Handwriting:

To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms:

A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Magazines:

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazine also features pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

Going out:

When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...

Cats:

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Mirrors:

Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface--mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola's head.

Movies:

For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind". For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy".

Jewelry:

Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

The Telephone:

Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Weddings:

When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".

Dressing up:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Socks:

Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks. Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

Toys:

Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate.

E xercise 12

Choose the right variant. Here can be only one right variant.

Write all your answers in your workbook.

Начало формы

1. Don't worry about a thing. You'll feel better ___ no time. You look better already and the flu doesn't usually last more than a couple of days.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

2. He is so smart and graduated with honors so he's really ___ demand right now. I'm sure he's going to choose the right job and be happy with it for a long time.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

3. We don't have any of those designer jeans left. We're ___ of stock right now but I ordered more and they should be here by next week.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

4. What are you ___ such a hurry for? You need to slow down because people make a lot of mistakes when they rush.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

5. Why are you ___ of breath? You look like you just ran a marathon? What's going on?

a) on b) in c) under d) out

6. I always feel that my goals are just ___ of reach. I'm still unable to acquire all of things I want and that I work so hard to achieve.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

7. Simon is ___ a lot of stress at the moment. His wife left and he just lost his job.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

8. ___ behalf of the entire office, we wish you all the best in your new endeavors. We all really enjoyed working with you.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

9. I originally thought it was a bad idea. However, ___ second thought, you may have a point, so let's discuss your plan more over dinner.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

10. I don't believe you. Lying is completely ___ of character for him. I have known him for ten years and I have never heard him tell a lie.

a) on b) in c) under d) out

E xercise 13

Here is the list with 10 differences between Russia and the USA. Read attentively this list. Discuss it and offer you own list of differences but this time including also the UK. Make a table with these differences. There must be at least 5 differences between 3 countries.

Write your list of differences in your workbook.