If she was going to share her secret with anyone, it would be someone she trusted implicitly. Someone she truly felt at peace with. That would be Cheryl.

She put the car in park, left it running at the exit of the empty parking lot. Then Guin rummaged around, suddenly desperate to find anything Cheryl had touched, work-related or not. Just something that—if only for a moment—would let Guin feel the undeniable sensation of affection she felt whenever she was with her partner.

She checked her bag, swiped her hand through the console compartment, between the seats and along the floor. Not even a damned dime had slipped out of Cheryl’s pocket. Guin had had their winter patrol jackets in the trunk for cleaning, but had dropped them off hours ago when she’d taken Beth’s fancy suits to the dry cleaner, on a separate ticket of course.

Guin was accustomed to having women “accidentally” leave things behind—lipstick in the car, socks in her dryer, hairdryer in her bathroom—subtle reminders they’d been there. Or perhaps it was territory claiming, an attempt at relaying to anyone who might come after them that Guin had belonged to someone.

But Guin had never belonged to anyone, really. The only one with whom she would consider such an arrangement was firmly ensconced in a different arrangement.

Cheryl didn’t leave behind a drop of evidence that she’d ever been there. Was it the detail-oriented cop in her, or the mother? Guin contemplated this as she snatched up her phone and stared at it. With some reluctance, she punched a single number. Yeah, Cheryl had managed to rate speed dial.

“Hello?” Cheryl sounded breathless when she picked up. Her tone brightened significantly when she heard her lover’s voice. “Hey, you. How are you?”

“I’m good.” Guin practically smiled out loud. Sweet relief.

She could easily imagine Cheryl with her dark hair pulled loosely away from her face, a few straying bangs beautifully framing her eyes…wearing her sweat capris—or “mom pants” as Guin would joking call them. In her lopsided shirt and bare feet, she was beautiful.

She could hear Cheryl’s scooting across hardwood floors as she raced through the house on a mission of toy collection that her sons, Frankie and Michael, had scattered everywhere. Guin knew the routine and smiled when she thought about the boys. Then there was Frank, who would be home soon for an hour-long dinner, and then back he’d go to the office for the evening. Frank being Cheryl’s husband, things were…complicated.

“It’s nice to hear your voice.”

“Yours too. Look, I was wondering if you had a little time to yourself later. Thought you might drop the kids by your mom’s.”

“Sweetie, I wish I did.” There was no mistaking the genuine regret in Cheryl’s voice. In fact, there was no mistaking anything about the woman at all. It was refreshing—something Guin had never experienced before. Jesus, surely she wasn’t in love… “Frank’s taking off early tonight. He’ll be home in a few minutes for dinner, which I haven’t even considered yet.”

She heard Cheryl rifling through cabinets.

“How about Tuna Helper.”

“Funny girl,” Cheryl remarked. “What’s wrong, sweetie? I thought you had a night planned with Beth?”

“She went back to New York early. Again.” This happened a lot.

“I see.” The noises stopped. Cheryl sighed and gave Guin her full attention. “I’m sorry, hon. And you know how much I hate saying no to you.”

Guin did know. She heard the sound of a door opening in the background.

“Hon, I’ve got to go. Frank just got home.” Her voice dropped to a near whisper. “I’ll see what his schedule is for the rest of the week. No need for you to sit home all by your lonesome.”

Guin smiled half-heartedly. “Well, you do know how lonely I get.”

“Do I ever. I’ve got to go.”

It would have been an extreme letdown had Guin not recognized the same heartache in Cheryl’s voice. Sometimes you just know when it’s right with someone. And sometimes that someone has a husband and two kids in grade school. She rubbed her forehead, sighed deeply. It would be an especially lonely night.

Guin drifted off momentarily. Maybe she’d tell Cheryl. And what would she tell her, exactly? That she was a psychic? A visionary? Jesus, if only she could get a grip on this damned power of hers to do something useful—like read minds in real-time. Then she’d know if Cheryl would ever actually consider leaving Frank for her…

Guin shook her head as if she could physically make the thought go away. She didn’t need to torture herself for no reason, especially when girls like Beth were waiting on the sidelines to take a swipe. She knew Cheryl would never do that to her.

“Oh boy,” she lamented to no one.

Guin looked for her phone, which had fallen onto the floor mat. God knows how long she’d been sitting at that parking lot stop sign. She didn’t even need touch to induce visions of Cheryl anymore. They were etched in her mind, and on her heart.

Her hands felt shaky and a lump had formed in her throat. She pulled out of the parking lot, but instead of heading for the freeway, pulled straight into a different lot. Guin got out, clicked her car locks and headed for a dingy tavern she knew well that did not know her back. She came here alone, never brought so much as a friend. It was her secret—possibly the single place with no personal residual memories. And thankfully, it appeared to be as empty as the gym had been.

She quickly took a stool, ordered a drink and stared at her trembling hands while she waited. She slowly turned them over and pressed her palms flat against the dilapidated bar with hearts and initials carved into it. She waited to feel something. In a moment she’d have a stomach full of warm tequila and a head full of heartaches and regrets that were not her own. It was a sick way to achieve any measure of comfort at all.