- •Unforgettable
- •It's true — oh, how Rett wanted to say it. It took
- •If she'd been out last night. The cheese and cracker remains on the table were Trish's favorite up-till-dawn snack.
- •In that instant, Rett was sixteen again, hearing the crack of some boyfriend's hand across her mother's face. I will not be a victim. I am not my mother.
- •Inhale . . . Expanding ribs and stomach, feeling the muscles around her diaphragm pulling for even more
- •It was unreasonable that her heart beat faster. She
- •Ing next to her control panel. "Do the numbers cue by themselves or should I do it?"
- •It sounded too much like predestination to Rett. "But can't a building be more than its blueprint? Isn't that what art is all about?"
- •Violinists. She and Zip finished their beers and danced again.
- •I'll go, she promised herself sleepily. Not because Cinny asked, and only if her schedule was clear. Then she'd go, maybe . . .
- •It hadn't occurred to Rett to wonder how Cinny had found her to begin with. She'd moved around a lot in the early years. "Technology has its definite upside."
- •It seemed impossible, then, that the Top Hat Club
- •It should not have felt as good as it did. Rett prayed that Angel was unaware of it.
- •It wasn't quite the way Rett remembered it. "I never thought of myself as popular. I didn't care."
- •In stone about being with women who were in other relationships was melting away.
- •It was the kind of day when the expanse of lake was the perfect orchestra pit and Canada only the first balcony. When she finished she'd turned, flushed with success, to face Bruce and her mother.
- •Ignoring her daughter's obvious discomfort, Mrs. Martinetta asked, "Do you like Italian food?"
- •It was going to be a long time until Thursday night.
- •I can't hold her back from being with her family,
- •Is this happiness, Rett wondered? The euphoria was more powerful than the post-performance rush. The words were addictive — she wanted to say them over and over. "I love you."
- •If she hadn't wanted to talk about it, she wouldn't have brought it up. "Don't ask, don't tell is a real bitch, isn't it?"
- •It might have worked if Cinny hadn't leaned over Kate and said slowly and clearly, "Do you really want to know what makes me happy, Kate? Really?"
- •Voice broke all by itself. "I think we're going to need Natalie for security."
- •It was so eloquently said that Rett wanted to kiss him. She contented herself with a hug.
- •It was near midnight when they clambered up the hill behind the school and sat in the cool night air.
- •Ing altitude. Please sit down and fasten your seatbelt." The attendant's voice took on a menacing quality.
- •It wasn't a dream.
I can't hold her back from being with her family,
Rett thought. If we have any chance at all it can't have a price tag that high. What were they going to do? Two years was a long time, her body said. Her heart said it was nothing. Her mind was in turmoil.
They were in Angel's rental car heading toward Rett's motel when Angel broke the heavy silence. "I'm sorry."
"I understand." She did understand. It didn't make her hurt any less, but she understood.
"I was going to tell you when I picked you up, but when I saw you all I wanted was to go back to L.A. with you and be together. I want to spend every night with you."
"You have to take it. You need to be here."
"He looks so healthy, but I saw the test results myself. We're strong — I didn't sugar-coat it when I told Papa and Mama first, then everyone else, that his doctor was right. A year, maybe two. He's had symptoms of ALS for two years now and didn't tell anyone that his doctor had diagnosed it."
"ALS?"
"Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Lou Gehrig's Disease. It's incurable."
"I'm so sorry, Angel." Her worries about how they would maintain a relationship over a long distance seemed petty.
Angel swallowed convulsively, then cleared her throat. "Not to go to perhaps an even less cheery subject for you, you were going to tell me about seeing your mother."
Rett felt pummeled. "There's actually nothing to tell. I feel much better about that than I did this afternoon." I just suddenly feel a whole lot worse about us, she wanted to add. Not now. Angel's nerves
were too raw. "She has never felt anything but annoy¬ance for me and she never will. I accept it."
"Under it all, she must—"
"You don't have to comfort me." Rett said it more sharply than she intended. "Really," she said more gently. "I think I went because I thought that way. I thought I might see a glimmer under her bitter exterior. But there really isn't anything there."
"I can't even conceive of it." Angel was pulling off the road.
"What's wrong?"
"I just want to hold you." She turned off the engine and pulled Rett into her arms. "Or you can hold me. Just hold me."
They sat in silence with Angel's head on Rett's chest. Rett was burning with what she wanted to say. The words were in her mouth. They wanted out. Her heart was pounding so loudly she thought Angel would wonder at the cause. She had never felt this pressure in her heart to put a name to the feeling. She'd said the words before and thought she'd meant them. This time was different. This time she felt like a child diving into the deep end of the pool for the very first time.
"I love you." Tears spilled down her cheeks. She'd gone so many years not letting herself completely love anyone because she'd felt her love wasn't of value. Thinking if she offered it to anyone they'd spit on it and throw it back in her face. She'd never loved Trish, she'd only loved the ego-stroking Trish gave her. She was filled with love for Angel, all of her, even the parts of Angel's mind that went to places she could never follow. Love crept into dark places she'd
always known were there. In that instant, with the words she'd managed to say echoing in her head, all the dark places were suffused with light.
A barely audible sniff told her that Angel was crying. Muffled from her chest the words floated up. "I love you, too."