Chapter Thirty

After turning off the lights downstairs, Abby slipped into the bedroom and walked into the bath, smiling at Clancy when their eyes met in the mirror. Clancy finished brushing her teeth and stretched her body a little. Unable to resist the play of muscles that danced across the younger woman's back, Abby gave her a gentle scratch, then Clancy turned to pull her into a tight hug. "I had the nicest birthday in the history of birthdays," she murmured.

"It's not over," Abby said. She leaned back in the hug, letting Clancy support her weight. They swayed together for a moment, smiling at each other. "Birthdays last until you go to sleep - and I have big plans for you."

"Plans? You have plans … for me?" Clancy batted her eyes ingenuously, and Abby leaned forward and nibbled on her ear.

"Big plans. Any complaints?"

"Not a one." Clancy walked over to the stereo and put in a rather vigorous orchestral CD. She took Abby's hand and started to tug her towards the bed. "Mmm," she sighed when she slid between in. "Fresh sheets. Yet another present."

"You deserve to have everything be perfect on your birthday," Abby insisted. "I'm gonna do my best to make sure that holds true for the rest of the night."

"Oh, it will. It's always perfect when we're together."

Abby smiled at her and ran her fingers through her hair, pushing the strands from her forehead. "I love you, Clancy," she whispered, hovering above the pink lips for a moment.

Clancy felt her heart rate start to pick up as she looked up into the depths of Abby's vivid blue eyes. She could feel the emotion surging between them, and her lips hungered for contact. "Kiss me," she whispered, unable to wait another second.

With her smile growing, Abby responded, pressing her lips gently to Clancy's. They kissed tenderly, unhurriedly, letting their bodies find a comfortable pace, and allowing the pressure to build slowly. "Mmm," Clancy sighed, "I think I could live on your kisses."

Abby lifted her head and smiled at her lover. "You are honestly the most talented kisser I've ever met. You know just how to turn me on - like you're slowly cranking up the heat under a simmering kettle. You could teach a master class."

"Uhn-uh," Clancy demurred gracefully. "You're the only one who inspires me."

"We make a good pair," Abby said, planting row after row of kisses along Clancy's brow and across her jaw line. She propped herself up on an elbow and regarded her lover for a moment, a contemplative look on her face. "You make me feel confident of myself. I feel safe to ask for what I need and what I want. I'm never embarrassed with you. That's been a real gift."

"I feel the same about you," Clancy said. "I have since the first night." She shook her head and let the intensity of her smile build. "I've never felt that with anyone else. There was always some awkwardness involved. But not with you. I felt understood from the start."

Abby started to kiss a path down her body, stopping whenever a particular spot caught her attention. "You're understood … you're desired … you're loved," she murmured against her damp skin. "You're very, very loved."

Clancy arched her back, letting out a pleasured gasp when Abby's hungry mouth suckled against her breast. "Oh, yeah, that's it," she urged, gently holding the back of Abby's head. "Come on, just a little harder." Her legs shot straight out in reaction when Abby gladly complied. "Oh, so good," she purred, increasing the pressure against Abby's head. "You're making me throb, baby."

Sliding down the bed, Abby urged Clancy's legs apart and nuzzled her cheek against her. "I can feel you," she whispered. "I can feel your pulse beating."

Shifting her hips while guiding Abby's head, Clancy tried to obtain the relief she desperately needed. "Come on," she gently cajoled. "Just turn your head and let me feel that sweet tongue."

The soft cheek moved lightly against her, causing Clancy to pump her hips in frustration. "It's your birthday," Abby murmured, shifting up to her elbow. "We can't let you finish so quickly."

"We can't?" Clancy asked weakly. "Are you sure?"

With a warm smile, Abby nodded her head. "I'm positive. You need a nice, long, slow simmer on your birthday. Don't you want that?" She gazed up at Clancy, and the blonde realized just how powerless she was against this lovely woman.

"I want whatever you want," Clancy sighed, then flopped down against the mattress. "It may kill me, but I want it."

"No, it won't kill you. You'll love it."

"God knows I'm not complaining," Clancy murmured. "It's just that your touch is so overwhelming. I lose all control."

Crawling back up to lie next to Clancy, Abby put on a contemplative look and asked, "How can we slow you down?"

"I've got an idea," Clancy said. "I can tell you about the fight I had with Hayley."

Abby slapped herself on the forehead. "Are you serious? She promised she'd try harder!"

"We had a very nice two minute conversation," Clancy said. "But we were together for ten."

Looking tired, Abby asked, "What happened?"

"Uhm … I don't really wanna tell you," Clancy said. "I think this should be between Hayley and me. I just told you about it to keep you in the loop."

"So I'm in the loop, but I don't know anything? That's not much of a loop."

She looked decidedly unhappy, but Clancy knew she couldn't make things much better. "I know that. But we have to work out our own relationship. It can't go through you, and it can't be because she's trying to please you. I think it's gonna take a while, too. I was pretty rude to her."

Hurt, Abby cocked her head, looking at her lover. "Why?"

"Because she was being a big baby. I just don't have any patience for that. I'm tired of coddling her, Abby. I have to be genuine with her."

"And being rude is genuine?"

Confidently, Clancy nodded. "Sometimes it is. Hayley was asking for it. And I have to show her that she can't get away with that with me."

Abby let out a breath. "Well, I've cooled off. Sex is the last thing on my mind."

They lay together, not touching, each woman deep in thought. After a long time, Clancy asked, "Are you mad at me?"

"No," Abby said. She reached over and took her partner's hand. "But I don't like it when you and Hayley fight. I wish you could be more adult and cut her a little slack."

Clancy sat up like a fish being reeled in. "A little? Jesus Christ! I've cut her so much slack she could wrap the rope around this house! And I am acting like an adult. An adult who's sick of babying another adult. Remember when you called that prick out at the dance? Were you being childish?"

"That was completely differ -" Abby began but stopped before she finished. "We're not talking about some jerk who I've disliked for years. We're talking about my daughter. My eighteen-year-old daughter. Someone I have to have in my life." She looked so sad that Clancy's heart clutched in sympathy. She tried to touch her partner, but Abby deftly moved just enough to show she wasn't in the mood.

Clancy collected her thoughts, trying to think of a way to explain herself. "I know how much Hayley means to you."

"No you don't," Abby said tiredly. "You can't really know what this bond is like if you haven't been a mother."

"Great," the blonde said. "So I can never have an opinion about your kids because I don't have kids of my own? Is that really how you want things to be?"

Abby shook her head and stroked Clancy rather absently. "No, that's not what I want. I just … I just feel like you must not understand how much Hayley means to me. If you did you'd try harder to be patient with her."

"Uhm … there's another possibility," Clancy said. "Try this one out. I know how much Hayley means to you, but I don't handle things like you do."

Abby thought about that for a moment, then reluctantly nodded. "I guess that's possible."

"Hayley will never be my child, and I'll never treat her like you will. But we're gonna have to be around each other and we can't just act polite to each other for your sake. We need to clear the air."

"Any you have to do that by being rude?" Abby's eyebrow was arched in her most disapproving mom look.

"No, I don't," Clancy said, her patience wearing thin. "I don't intend to be rude. I swear I don't. But she acts like such a baby when we're alone, and I'm not going to let her bully me. That'll never work."

"She seems like a frightened little girl when I talk to her," Abby said. "Can't you have some sympathy for her?"

"She acts like a kid who needs a good spanking when I talk to her. Is that the kind of behavior you'd have sympathy for? Is that how you want her to behave?"

Abby rolled over, facing away from her lover. She didn't say a word, and Clancy didn't try to draw her out. Instead she lay back down, hoping that Abby wouldn't sulk for long. Finally, the brunette spoke. "I hate it when you're right."

Clancy clambered over her, wrinkling her nose playfully. "I'm not like you are, babe. You have to let me be myself."

Abby grabbed her nose. "I want you to be like me. Then you'd be perfect." She rolled back onto her back and pulled Clancy close. "Kiss me you rude, child-hater."

Clancy did as she was told, kissing her partner until things started to heat up between them again. "Mad at me?"

"No. I'm a little upset, but I think it's more about the situation than you."

"Good." Clancy playfully touched Abby's lips with her finger. Tracing their outline and pulling the bottom one down, only to let it flap back into place. Feeling frisky once again, she asked, "Aren't you glad I don't wanna have kids? We'd do nothing but fight."

"Thank God," Abby said, smiling. "The last thing I want around here is more kids. Besides, they'd get in the way of my making love to you whenever … wherever … I want."

"How about now?" Clancy asked. "I am still the birthday girl."

"Great idea." She rolled Clancy onto her back and kissed her, breathing in her scent, feeling the softness of her lips. She was lost in the kisses, not another sensation penetrating her sensual fog. They moved slowly against each other, lips together until Abby looked into the moss green eyes and said, "I love you so much." Her warm breath tickled Clancy's sensitized lips. "I want to spend the rest of my life loving you."

"Are you proposing?" Clancy smiled up at her with such a warm, love-filled smile that Abby found herself nodding her assent.

"I am." She kissed her again, somehow managing to fill the lingering kiss with even more emotion. "I want to see your sweet face every morning for all of the days of my life."

"I want that too," Clancy whispered, surprised when a tear slipped past her temple.

Abby lifted her body up a little so that she could gaze into Clancy's eyes. "When I married Will I knew that I loved him and that I wanted to build a life with him - but I didn't really know what it meant to give myself to another person." She reached up and unclasped her gold chain, letting the chain and Will's ring pool in her hand. She stared at the gold for a moment, and then placed them on her bedside table.

Clancy was completely shocked. "What are you doing?"

"I can't wear it any more," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "I realized something when I was talking to Hayley yesterday. I can't be married to two people. Will's gone, and I have to concentrate on making a life with you."

"But … but …"

"No buts. I'll always love him." She took in a deep breath and said, "I don't know if I've ever said this to you, but there's a big part of me that wishes he were lying beside me right now." She was afraid to look, but she made herself meet Clancy's eyes. The gray depths were untroubled, surprising Abby. "Are you … okay with that?"

"Yeah, I am," the younger woman said softly. "I love you so much that I'd glad give you up to bring him back. I'd do anything to take away the pain you all have gone through."

Abby kissed her, gently brushing lips again and again. "You're the most generous person I've ever known."

Clancy laughed a little. "It's easy to be generous with wishes that can't come true." She hugged Abby tightly. "But I'm serious. You'd be crazy to be glad he died. I understand completely."

Abby smiled at her, then touched her face, letting her fingers brush across the symmetrical features. "I'm not glad he died, but I'm so happy to have found you." She nodded towards the ring. "Will is a wonderful part of my past." She kissed Clancy soundly. "You're my future."

"Are you positive?" Clancy asked. "It doesn't bother me to have you wear it."

"I'm positive," Abby said. "It would bother me. This is something that I need to do. I want to marry you. I want to merge our lives - in every way. I want to take our differences and let them come together to create a new, even stronger, whole."

"Like a grafted tree," Clancy said, her eyes taking on a sparkle that always seemed to radiate from her when she spoke of her abiding passion.

Abby nodded tentatively, not really sure where Clancy was going with this, but anxious to hear her thoughts. "One of the first times I came over to have lunch I was listening to you talk and I started to think of you as a tree."

"As a tree," Abby parroted, not understanding the analogy.

"Yeah," the architect said. "I do that a lot. I think of what a certain person would look like as a tree."

"Like …"

"Oh, like I think of my Gramma as a Dutch Elm. Sturdy, stately, old and tough. A little thing like Dutch Elm disease wouldn't dare try to infect her."

Abby laughed, thinking of the flinty older woman covered with green leaves. "Okay. Tell me about my tree."

"Well," Clancy said thoughtfully. "You were talking about Will and how hard it was to have to raise the kids all alone. There was such a … almost tangible sadness about you that I started thinking of how that would look on a tree."

"Mmm … you've lost me."

Surprisingly, Clancy got out of bed, and went to her briefcase, pulling out a sketchpad an a few pencils. Coming back to bed, she propped herself up with a few pillows and then placed the pad on her thighs and began to draw. "I started thinking of how your family depended on you, and on how great your loss was. I thought of this cool citrus tree I saw once. I've gotta draw it to show you."

Abby lay on her side, her head propped up on her hand and observed her, delighting in watching the intent look in Clancy's gray eyes. Just the tip of her tongue poked out occasionally, and Abby had to force herself not to scoot up the bed and kiss it.

Slowly, the drawing took shape, turning into a beautifully rendered recreation of a robust orange tree. "This is how I think of you," Clancy explained, shading in the trunk of the mature tree. "You're the sturdy, hearty host - the rootstock." She pointed to a gnarled, healed-over wound about halfway up the large trunk. "This represents Will," she said softly. "He was a nice, sweet tangerine that was grafted to you when you were just a sapling, and together you grew to make a beautiful, healthy tree." She pointed to two sturdy, but young, branches near the wound. "This particular rootstock naturally hybridized, and created a new variety of citrus. That's Trevor and Hayley," she indicated. "A little bit of orange and a little bit of tangerine. Let's call them orangerines," she decided. "Both of them are healthy young stock that are almost ready to start bearing fruit on their own."

She cast a quick glance at Abby, and bent to brush her tears from her cheeks. With a warm kiss she sat up again and pointed at the wound. "When this branch died the whole tree was in shock and it could have died. But it didn't. It took years for the wound to heal, but it kept on going. Bending for another kiss she whispered, "The host had to keep going, and she did, Abby. She kept going to insure the survival of the whole system." Clancy tapped her pencil on the bark of the trunk. "She's a survivor." She met Abby's eyes again and said, "The wound is still visible - and it always will be. But the trunk is ready to grow again. She's ready to take on another challenge."

Pointing out a large, weight-bearing branch near the healed wound she said, "This scaffold is going to have to go." She looked at Abby and said, "That branch is filled with years of sorrow and pain and longing. All of the things that you have to let go of to be able to love again. We're gonna have to cut it away to let the scion - that's me," she added, "have a good growing medium." She took an eraser and removed the weighty, gnarled branch, exposing a clean, pale surface. "Now we put a notch in the tree, here." She did so, using her eraser and her pencil. "Then we put another one in the scion, and match up their cadmium layers, so the scion can receive nourishment."

Quickly, but surely, she sketched a branch that was perfectly attached to the tree; smaller and shorter than the two offshoots she had earlier pointed out. "This is me," she said. "I think I'll be a kumquat. Now, this is a risky thing … this branch is a little big to be a scion, and it has some special needs and requirements." She grinned at Abby and said, "But this big, healthy rootstock can handle them."

"Are you sure?" Abby asked, looking up at her with hope-filled eyes.

"Positive," the architect said. "But there will be problems." She tapped each of the smaller branches and said, "These two are going to have a period of shock. They're going to get a little less nurturing from the trunk since the trunk has to parse out her nutrients to make sure this big graft takes. One of the branches in particular is gonna take a very long while to adjust. But the cool thing," she said, her eyes dancing, "the really cool thing, is that once the graft takes the whole system will be stronger. The stress and the increased demands make the trunk stronger, they make the roots stronger, they increase the available nutrients to all of the branches - not just the new graft." She was bubbling with excitement as she continued to sketch in dozens of perfectly-drawn leaves. "Some day - and it'll take years - this tree will be a magnificent specimen. With oranges and orangerines, and kumquats just dripping from its branches." She leaned in and kissed Abby gently, whispering, "We'll load our families and our friends down with all of this sweet, delicious fruit."

Abby took the sketchbook from her hands and placed a gentle kiss on the drawing. "I'm gonna frame this and put this on my dresser so I can see it every morning." She wrapped Clancy in her arms and kissed her tenderly, letting her lips convey what her heart was too overwhelmed to express. "I'll do my very best to make this graft take."

"All that matters is that you're right where you belong - right next to me."

"I'll do my best, Clancy." She kissed her lover gently, running her fingers through her hair. "You made me jump the gun on asking you to marry me, you know. I was going to do that on Christmas."

Clancy blinked at her, a curious grin turning up the corners of her mouth. "Were you really? You want to have a ceremony and everything?"

"Of course I do!" Abby pulled back, her disappointment obvious. "Don't you?"

"Well, sure. I think that would be fantastic. I just didn't think you'd want to do something so public. I mean, I'm sure it would be hard for the kids …"

"Clancy," the older woman murmured, "I know it'll be difficult for them, but that's no reason not to do it. I know you don't have much of a relationship with organized religion - but I do. I want to give my kids the clear message that when you really love someone, you should be sure enough about him or her to commit yourself to that person - and ask for God's blessing. I don't just want to live with you - I want to show everyone how much you mean to me - how committed I am to you."

"I will," Clancy whispered. "I'll marry you, Abby. In front of God and our families and our friends. I will."

Abby kissed her fiercely, then, surprisingly, started to get out of bed, with Clancy still seeking her lips. "Be right back," Abby said, putting on her robe and leaving the room.

She was only gone for a few minutes, and when she returned she was holding something behind her back. Clancy gave her a very curious look, her eyes wide with anticipation. "Whatcha got there, good lookin?"

"Your Christmas present. Well … one of them. But I think this is the right time to give it to you."

"Cool! Christmas and birthday rolled into one."

"Mmm … more like birthday and engagement rolled into one," Abby said, giving her partner a very satisfied-looking smile.

"Gimme!"

"So anxious," Abby said, grinning at her exuberant lover. She sat cross-legged on the bed, facing Clancy.

Abby brought her hand around to rest in her lap, and Clancy saw the navy blue jewelry box resting there. The landscaper briefly allowed herself to worry, Oh, God, please don't look disappointed. She doesn't know that it's dangerous to wear a ring when you're working. You can just put it on a necklace like she did. Smile and make it look sincere!

"This is a little … okay, very … untraditional, but so are we," Abby said, smiling warmly. "I really hope you like it, Clance, but if you don't, I hope you feel comfortable telling me so. I want this to be right."

Okay, okay, you can be honest. Tell her that you can't wear it during the day, but that you'll put it on as soon as you put the tools away. She'll be fine with that. Now reassured, Clancy held her hand out and allowed Abby to place the box there. "I love it," she said, smiling sweetly.

"You haven't opened it," Abby helpfully pointed out.

"I don't have to open it to love it. The fact that you bought it for me is all that matters."

"C'mere you romantic little devil." Abby rose to her knees and spent several moments kissing her partner. "Now, open it, for goodness sake, or it will be your Christmas present."

Grinning, Clancy lifted the lid and stared at the gift for a moment, trying to comprehend exactly what it was. Inside the satin-lined box lay two fairly substantial gold hoops - with a brilliant diamond floating at the base of each - seemingly immune from the laws of gravity.

"Do you like it?" Abby asked excitedly.

"Of course I do," Clancy said, a little furrow between her brows. "But … I'm not sure I understand …"

"It's a nipple ring," Abby said, giggling.

"Uhm … Abby … it's two nipple rings. That's a pretty expensive spare."

"Well," Abby said, "you told me that you wanted to have your other nipple pierced …"

"Oh! I get it! I can have a matching pair. Wow, Abby, these are phenomenal. I've never seen anything so beautiful."

"Wrong again," Abby said, shaking her head. "You're a little slow tonight. Must be old age." She took the box from her partner and pressed her fingernail into a tiny catch at the top of one of the rings, then pulled the ring apart, the gold swinging away from the diamond. Holding it in her hand, she said, "It's your engagement ring. I talked to your parents, and your dad told me that you never wear a regular ring because of your job."

"Oh, Abby! That was so thoughtful of you!" She blinked, and said, "but why two of them?"

"One for you, and one for me," the older woman said, grinning slyly.

"You're gonna get your nipple pierced?"

"Yep. It's traditional to wear your engagement ring on your left hand, so I thought we could both have our left nipples pierced. There's something so appealing about marking my body to show my love for you - and having you be the only one to see it."

"Oh, Abby," the blonde said, throwing her arms around her partner. "You know me so well. This is exactly what I would have chosen - if I'd had the creativity to think of it."

"Well, you didn't know that I've been thinking about having my nipple pierced, so you were at a disadvantage. I see your face when I pull on your ring, and I need to experience it for myself."

After giving Abby a slow, probing kiss, the architect said, "You've made so many changes this year, Abby; falling in love … with a woman. Having trouble with Hayley, losing a close friend. Are you sure you want to make another change - especially one so permanent?"

"I'm absolutely sure," the older woman said. "Our relationship is permanent, Clancy, and I want a permanent sign on my body that signifies our bond." Stroking Clancy's face with her fingers, Abby said, "I told your family that one of our strengths is our willingness to extend ourselves - to try to see the world through each other's eyes. Piercing my nipple is my way of being more like you."

Clancy grinned at her and said, "And wearing a big diamond is my way of being more like you. Classy, elegant, and incredibly resilient."

Abby kissed her again and again, murmuring as she pressed her lips against her lover's neck, "A diamond isn't just resilient, Clance, it's impervious from harm - just like our love."

"Just like our love," Clancy sighed. "Always changing, always growing, always sustaining us through our long, long life together."

Giving her lover a wistful smile that spoke volumes, Abby said, "We can't guarantee how long we'll have, sweetheart. All we can do is try to treat every day like it's precious."

"Every day with you is precious," Clancy said. "And I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how precious you are to me."

"What a wonderful goal," Abby sighed.

"Mmm … not a goal," Clancy murmured, "that's a promise. A promise that I'm gonna have an absolutely fantastic time keeping." Giving Abby her cockiest grin, the younger woman added, "And so are you."