A Spoilt Little Boy in a Bicycle Shop

Paul: What a beautiful bicycle!

Uncle Bill: Paul! Be careful!

Salesman: Excuse me, sir. This child is too small to ride this bicycle. It's a very difficult bicycle to...

Uncle В i 11: Be careful, Paul!

Paul: You always tell me to be careful. Don't help me. I won't fall.

Salesman: But, sir. This is a very special bicycle. It's... Paul: Don't pull the bicycle, Uncle Bill. I'll do it myself.

Uncle В i 11: Be sensible, Paul. This gentleman says it's, a... (Paul falls)

P a u 1: It was Uncle Bill's fault. He was holding the bicycle.

A Lovely Little Lion

Billy: I love wild life in its natural element. Look at all your lovely animals, Lucy. Lots and lots.

Lucy: Eleven, actually.

Billy: And look! Here's a lovely little lion — a real live black lion asleep on the lawn.

Lucy: That's a leopard, actually.

Billy: I don't believe it! Leopards are yellow. Look, Lucy, he's laughing! Do animals understand the English language?

Lucy: Leave him alone, Billy. He's licking his lips.

Billy: Would you like a lettuce leaf, little lion?

Lucy: Billy, be careful — Oh Lord!

Billy: Let go! Help, Lucy, he's got my leg!

Lucy: Actually, that's how I lost my left leg. You wouldn't listen, you silly fool. Well, let's limp over and look at the gorillas.

The Respective Merits of Frogs and Rabbits

Roger: My rabbit can roar like a rhinoceros.

Barry: Rubbish! Rabbits don't roar, Roger.

Roger: You're wrong, Barry. My rabbit's an Arabian rabbit. They're very rare. When he's angry he races round and round his rabbit run. And if he's in a real rage he rushes on to the roof and roars.

Barry: How horrid! Really, I prefer my frog. I've christened him Fred.

Roger: Freddie Frog! How ridiculous! '

Barry: An abbreviation for Frederick. Well, you remember when I rescued him from the river last February? He was crying like a canary. He was drowning.

R о g e r: Really, Barry! Frogs don't drown.

A Dreadful Train Crash

P r u e: Weren't you in that train crash on Friday, Fred?

Fred: Oh Prue, it's like a dreadful dream.

P r u e: A tractor — isn t that right? — crossing a bridge with a trailer of fresh fruit crashed through the brick wall in front of the train?

Fred: Yes. The train driver's a friend of my brother's. I was travelling up front with him. I was thrown through the windscreen on to the grass, but he was trapped under a huge great crate. I could hear him groaning.

Prue: Fred! How grim!

F r e d: I was pretty frightened, Prue. I can promise you! I crawled through the broken crates and tried to drag him free. His throat was crushed. He couldn't breathe properly, but he menaged a grin.

Prue: How incredibly brave!

295. Read the rhymes and learn them.

1. One, one, one

Little dog, run,

Two, two, two

Cats, see you,

Three, three, three

Birds on a tree,

Four, four, four

Rats on the floor. .

2. The men in the wilderness asked of me

How many strawberries grew in the sea.

I answered him as I thought good,

As many as red herrings grew in the wood.

3. Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee

Resolved to have a battle,

For Tweedle-Dum said Tweedle-Dee

Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew by a monstrous crow,

As big as a tar barrel,

Which frightened both the heroes so

They quite forgot their quarrel.

4. There was an old woman,

And she sold puddings and pies,

She went to the mill,

And the dust flew in her eyes,

Hot pies and cold pies to sell!

Wherever she goes,

You can follow her by the smell.

5. Little Lady Lilly lost her lovely locket

Lazy little Lucy found the lovely locket

Lovely little locket lay in Lucy's pocket

Lazy little Lucy lost the lovely locket.

6. A right-handed fellow named Wright

In writing "write" always wrote "right"

Where he meant to write right,

If he'd written "write" right,

Wright would not have wrought rot writing "rite".

7. The little black dog ran round the house

And set the bull a-roaring,

And drove the monkey in the boat,

Who set the oars a-rowing,

And scared the cock upon the rock,

Who cracked his throat with crowing.

296. Transcribe the proverbs and learn them.

1. Little friends may prove great fiends.

2. There is neither rhyme nor reason in it.

3. Who won't be ruled by the rudder must be ruled by the rock.

4. When angry, count a hundred.

5. Truth is stranger than fiction.

6. Live and learn.

7. Live and let live.

8. Let sleeping dogs lie.

9. Let well alone.

10. Love me, love my dog.

297. Underline the words with the same consonant clusters as 1-2.

     1 bread [br]	2 wings [Nz]
     blend, spring, bridge, umbrella, brush, spread, embrace, bled, bride	wrongs, winks, kings, whims, springs, shrinks, songs, thongs, wins, thinks

298. Match the sounds in A (1-7) with the descriptions in B (a-g) of how to make the sounds.

A	B
1 [J], [E:], [R], [H], [L]	a) ‘diphthongs’ – made of two vowel sounds
2 [I], [e], [O], [q], [V], [x], [A]	b) ‘long vowels’ – a longer sound
3 [Iq], [Vq], [eq], [eI], [OI], [aI]	c) ‘short vowels’ – a shorter sound
4 [p], [b], [t], [d], [k], [g], [C], [G]	d) ‘nasals’ – air coming through the nose ‘leteral’ – air coming around the sides of the tongue
5 [f], [v], [T], [D], [s], [z], [S], [Z], [h]	e) ‘approximants’ – air moving between two parts of the mouth which are not so close to each other
6 [r], [j], [w]	f) ‘fricatives’ – air moving between two parts of the mouth which are very close to each other
7 [m], [n], [N], [l]	g) ‘plosives’ or ‘stops’ – air released suddenly ‘affricates’ – air released slowly