Main Points About Batterers

1. Often have low self esteem.

Even though a lot of batterers might appear to be 'tough", "strong", and "confident", more often than not they really suffer from low self-esteem.

2. Rush in to relationships

Many victims dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together.

3. Are excessively jealous

Abusers often say that jealousy is a sign of love.

4. Exhibit controlling behaviour

Often at the beginning, a batterer will say that this behaviour is because they are concerned for your safety, a need for you to use time well or to make good decisions.

5. Have unrealistic expectations or demands

Abusive people often expect their partner to meet ALL of their needs: the perfect partner, lover, and friend. They say things like "if you love me, I'm all you need and you're all I need".

6. Use isolation to keep you centred on them

Frequently, an abusive person tries to cut the partner off from all resources.

7. Believe in male supremacy and the stereotyped masculine role in the family.

Batterers are often obsessive about appearing to the "the man of the house" and they tend to hold very high and rigid rules about how they get act because they are "the man" - often leading them to feel the need to dominate and control and to expect their word and their needs to be catered to at all times, including in the bedroom.

8. Use of force during sex

Abusive partners may show little concern about whether you want to have sex, and use sulking or anger to manipulate you into giving in to sex.

9. Have poor communication skills

Some people talk with their words, while others talk with their actions (fists). Abusers typically have trouble with discussing "feelings", especially very strong ones like anger or frustration.

10. Use negative behaviours (drugs, alcohol, battering) to cope with stress.

Studies suggest that batterers, in general, have a higher incident of drug and alcohol abuse than non-batterers.

11. Blame others for their actions.

Commonly, abusers use the actions of others as excuses for their own behaviour.

12. Are prone to hypersensitivity

Abusers are easily insulted, and may take the slightest setback as a personal attack.

13. Present dual personalities.

Often the most frustrating thing for the victim, many abusers are also excellent actors.

14. Exhibit cruelty to animals or children

This is a person who punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain.

Men are Born Batterers: Debates Arguments for:

1. Men are conquerors

Male gender has always taken aggressive positions throughout the history. In ancient times men fought to each other in order to occupy more territory for their tribe. With the organization of power men fought for their feudal. Then the centralization of sates took place and man fought for their kings. Then new leaders came in the world arena and created their armies. New motives arouse with every succeeding era but one thing remained unchanged: med used to fight, struggle and conquer. The necessity of war has recently disappeared in the majority of the developed countries of the world, but the necessity to conquer is still in men’s hearts. The thirst for fighting leads some desperate men to war and not necessarily for their motherland, but most of the representatives of the male gender decide to transfer this thirst to something else. Usually, a woman takes role of a substitution.