Yulia Karostik, 501
If a woman leaves the batterer, she loses.
Introduction
The issue of domestic violence, its multiple causes and ghastly consequences has been a topic for heated debate for psychologists, society researchers, politicians and, most vitally, battering men and battered women. Although today the society at large agrees on the fact that spousal abuse, be it physical, verbal or emotional is inadmissible, debates over whether the battering victim should leave the batterer or help him deal with his aggression-management problem through therapy and counseling still continue. While some claim any abuse victim has right to abandon her batterer, others consider her abuser’s correction and treatment the woman’s responsibility.
The notion of domestic violence
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.
Examples of abuse include:
name-calling or putdowns
keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends
withholding money
stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job
actual or threatened physical harm
sexual assault
stalking
intimidation
Violence can be criminal and include physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.
Violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in grown up in abusive households are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may develop emotional and behavior problems, including the inferiority complex, which in boys many a time transforms into superiority complex, turning the once-abused boys into abusers in later life.
Common myths about home abuse and why they are wrong
Domestic violence is only characteristic of some countries/communities.
At least 1 in 3 women around the globe, or up to one billion women, have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetimes. Usually, the abuser is a member of her own family or someone known to her.
According to the World Health Organization, one in five women will be a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime.
25% of all violent crimes reported worldwide involve a man assaulting his wife or partner.
International research consistently demonstrates that a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a current or former partner than by any other person. Findings from nearly 80 population-bases studies indicate that between 10% and 60% of women who have ever been partnered have experienced at least one incident of physical violence from a current or former partner.
Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.
Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age, and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence. The problem obviously transcends racial, ethnic and socioeconomic lines
Some people deserve to be hit.
No one deserves to be abused. The only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser.
Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law.
Alcohol, drug abuse, and stress are no excuse for exercising violence on one’s family.
Alcohol, drug abuse, mental disorders and stress cause domestic violence.
Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence. Abusers often say they use these excuses for their violence.
Generally, domestic violence happens when an abuser has learned and chooses to abuse.
Spousal abuse is rarely caused by mental illness, and if it is, in vast majority of cases the seizures can be put under control.
Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife and it should be dealt with inside a quiet room; behind a closed door.
Domestic violence affects the society at large.
The victim lacks knowledge and tools to cope with being abused, hence until she voices the problem and seeks for help there’s little chance to solve the problem.
The community can offer the battering victim a variety of solutions to her situation, including individual therapy, couple counseling, shelters for abused women, and police orders.
If it were that bad, she would just leave.
There are many reasons why women may not leave. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be abused.
Leaving can be dangerous. The most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave.
Domestic violence in Belarus
The results of studies show that 4 of the 5 Belarusian women aged 18-60 are subjected to psychological violence at home, one in four - to physical violence, 22.4% of women experience economic abuse and 13.1% experience sexual abuse from the part of her husband or partner. 8% of Belarusian women experience physical and sexual abuse at home and 9.5% were subjected to physical abuse by her husband/partner during pregnancy. Having experienced physical and sexual abuse, only 6.0% of men and 46.8% of women seek help. This includes not only professional assistance of a psychologist, social workers, police and healthcare workers, but also support and advice from friends, family and neighbors. 40% of females who have been victims of sexual or physical abuse, had to leave their homes trying to escape the violence.
Treatment for domestic abuse. Therapy and counseling
Domestic violence is very difficult to recover from. The victim may have issues learning to trust again, be dealing with post-traumatic stress, flashbacks, nightmares, or feel they are constantly living in fear. It is very common that the victim may experience long-term stress or anxiety issues. Depending on the nature and severity of the abuse, the victim may also need to recover from physical injuries.
Counseling is an important tool for the victim to help overcome the trauma, recover and rebuild their life. It provides a safe environment where the victim can work through their issues, helping to get their life back on track and be able to move on.
Counseling can also be helpful for abusers. If someone is able to recognize that their behavior is becoming unacceptable, counseling can help them to find were the emotion is coming from, and help change their behavior.