Books on Happiness / the happiness revolution - 2 students
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with your life and your habit patterns means to become receptive to all the diversity within you. Becoming a creature of charm is to be one who is charmed by your own life and the lives of all whom you meet.
Recently a potential new patient, Ellen, called my o ce. As is customary, we spoke for 10-15 minutes to get to know each other and determine whether we should work together on her health issues. She was a factory worker who claimed to su er from post-traumatic stress disorder and depression for the last ten years. Her problems began from stress at work and her list of ailments continued to grow each year
– carpal tunnel syndrome, fibromyalgia, stress dermatitis, high blood pressure and a multitude of inflammatory diseases throughout her body. Furthermore, she is seeking legal actions against her employer. Her level of anger and blame was at an all-time high. After listing her medications, she concluded by asking me if I could help her.
On initial telephone interviews, I never really know what is going to happen. With this ambiguity, I answered her in this manner, “Ellen, I do a lot of lecturing at seminars these days. One of the most common questions I ask my audiences that have come to learn about the happiness revolution is: ‘Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?’
“For you, I would modify this question to be: ‘Do you want to be right or do you want to get well?’” I went on to explain that revenge is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will also get sick. “You will have to become a creature of charm if you want to work with me.” At that point, she interrupted me to confess that she had never been charming. Her tone of voice told me that she was curious and wanted to know more. I plowed ahead. “I am not asking you to be passive about the policies at your place of work. If something needs to be corrected, then do that, but do not continue to poison yourself with toxic feelings of rage and blame. It will never help you and it will never heal you.
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“Are you willing to explore ways to accept all that has happened in your life? At home and at work? Your fault, their fault or nobody’s fault? Could you do that? Any and every therapy works better if your mood is charming and kind.
“Diversity is a major buzz word today, but it really means accepting all the diversities and distractions in your life. If you still hate a memory or hide a habit, your level of self-acceptance still needs some polish. You can reduce your pain and heal your body much more easily if a truce has been called on the battlefield within you. Sustainable peace deep within is essential before there can ever be peace in your body and peace in your life – then you will be a creature of charm.”
With those words our conversation was drawing to a close. Ellen had become thoughtful and very honest about her emotional life and expectations of her doctors. I asked her to think about our discussion and call me back in 10 days so that we could decide whether we should work together on her ailments. Embracing the diversity of the world begins at home with a population of one. This embrace is love in action. It is a sign of the new times ahead. It is the sign of a new revolution.
THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN
We live in a new era. A time that challenges and emboldens our very core. The baby-boomers of the 1950s are aging and seeking their own version of immortality. The number of single adults living alone is higher than ever recorded in human history. Herbal and dietary therapies are now widely accepted and sought after. Longevity and sustainability have become the mantras at the supermarket. The happiness revolution has begun.
I hope these many chapters have o ered you new tools and new understandings of how you can find happiness now and in the days to come. We are entering an era of great consequence. Forty years ago
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President Kennedy warned us that we have the power to make this the best generation in the history of mankind, or the last. Did Kennedy know that we were about to exceed nature’s tolerance for our behavior? Born from our untethered desires to have it all, our lust for acquisition grew and grew. From houses to cars, iPods to televisions, we wanted our own; we did not want to share rides on city buses or live with our relatives. Our desire was never cultivated or disciplined. We wanted what we wanted. None of us knew that the emotional and environmental cost of our demands would be exorbitant and potentially catastrophic. Only transformation at a personal level can begin to stem the tide of this unchecked consumerism.
Having watched and assisted many people in their own self-transfor- mation process, I have seen similar
patterns arise spontaneously in their e orts. The following traits and behaviors happen without e ort when people consciously choose love as the answer. Happy people do not harm themselves or others. Regardless of their personal past, there dawns a
new day when they become firmly established in an eternal union with their conscience. This inner reformation flows outward in every aspect of their life. An awakened mind is a happy mind.
Awakened minds hold themselves to a higher standard. Not only do they do that which is hard, they live in a manner which extols a virtue that cannot be suppressed. There is a light, a brilliance in them that all can see and enjoin. Self-transformation at an individual level eventually births a sense of global unity that will face and defeat all formidable attempts to disrupt nature in its most glorious and most subtle forms.
There is nobility in this call, and there will be sacrifice in this action, as we dedicate a portion of our time and resources to living in
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greater conformity to the laws of nature. We will continue to raise the bar, until that which we cannot live without -- the oceans and forests, homes and factories, rivers and plants -- have been restored to their rightful place. And you and I must live together as one community on one planet.
To hear the voice of your conscience is to hear the song of our planet. We will surrender that which has never served us well and we will gain that which brings longevity and sustainability to our children and grandchildren. This global movement begins by extending kindness to yourself and those around you. A mass of angry marchers cannot take us where we need to go. You must leave your family, but not your family of parents and children. You must leave
your family of desires and doubts, which obstructs your view of the world and all living beings.
It is time for us to re-evaluate the value and the consequences of our lifestyles. Self-discipline and self-regulation cannot be imposed from the outside. Discipline is the internal process of evaluation and renewal of self-e ort. To be a disciple of goodness means to discipline one’s self for a higher good, a higher reward. The happiness revolution will occur as spontaneous bands of individuals, families and communities choose kindness and sustainability over fads and fears.
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CONCLUSION
To join the happiness revolution, gather your courage to dismantle unhealthy beliefs and thought patterns that will never support your goal of peace and happiness. Sharpen your mind and learn to reject those opinions that keep you scared or lonely. The more you hear and heed the voice of your own heart, the easier it will be to let the tedium and misery from the past fall from your attention.
This is not the time to become passive. You will need to have a strong and cultured ego. Rather than attempting to kill your ego, try expanding your ego to include those around you. Eventually, let your ego expand to include all of us. Train your ego so that you can be confident and do your work. Do not be afraid of people and do not be afraid of your ego -- it is your friend and can become a great ally. Develop self-confidence about your own validity; this will free you from needing outside validation.
Use this book and every resource that you have available to design a holistic model for living that works for you and your family. Let common sense and practicality be the
source of this model. Keep encouraging your mind to close all the doors on potential obstacles. Any fascination with failure and frustration will wear down as the light within you becomes more captivating than the shadows.
In the next phase of growth, we will see good and kind people become generous and focused on service to others. Humanity cannot become inert. Our inner commotion is coming to an end, as the light of this new era has re-kindled the light within us. The spirit of humanity is calling out to all of us to become a light to ourselves. It beckons us to develop trust in ourselves, in our innate abilities, in our kinsmen, in God and in the eternal law that clearly explains the
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relationship between sowing and reaping. No one out there is the cause of your grace or your misery – you are the sole creator of your happiness.
Longevity is born from vision. inspires enthusiasm and creativity. Why would anyone want to live a long life, if their daily life is unpleasant? The lifestyle and skill-sets that foster happiness will simultaneously foster health and rejuvenation. As you choose to live a quality life, the quantity of time allotted to you may expand. However, my patients continually teach me that their quality of life and love
is much more precious than the number of years that they live. Finally, don’t assume that this book was written for anyone other
than you. For who is more deserving of happiness than you? No one. Finding your purpose has nothing to do with your profession, income level, or social status. When you know yourself, your place in the world and how wonderful you are, then you are starting to fulfill the purpose of your life -- this is where happiness is born.
He who wants to do good, knocks at the gate; he who loves, finds the gates open.
-- Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
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CHAPTER SUMMARY
•We would do well to remember that all the great sages declare that love supersedes everything.
•Awakened minds are held to a higher standard. Not only must we do that which is hard, we must live that which extols a virtue that cannot be suppressed.
•We will surrender that which has never served us well and we will gain that which brings longevity and sustainability to our children and grandchildren. This global movement begins by extending kindness to yourself and those around you.
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Acknowledgments
Iam forever grateful to everyone who shared their lives and insights with me. Continually my main inspiration to write and teach comes from the potential for greatness and happiness I see
in the hearts and lives of my patients, friends and family.
It is the loving guidance of Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, Ph.D. that has allowed me to see solutions to physical and emotional su ering where many said there was none. He encouraged me to re-work Ayurveda into a format that addresses the lifestyle and stresses of today. Thank you, Panditji, for your untiring e orts to teach and guide me in this work.
The love of my family and friends has been overwhelming. No matter how much I travel or sequester myself to type, they are there for me in every way imaginable. I am so happy to have this book dedicated to my mother, Barbara Ann Lewis.
Marc and Astrid Vaccaro constantly reflected on my ideas and the problems our society faces today. They kept reminding me to speak from my heart and share the truth of my experience. Thank you for your unending love and support.
In the writing phase, Todd Wolfenberg, once again, escaped from the world to spend over a year of dictation and rewrites on this book. Jordan Shapiro traveled with me for a month taking dictation on planes and late
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nights in hotels along my east coast lecture tour and conference schedule. Deven Karvelas edited and reviewed many of the ideas I tried so clearly to convey, while Todd and Dana awaited the birth of their son, Maxx. Deven created the chapter summaries and many of the recipes.
My editors were amazing. Writing is a very solitary profession that makes a writer face himself on paper. It is the editor’s job to bring comic relief and clarity when the written words started to blur on the Macintosh. Cathy Dean and Celia Rocks assisted with the beginning stages of this work. PJ Slinger then took charge of pulling this book together with his insightful comments and masterful editing skills. Finally, Elizabeth Place and Lisa Lewis came in for the final edit and transformed this into a great book. Lisa, Elizabeth and PJ have made the editing work an incredible experience of learning and fellowship. Thank you Cathy, Celia, PJ, Elizabeth and Lisa.
I sought special counsel from Luke Ketterhagen (www.hathapower. com), Chad Oler, N.D. and Jon Hinds for their expertise in hatha, nutrition and fitness, respectively. All three I consider leaders in their field and teachers to the masses. Luke continually brings insight and wonder to hatha yoga and teaches advanced training in all the yogic sciences around the country. Dr. Oler lectures around the nation and continues to see patients at the Natural Path Center in Madison, Wisconsin (www.naturalpathhealthcenter.com). Jon Hinds is bringing fitness to corporate America and to people all over the world through his seminars and fitness equipment. You can find Jon at www.jonhinds. com/cnt/ and www.monkeybargym.com. Thank you all.
In searching for better ways to express my thoughts, I dined and debated with David and Betty Holloway. David is a psychiatrist creating new holistic models for mental health care, while Betty continues to use her academic credentials and culinary talent to teach the finest courses in vegetarian cooking. She and Deven Karvelas wrote the recipes in this book. Thank you so much.
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Rick Das Goravani spent several hours in tutoring me in some of the finer concepts of time management according to the science of Jyotish. Thank you Rick for your time and encouragement.
Je Hiser returned to illustrate this second work for me. His artistic flair for realism and precision is seen in every drawing. Thank you Je .
My research team, led by Todd Wolfenberg, included Chelsea Wolfenberg, Jordan Shapiro, and Deven Karvelas. Thank you all for your weekends, evenings, and daylight hours of reading, Googling, and verifying these works. These folks fed me, made the best chai in the world, and challenged me to think bigger than ever before. I feel honored to have such a diligent team that demands something greater than mere excellence from me and from themselves.
Then comes a huge host of supporters, readers, and critics, including Gabe Colton leading the charge for the first critical reading of this text, with the assistance of many, including Bob Mattingly, Jackie Dobrinska, Bernie Rosen, Tammy Mehlberg, Don Ashbaugh, Je Abella, Josh Wolfenberg, Shanon Samuson, Travis Head, Matt and Briana Douzart, Michael Daly of Dublin, Susan Crofton, Varuna Singh, Amala and Andy Heeter, Carrie Demers MD, Donna and Kay Eckstein, Michael Maloney, Ray Purdy MD, Karen Host, Doug Frazer, Whitney Vallier, David Cadwallader, Terri Oswald-Plonske, MD, Ti any Hacker, Kendall Inman, Kelly Ullmer, Nicholas Karvelas, David and Betty Holloway, Luke and Kourtney Ketterhagen, Linda Orton, Bob and Donna Abella, Marc and Astrid Vacarro, Terri Wickman, Ed Mills, Lisa Renard, Jon Hinds and Jessica Rucker, Jane and Dana Marski, and Danielle Ru alo. The list continues with John and Jan Wolfenberg, Monica and Josiah Groth, Lisa Lewis, Kevin Loecher, Sally Lewis, J’Gai and Faraji Starks, Je Starks and my mother, Barbara Lewis. Your generosity came from every direction and in every form. And I needed it all.
