Books on Happiness / the happiness revolution - 2 students

What five phrases or comments guide your decisions and reactions each day? Take a moment and write them down. Do they lead you where you wish to go? If not, re-write them in a manner that will lead you somewhere good. Polish them with precision and kindness. Keep refining them or even rejecting them until you have a foundation that supports you and your loved ones. You can make your notes here:

1________________________________________________

2________________________________________________

3________________________________________________

4 _______________________________________________

5________________________________________________

CONCLUSION

The central core of this book has been clearly revealed in this chapter. I have spoken here with a clear and strong voice that some critics may see as dogmatic and even overpowering. Science is commonly that way. The sun is seen in the east every morning, it is not subject to a democratic vote. Likewise, as our society su ers from a weakened willpower that allows fear and doubt to dominate, yoga responds with clarity and exactness. Yoga science is verified every day through practice. This experiential verification leads you to both victory and validation.

Through the grace of my teachers and my own experience, I am able to share with you techniques that will help anyone who applies them properly. I believe that very few people ever find a valid teacher

CHAPTER SUMMARY

•Contemplation helps you endow your life with clarity and purpose. It will ensure that you gain wisdom and guidance from your life experiences and move forward in a positive direction rather than repeating aimless cycles of events.

•Contemplation is the art of skillfully guiding your internal dialogue in a manner that helps you refl ect on who you are, what you are doing, why you are doing it, how you will do it and what you have learned from your past experiences.

•The subconscious mind needs to be stirred by some stimulus from the conscious mind in order to be activated. Contemplation, with full determination, on positive attributes and ideas will prevent unhelpful tendencies from arising in your mind.

ACTION ITEMS

•If you worship any particular god or concept of divinity, write down the positive attributes your concept of god has and do your best to imitate these.

•Answer the questions on page 257 of this chapter in writing.

•Choose fi ve phrases, quotes, or helpful sayings from this book, or elsewhere, that you feel could help to guide your decisions and reactions on a daily basis.

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Chapter12

Acquiring a Joyful Mind

The Philosophy of Meditation

As a child, whenever I felt sad or had a scary dream, I ran to my parents for comfort. Today I see my adult patients running in much the same way. They run in many di-

rections because they need reassurance on how to cope with their thoughts and feelings. Don’t get me wrong: this is not a bad thing. Seeking help from others is an acceptable reaction and has become mainstream in our culture. In the 21st century we are open about our weaknesses and support groups dot the map. However, it was not always that way.

Let’s leapfrog through a few milestones in psychotherapy. Only a few decades ago, mental health was a forbidden topic. During that era it was quite rare that anyone would ask for help. Some people drowned their unwanted thoughts in alcohol. Some talked about their thoughts with others, gathering opinions on how to react. Some quietly hid them, hoping that no one would notice that they were su ering in silence. It was a time of secrecy and we should all be glad it’s over.

Interestingly, in ancient times, there was a di erent approach. Great saints and sages, appearing at di erent times and in di erent lands, instilled far healthier attitudes about mental health in their respective societies. These wise ones knew that unhappy people can spend so much time dealing with their thoughts and impulses that they have no time for life, love and laughter. Furthermore, they knew the power of the conscience and how to harness it. It was an age of meditation and self-reliance.

Nurturing and reassuring yourself is the methodology taught by the sages. It is the science and philosophy of meditation. It provides you with a safe and systematic way to examine and transform your own thinking patterns. Through meditation, you allow your thoughts to rise up for your inspection and then you organize them and skillfully redirect them. Meditation improves

your ability to function at home, at work and at play. Remember that you are treading the path of health and happiness - everything you do can be transformed into an act of joy and understanding.

Ordinary people have ordinary problems -- and common problems can have common solutions. But special problems require special solutions. Most people go through life being part of the masses, blending in with the crowd rather than standing out. As you start to do a little more to improve your life than the ordinary person does, that small e ort transforms your life from being ordinary to being “extra-ordinary.”

An extraordinary life is lived between two extremes — the mountain of blessings and privileges and the mountain of challenges and

strife. No longer settling for a life of quiet desperation, you vividly experience the fullness that each day brings. You will be able to balance these extremes in your practice of meditation.

Every day, set aside a few moments to maintain your self-selected perspective on how your day and life are progressing. As you initially become more inspired about the possibilities in your life, tiny personal flaws may seem larger than they really are. It is as if the tiniest stains in your mind are given more attention than they deserve. With time and meditation, you will easily understand how to maintain a proper perspective. When I talk with my patients and friends about this perspective, I start with the story of the grape juice stain.

Once upon a time, there was a blanket. It was a favorite blanket and the family found many uses for it. Over the years it became soiled and stained. Never thinking to wash the blanket, the family carried it with them on every outing and occasion. Then, one day, the youngest child spilled a small drop of grape juice on the blanket that years ago had been a brilliant white.

Fate had it that months after this latest spill, the family decided to launder the blanket. This decision caused the parents to look realistically at the blanket’s condition. Mud and grime and interwoven debris kept them from placing the blanket in their new washing machine. Instead, they decided to hose the blanket o in the driveway. The water hose removed the caked mud, but the ground-in leaves and twigs did not stir from the forceful shower. The family next decided to soak the blanket in the bathtub. Quickly the water turned brown. Over and over they rinsed the blanket as the fragments of debris floated to the surface. Finally they decided to try washing the blanket in their new machine. The blanket was washed and dried. Out of the dryer came the flu y white blanket and it appeared almost perfect . . . almost.

When they unfolded the blanket, everyone noticed that the tiny purple stain of grape juice remained. The blanket that used to be com-

pletely filthy and acceptable was no longer welcome because of the glaring presence of the small purple stain among the huge field of white. After weeks of missing his favorite blanket, the young child who had spilled the grape juice pulled the blanket from the closet. He demanded that the blanket become part of family life once again. Hearing his parent’s displeasure at the stain, the boy suggested that they find a stain remover that would help the blanket regain its full glory.

You see, the ordinary wear and tear had been removed by ordinary means. However, the standard cleansing options were not enough to remove the purple stain. In their desire to please their child, the parents had to consult with experts in the textile industry. The expert advice was quickly heeded, yield-

ing a wonderful result. The blanket had regained its purity and its place in the family picnics. Knowing how durable and resilient the blanket was, the family now used it daily — and the child was filled with delight.

This story is really the story of everyone. Like the blanket, we go

everywhere and do everything. Over time, our mind, like the blanket, bears the strains and stains from years of use. It is only when we start to clean up our mind that we eventually discover a glaring stain in our health or personality that was previously hidden among the grayness of our life.

Removing the stains from your mind is the initial goal of meditation. It is possible to gently cleanse the dust and dirt from your mind in a manner similar to how the blanket was treated. In the proper environment, the debris from the past will simply float free. This initial process of cleansing and mending the mind and personality can be

achieved by dietary changes, lifestyle adjustments, exercise and other methods as noted throughout this book. Meditation can also be a part of this initial process, but when the stain in the mind requires expert attention, that is when the combined e orts of meditation, contemplation and psychotherapy

can yield amazing results. This triad of therapy will help you come to know your impulses and interests. However, meditation alone will allow you to observe firsthand the nature of your mind and the nature of your self.

In your practice of meditation, you will discover that there is a distinct di erence between the mind and the self. For simplicity, the mind is composed of three parts: the ego, the memory and the flow of sensory data — including speech, hearing, touch and movement of the limbs. The self is defined as the conscience — that entity that’s known to the poet as the voice of the heart, to the priest as the voice of the soul and to the intellect as the voice of reason. As the voice of the conscience is strengthened and discerned, you realize that your conscience is your true identity. When your mind is quiet, it is the conscience that comes forward. Meditation is the most e ective method of allowing this experience to unfold.

Traditionally, the highest union - the union between mind and conscience - was called yoga. When this union occurs, the mind becomes the servant of the conscience instead of the master. This relationship

– this union -- wields unlimited power as all internal conflicts (doubt, fear, anger, and greed) are quelled. The power of this experience arises from the freedom gained by no longer being a puppet to the whims and wishes of an inconsistent mind. The conscience is the home of wisdom, confidence, compassion and playfulness. You are finally able

to take charge of your life because you have realized that you – the conscience – have always been in charge of your life. You can choose how you react to life events, including your own thoughts and feelings. You can choose what you want to do with your life. You are in charge because you are the only one who can be in charge.

The forging of this union is transformative at every level of your life. It is the first goal of all spiritual practices.

It took a long time for me to truly accept that the impulses in my mind do not have to be obeyed. I had been struggling to make the voice of my conscience louder and it seemed to be a frivolous pursuit. I knew that every time I sat for meditation my mind would try to hurry me through the process. This hurriedness was based in my mind wanting to please the senses by providing for them a constant variety of scenes and sensations. Finally, one day while sitting quietly, I halted this harassment caused by my mind. It was so simple that I laughed out loud to myself. I knew that my thoughts only had the power that I myself provided them. The moment I stopped being afraid of and fascinated with the mind’s huge repertory of images and impulses was the moment my mind became quiet. It was my own fear and fascination empowering these thoughts. Everyone can learn to quiet their mind.

A few years ago I spoke to Panditji about a patient who I feared was canceling his psychotherapy appointments with his counselor. Panditji immediately and powerfully said, “He is a good man. If he is busy trying to be strong on his own, why should he go see that doctor? What is wrong with modern psychology? Why can’t they let people be strong on their own? Just because they have the habit of always wanting people to lean on them, this does not mean your patients have to have this sickness of leaning.” My mind drifted away from Panditji’s voice. I was so embarrassed. In fearing for the welfare of my patient, I had forgotten that there was no reason to be afraid.

This man, like everyone, has the power to no longer be dominated by the impulses of his mind.

Panditji continued. “Let him be strong. He is a strong man; he does not need to lean on others. It is more important for a person to try to stand up and be strong than to never try at all.” In a most quiet voice he said, “If his strength is not sturdy enough, gently guide him back into therapy, but if he is actually announcing to you his graduation from the neediness of outside counselors, then it means that he is becoming more aware of his conscience - the best guide and therapist.”

While I am writing these words based on my own experience, I would never have developed an ability to write without a multitude of English and grammar teachers. Likewise, an external teacher is commonly needed to help one recognize and gain access to the voice of their own conscience. It seems that this solution of self-realization is so close to us that we, ourselves, are blind to it. Studying with Panditji continually removes my own blinders and expands my paradigm about how the world works. From my own study and reflection, I am convinced that the potential of the human psyche is unlimited and untrained.

Through meditation, the field of my own mind became my testing ground for these newfound insights and techniques. My experiments today are as exciting and challenging to me as they were almost 30 years ago. Try being happy on a really bad day. That’s what I did. Every failure and every success was equally fascinating and useful. Sometimes I foolishly challenged a strong, deep-seated habit in my mind and quickly fell from grace. But with a sportsman-like attitude, I gradually learned to confront only the impulses, memories or fears that were well matched to my inner abilities. And game time was 6 a.m. – the time of my morning meditation.

During my meditation I achieved success in the lower ranking ar-