What Is a Conflict ?

• What other words come to your mind when you hear the word conflict?

• What is your definition of conflict?

• How does conflict affect you?

• How do you react to conflict?

Conflicts or disputes often arise when two or more people have different opinions on a subject. Both people think they are right. You accidentally bump into someone in'the half and the person thinks it was on purpose. You argue with your sister or brother. You turn the stereo up too loud for your parents.

• Describe some conflicts that you have had recently.

• How did you and the other person involved handle the conflict?

WA YS TO SETTLE CONFLICT

There are many ways to settle everyday conflicts. Most people settle conflicts on their own without outside help. The people with a conflict talk to each other and work out their problem. Both sides want to settle the dispute. This is the most frequent way people solve conflicts. Sometimes people with a conflict fight. This usually turns out to be a poor way to settle the conflict because, after the fight is over, the conflict or problem is still there. Other times people with a conflict separate so they can cool off. Cooling off keeps the conflict from getting bigger, but it does not solve it. Many times, people who go to cool off return later to talk.

Many times, people with a conflict go to someone else for help. The third person will either solve, the problem directly or help the two people with a conflict talk about their problem and settle their differences. For example, Jeff is playing wilh a video game, He puts it down to help his mother in the kitchen. Beverly, his sister, comes along and starts to play with the same video game. When Jeff returns from the kitchen, he wants the game back. I Ic says that he had it lirst. Jeff and Beverly go to their mother so she can decide who gets the game. The mother can either decide who gets the game or tell Jeff and Beverly to talk it out and come back and tell her their decision. Which way would you prefer?

('ourts can help solve conflicts. When people with a conflict go to court, they agree to let a judge listen to their arguments and make a decision for them. The people with the conflict must follow the decision of the judge. There are sometimes disadvantages of going to court. Going to court can take a long time. It is also costly. Often the person who loses becomes angry and takes that anger out on the person with whom he or she had the conflict.

Task I. SETTLING DISPUTES

Read the following situations. List all the ways that could be used to settle each dispute. Then decide the best method for solving the conflict. Give your reasons.

1. A landlord will not make needed repairs in an apartment because she\he thinks the people who live there caused the damage.

2. A used car stops running after two weeks and the dealer refuses to repair it.

3. There is one television set. One brother wants to watch MTV and the other wants to watch the football game.

4. A married couple wants a divorce. The husband wants the two children to live with him, and the wife wants them to live with her.

5. Jerome invites Pam to the party and pays for flowers, a tuxedo, and a limousine. Pam, who agreed to go, changes her mind and accepts an invitation from Miguel, instead.

Task 2. If you suggested that the people with the conflict talk to each other and work out the problem, you suggested the most frequent way people do solve conflicts. They talk to each other about their problem and try to reach an acceptable solution. While it is not always easy to solve conflicts by talking to the other person, you can learn to solve some conflicts by practising.

	Steps for solving conflicts.
Stepl	Define the problem. Describe the problem. Do not describe the people who are involved.
Step 2	Brainstorm solutions. Think of as many ways to solve the problem as you can.
Step3	Consider what will happen. Think of the pros and cons of each solution.
Step 4	Choose and act on the most workable solution. Choose the solution that seems best. Then act.
Step 5	Try again. If the first solution doesn't work, try another one.

Task 3. Look at the following situations. Use the steps for solving conflicts to settle each dispute.

• Kareem and Mandla share a room. They disagree about how the room should be arranged.

• Rachel accuses Li, who is not well liked, of stealing her money from the locker which they share. Rachel accuses Li loudly while she and Li are in the hall. Li denies taking the money.

• Ken Lopez takes a new $100 sport coat to Ace Dry Cleaners to have it cleaned. Ken had only worn it a few times. When Ken picked it up, he found a large cigarette bum on the collar. Ken says the bum was not there when he took the coat to the cleaner's. Ken also says he does not smoke. Ken asks the cleaner's to pay him $100. Ace says its company is not responsible for the bum. Ace refuses to pay. Ace argues that the coat is used clothing and is no longer worth $100. Ken says he would have to pay at least $100 for a new coat.

• Arnold is a cigarette smoker. He works in an insurance office with glass dividers. The dividers do not reach the ceiling. They are only five feet high. Twenty other employees have similar offices in the area near him. Arnold says he smokes because it is a habit he cannot break. He also says it reduces the stress of his job. Samantha's office is next to Arnold's. Samantha says that smoking is unhealthy for Arnold and for everyone else in the office. Samantha wants Arnold to stop smoking at work.

Task 5. Translate the sentences from Ukrainian into English using the vocabulary of the lesson.

1. Існує декілька шляхів для вирішення повсякденних конфліктів.

2. Суди допомагають вирішити конфлікти.

3. Конфліктуючі сторони повинні виконувати рішення судді.

4. Конфлікти - це складова частина нашого повсякденного життя.

5. Судця заслуховує конфліктуючі сторони та приймає рішення.