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To improve listening

Most of the experts agree that the first step to becoming a better listener is to develop an awareness of the problem. We have tried to accomplish objective thus far in the chapter. The second step to improvement is to develop the desire or motivation to behave differently. The third step is to change, or activate new behaviors.

Ineffective Listening

Before attempting to correct a problem, it is important to identify the specific facets of the problem. Ineffective listening may take any of the forms described below.

Hearing problems is the general term that covers any of the myriad problems that can decrease or eliminate the range of sounds that can be heard. This is especially important when you consider that hearing is the first step in the listening process. Without adequate hearing, there can be no listening whatsoever.

Overload is the problem associated with hearing too much, having to attend to too many stimuli. The result can be stress, withdrawal, or not being able to focus attention.

Rapid thought goes along with the section on "use your spare time." The problem is that the time is "wasted" as the listener allows his mind to wander.

Noise is the general term used to describe anything that interferes with the communication process. With respect to listening, we can identify noise connected with the physical environment, the channel, and the psychological environment (the matters demanding attention that are on the listener's mind).

Inappropriate approaches to listening is the general category for a host of inappropriate listening behaviors. The most inappropriate is "ambush listening." This is listening for the little piece of information that can be used as the basis for an attack on the speaker. "Insensitive listening" is accepting the speaker's words at face value and not taking into account all the things that affect meaning. "Dan Akroyd listening" is listening only for the facts. "Touchy feely listening" is listening only for the emotions. "Pseudolistening" is pretending to listen (which many of us were taught—to be polite and act as if we are paying attention even if we aren't).

Ashenbrenner and Snalling (1988) have identified some additional barriers to effective listening.

Judgment: The tendency to evaluate what we hear—often before we have heard it completely.

Preoccupation: Our own concerns become more important than listening to another. We believe that what we are thinking is more important than what the other is saying.

Pseudolistening: We pretend to listen. All our body language says we are attentive, but our thoughts wander elsewhere.

Semantics: Meanings unique to a particular field create misunderstandings when applied outside of its relevance. People are also hesitant to ask another to repeat or clarify.

Excessive talking: We prefer to talk rather than listen to another. We listen for pauses, so we can interject, believing that what we have to say is more important.

Fear: Sometimes we tune out because we are afraid of what the other will say. (pp. 40-41)

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