La Belle Monique

You can see ….. movie titles now: 'Passion and Pursuit on the Motorway', 'Jealousy of the Long Distance Lorry Driver'; or, as one French paper had it, 'Rodeo on the Autoroute'. In ….. terrifying but farcical scenario, two lorry drivers fought ….. motorway duel in their 38-ton vehicles over ….. course of more than 60 miles in ….. Auvergne, south-west France: ….. furious chase at 80mph which ended with one man in ….. hospital, ….. other in ….. jail and blood all over ….. road. ….. cause? La belle Monique, ….. wife of …..driver number 1, who was riding in ….. cab of driver number 2.

….. story began with Joel Andre, 31, and apparently well known as ….. tough guy, leaving ….. home in Clermont-Ferrand early in ….. morning and driving peacefully towards Saint Etienne. Observing all ….. rules of ….. road, he was keeping well to ….. right when he saw ….. driver of ….. lorry behind pull out to overtake him. When it drew level, Joel glanced into ….. cabin and saw, to his stupefaction, his wife Monique, whom he imagined safe at home in ….. bed, sitting next to ….. driver, who turned out to be Patrick Monron, 47.

Monique paled, Joel turned purple with rage and put his foot down, while his horrified rival tried desperately to escape. First on ….. motorway, then on ….. Route Nationale, they engaged in ….. mad and dangerous chase through the Puy-de-Dome, across ….. Upper Loire and then ….. Loire itself, passing and repassing each other and forcing other motorists off ….. road until they finally crashed into each other. That was not ….. end.

….. knights of ….. road climbed out and continued ….. battle with what weapons they could find - ….. crowbar and ….. handle of ….. axe. It was ….. bloody struggle: one duellist (Patrick) had his arm cut to shreds and ….. other had deep head wounds. Honour still unsatisfied, they got back into their lorries and were off again, this time trying to edge each other into ….. deep ravine that fell away at one side of ….. road. But Patrick, the adulterer, had lost so much blood that he passed out, and Monique, who had stayed in his cab all ….. time, had to take ….. wheel. She managed to stop ….. truck and call ….. police, ….. fire brigade and ….. ambulance. Yesterday Patrick was in ….. hospital and Joel in ….. prison. ….. history does not record whether Monique is at ….. bedside or ….. bars.

….. film rights are presumably still available.

The Daily Telegraph (BrE)

An English Lesson

I sat on ….. English lesson at ….. Gamal Abdel Nasser Secondary School. ….. Scottish instructor - one of ….. three Britons employed in ….. Yemeni school system - was drilling ….. class 5 in ….. difference between ….. 'present simple' and ….. 'present continuous'. There were twenty very thin, very eager boys aged between about fourteen and twenty-two. They were ….. part of that tiny educated leaven in ….. country which has ….. illiteracy rate of ninety per cent, and they had tense, ambitious faces. They had been trained to compete continually against each other, so that ….. lesson turned into ….. kind of ….. noisy greyhound race. ….. moment that ….. instructor was half-way through ….. question, his voice was drowned by shouts of 'Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!' and I lost ….. sight of him behind ….. thicket of urgently raised hands. If ….. student began to stumble over ….. answer, ….. others fought to grab ….. question for themselves, bellowing for ….. Teacher's attention. I once taught for ….. term at ….. comprehensive school in England: had ….. children in my class ever shown ….. small fraction of ….. enthusiasm displayed by these Yemeni students, I might have stayed in ….. job ….. great deal longer. They were ravenous for ….. good marks and certificates which would take them out of their villages and tenements, and they behaved as if every minute spent in ….. classroom could make or break them.

Arabia Through the Looking Glass by Jonathan Raban (BrE)

Minty

Minty knew ….. moment that he got up in ….. morning that this was one of his days. He sang gently to himself as he shaved. This is ….. way that Minty goes, Minty goes, Minty goes.' Although he had ….. new blade he did not cut himself once; he shaved cautiously rather than closely, while ….. pot of coffee, which his landlady had brought him, grew cold on ….. washstand. Minty liked his coffee cold; his stomach would bear nothing hot. ….. spider watched him under his tooth glass; it had been there five days; he had expected his landlady to clear it away, but it had remained ….. second day, …. third day. He cleaned his teeth under ….. tap. Now she must believe that he kept it there for ….. study. He wondered how long it would live. He watched it and it watched him back with ….. shaggy patience. It had lost ….. leg when he put ….. glass over it.

Above his bed was ….. house-group, rows of boys blinking against ….. sun above and below ….. seated figures of ….. prefects, ….. central figure of ….. housemaster and his wife. It was curious to observe how ….. moustache by being waxed at ….. tips could date ….. man as accurately as ….. woman's dress, ….. white blouse, ….. whalebone collar, ….. puffed sleeves. Occasionally Minty was called on to identify himself; practice had made him perfect; there had been ….. time of hesitation when he could not decide whether Patterson seated on ….. housemaster's left or Tester standing rather more obscurely behind, his jaw hidden by ….. puffed sleeve, best acted as his proxy. For Minty himself did not appear; he had seen ….. photograph taken from ….. sickroom window, ….. blaze of light, ….. blinking blackened faces, ….. photographer diving beneath his shade.

This is ….. way that Minty goes.' He picked ….. stump of cigarette from ….. soap-tray and lit it. Then he studied his hair in ….. mirror of the wardrobe door; this was one of his days; he must be prepared for anything, even ….. society.

England Made Me by Graham Greene (BrE)