I started to protest, but was interrupted by the phone. Danny picked it up, then handed it to me. It was Ranson.

“She got out of surgery about an hour ago. They were successful in removing the bullet, but she hasn’t regained consciousness yet,” Ranson paused, she sounded tired. “They don’t know if she will. The doctors are guarded about her chances of recovery. She’s listed as critical and is in ICU at Charity. But there is some good news,” Ranson continued. “We found the notebook you hid in the copy machine. It contains dates, routes, and meeting places for deliveries. This information is going to disrupt the drug trade for a while. We’re hoping for a few good busts before they figure out we know where they’re going to be.”

“Yeah, well, I’m glad that Barbara Selby’s life helped raise the price of cocaine in this part of the country,” I replied. I think Sergeant Ranson and I disagreed as to what was good. We’d given the drug boys a bruise in the bank account. That wasn’t worth Barbara in a coma that she might never come out of.

“Look, Micky, I know…” Ranson started.

“No, you don’t,” I countered. “You didn’t see her lying in that swamp. If I need professional sympathy, I’ll go find a whore.” I had been hoping, praying even, that Barbara would be all right. That whatever mistakes I had made, they hadn’t been permanent ones.

“Okay, Micky, get some sleep,” Ranson answered and she hung up. She had been holding her temper, but not by much. I caught Danny and Elly exchanging a look. Danny got out a bottle of brandy and poured three glasses. She handed the fullest one to me. I didn’t say anything, just started drinking it. She and Elly sipped theirs.

Good impression, Micky. You cursed out a highly decorated detective sergeant in front of an assistant D.A. and her lover, whom you just met this evening.

“Get some sleep, Mick,” Danny said. “You always get real grumpy when you’re tired.”

I finished my brandy. Danny gently pushed on my shoulder so that I lay down. Then she tucked me in and kissed me on the forehead. Elly bent over and did the same.

“Good night,” she said. They turned out the lights and went into their room. I heard the low murmur of their voices, then the light under the doorway flicked off.

I lay very still, feeling the ache in my bones and the warmth from the brandy ebbing in separate currents through my body. I didn’t know I was crying until I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I hoped Danny and Elly were asleep; I didn’t want them to know I was crying.

I wasn’t even sure why, for a lot of reasons, probably. Some basically self-centered, like I hurt and the last few days had been hard. Because I should have saved Barbara Selby and I didn’t. Because Danny and Elly were together on the other side of the bedroom door and I was in the living room by myself. Because somewhere I had made the choice to be by myself in the living room and I couldn’t make that choice go away now, no matter how much I wanted to. Because what happened wasn’t Ranson’s fault, but I had taken it out on her. Because…the list seemed to go on and on.

I woke to the stiffest muscles I’ve ever had. Danny and Elly were in the kitchen. I could hear their lowered voices.

“Good morning,” Danny said, as she looked out the kitchen door and found I had my eyes open. “Why don’t you stay in bed?” she said as I gingerly swung my legs out of bed.

“Places to go, people to see,” I said, shaking myself awake.

“It would be a good idea for you to take it easy,” Elly chimed in from the kitchen door.

“Just where are you jaunting off to so early in the day?” Danny asked in her best D.A. voice.

“The police station and the hospital, ma’am. Nothing sinister, I assure you.”

“All right, but promise me, no white-knighting after the bad guys,” Danny said.

“Promise.” At least for today, I added to myself.

“In that case, you can help yourself to my closet. There’s a pair of black pants that I haven’t hemmed yet that should fit you.”

“Coffee’s already made and waiting if you want some, if not I’ll turn it off,” Elly said. “We’re on our way out the door.”

She handed me a set of spare keys and told me to let myself out whenever I wanted to and repeated the suggestion that I take it easy. Then Danny and Elly were gone. I poured myself a large cup of coffee in hopes of getting my body jump-started. Then I rummaged in the closet until I found the pants Danny had mentioned and an oversized gray cotton sweater to go with them. That way I would only have to borrow underwear and not a bra, too. I found a pair of panties that I knew to be old (I had given them to Danny) and put them on. After I finished dressing, I ate an apple, so when Danny asked, as I knew she would, I could tell her I had eaten breakfast. Then I took three dollars out of her change pile for bus fare. I left a note to that effect.