Two coats

The ship arrived at the port of London and the people aboard were waiting to get off. A very rich woman was talking to a man standing close to her. She had two expensive fur coats. She had bought them in Paris when she called at one of the best department stores.

It was a cold day and the woman was wearing one of her coats and had the other over her arm.

“If you take two coats like these into the country,” said the man, “you’ll have to pay a big duty on them. I know the customs officer always lets anyone take only one coat duty free but not two!”

The rich woman walked away to the other side of the ship. She was very upset. There she saw a woman she knew. She took her to a quiet part of the ship. “Will you do me a favor?” asked the rich woman quietly. “I have got two expensive fur coats. But I mustn’t take two into England. Everyone may take only one, and you haven’t got a fur coat, have you?” “No,” said the woman. She was not rich and couldn’t buy expensive things.

“Good. Will you put this coat on? Then it will look like yours.”

The other woman put the coat on. She liked it. It was very beautiful and looked fine on her. She had never had a coat like that in her life. “Remember!” said the rich woman. “Don’t tell anyone about the coat and don’t look at me. Just get off the ship. Then when we are on the train you can give it back to me.”

The two women got off the ship and went through the customs quite all right. When everyone got on the train it started on its way to London. The rich woman found the other one and said, “Thank you very much. You have been very kind. Now you can give me back my coat.”

“Your coat?” asked the other. “This is my coat, and I am not going to give it to you or anyone else.”

What could the rich woman do?

TASKS

Task 1. Answer the following questions.

1. Where did the ship arrive at?

2. What kind of coats had the woman bought in Paris?

3. Had she packed the coats in the suitcase?

4. What were the customs regulations in respect of coats like these?

5. What did she ask a woman she knew about?

6. When was she planning to get her coat back?

7. Had the other woman ever had a coat like that in her life?

8. Where did the rich woman find her acquaintance?

9. Did the latter give back the coat to the rich woman?

Task 2. You are given four English proverbs. Choose the one that expresses the main idea of the story in the best way.

1. Birds of a feather flock together

2. A friend in need is a friend indeed

3. Look before you leap

4. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Task 3. Comment on the situation from the point of view of:

• the rich woman;

• the poor woman;

• the gentleman on board the ship.

In the driving seat

When it comes to dealing with Customs officers, anywhere in the world, the Golden Rule has got to be: You can’t beat a professional at his game.

Case in point. Returning to New York City from a trip to Europe, a well-dressed, middle-aged woman on line in front of me put two bags on the counter and said. “Nothing to declare, officer.”

The inspector checked her passport and asked. “Where are you coming from?”

“Paris,” she told him.

He nodded. “No alcohol? No tobacco? No dairy products or meat? Have you bought anything for yourself or are you bringing any gifts?”

“No,” she insisted. “None of those things. Nothing to declare.”

“Okay.” He pointed to her smaller case. “Would you open that one for me, please.”

Now she started tst-tsking. “Officer, I know you’re never going to believe me, but this morning when I was packing to leave the hotel I closed my bags not realizing that I’d locked the keys inside. How silly of me. I’m sure it’s going to be a big problem when I get home because I’ll have to find a locksmith…”

The Customs official wasn’t in the least amazed. “Not to worry.” He reached into a drawer and pulled out a huge steel ring with no less than six million keys dangling from it. “I’m sure we can help.”

That’s when the woman remembered the Dior dress and the Armani shoes and the Gucci purse and the Bruno Magli boots and the Valentino sweater and the Piaget watch.

Some time ago Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones was returning to London from a trip to the States. Just before he left, a friend in another band asked him to deliver a package to his wife. Naively, Wyman tossed it into his suitcase. At Heathrow, specially trained dogs surveyed the incoming luggage, got to Wyman’s and went absolutely wild. Customs pounced. Realizing that he’d been set up, Wyman tried to explain that a friend had given him a package and that he honestly didn’t have any idea what was in it. Sure, the officers said, we’ve heard that one before. They gladfully seized the offending contraband, ripped it open, and discovered six bags of epicurean dog food.

So, well, yes, maybe you can win sometimes.

But don’t bet on it.

Now, whereas no one at U.S. Customs will admit it too loudly in public, the truth is that they’re not out to hassle the average couple who admit to bringing back a few dollars over their limit. What they’re basically looking for these days is drugs. Not that half-a-million dollars’ worth of semiprecious stones will go unnoticed. But the average traveler has very little to worry about – that is, as long as he plays by the rules. Customs inspectors are supposed to be as helpful as possible while trying to enforce the law under what have obviously become extremely difficult conditions. That’s why there are certain things you must never say to a Customs inspector. Among them are:

1. Where have I just come from? Nine years in Turkish prison. Ha, ha, just joking!

2. I always wear seven watches.

TASKS

Task 1. Answer the questions.

1. What Golden Rule is mentioned in the text?

2. Where did a woman arrive from?

3. Why didn’t she want to open her suitcase?

4. How did the Customs officer suggest helping her?

5. What did she immediately remember?

6. Who asked Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones to deliver a package?

7. Did he get information about what was inside?

8. What happened in Heathrow?

9. What did the Customs inspector find in the package?

10. Why can’t you beat a professional at his own game?

Task 2. Say what you can remember about:

1. the incident with a woman returning from Paris;

2. the case with Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones.

Task 3. The idiom “In the Driving Seat” means to control what happens. Translate the idioms.

1. in the hot seat

2. a head of the game

3. hand in glove

4. from scratch

Task 4. Answer the following questions.

1. What must the passenger do when going through the Customs?

2. What can be brought in/taken out duty free?

3. What things are dutiable? Why?

4. What prohibited and restricted goods do you know?