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A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.

The next day, the police came to the farm to question the man.

"So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

Politics have no relation to morals. Niccolo Machiavelli

The Whole Truth? "The reason it's always so difficult for this president to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it's usually three different stories."

Elementary, mr president

One day George Bush is going to give a speech at an Elementary School. He asks the teacher what the children are studying and she replies that they are learning about Greek Tragedies. So the President decides to talk about Tragedies.

He asks a student, "What would you consider to be a tragedy?"

The kid thinks for awhile and then says, "If a boy is running after a ball into a street and gets run over by a car and dies."

Bush responds, "No, I don't think that's a tragedy... that's an accident." Then Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.

The kid says, "If a bus full of kids drives over a cliff and they all die."

This time Bush says, "I don't think that's a tragedy... I think that's a great loss." So again Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.

The kid responds, "If you and Dick Cheney are on Air Force One and it crashes."

"Right!" says Bush to the kid. "That would be a tragedy... how did you ever know that?"

Quickly, the kid replies, «Because I know it's not an accident and I know it's not a great loss."

Switching sides

A life long supporter of the Labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"

The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

A POLITICIAN LEAVING POLITICS

Funny Quotations  Politicians, like underwear, should be changed often, and for the same reasons. There are two sides to every issue, and a politician usually takes both. An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought. Simon Cameron Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. John Kenneth Galbraith Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. Winston Churchill

ON WOMEN IN POLITICS…

I consider women who are authors, lawyers and politicians are monsters.

Pierre-Auguste Renoir

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics, whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

Margaret Thatcher