Self Esteem
The uncluttered worksheets in The Powerhouse provide a useful template to spark a childs imagination. The sections for pupil evaluations will help develop the skills of self-reflection: a necessary indicator of emotional intelligence. It is a good introduction to emotional literacy and a welcome addition to primary staffroom resources' - "Mark Edwards, Times Educational Supplement
"This copiable resource, developed from the work of Elizabeth Morris, Principal of the School of Emotional Literacy, is an
essential addition to primary school resources on self-esteem.
Designed as a teaching aid for the PSHE curriculum, the sections are graded from 5 to 7 years to 9 to 11 years, following the topics:
" All about me
" Me and my world
" You and me
" My dreams and wishes
" My daily dilemmas.
Each section contains teacher notes and photocopiable pupil activity worksheets.
The resource helps schools develop the emotional literacy of young people and can be linked to other curriculum topics.
Guindon (2002) asked school counsellors to list five characteristics that best describe students with low self-esteem. Over 1000 words were used and the most common are listed below:
Withdrawn/shy/quiet
Insecure
Underachieving
Negative (attitude)
Unhappy
Socially inept
Angry/hostile
Unmotivated
Depressed
Dependent/follower
Poor self-image
Non-risk-taker
Lacks elf-confidence
Poor communication
Acts out
Parents worry about a lot of things. They want to make sure that their children get the best medical care, nutrition and education. But one important life skill that is often overlooked, is building up a child’s self-esteem.
Self-esteem does not mean putting yourself up on a pedestal and putting down others, but rather it is a healthy liking of oneself and the desire to try new things with the belief that goals can be achieved. In addition, it means understanding your place in the world and having confidence in your future.
Self-esteem is not something you are born with. It is learned through interactions with family and important figures. It develops differently in each stage of life. The following are some ways to help foster self-esteem in different age groups.
Babies
Babies need lots of love and attention. They need to know that when they cry someone will comfort and take care of their needs. They also need lots of smiles and reassurances that they are important in this world.
Toddlers
Toddlers need opportunities to explore things for themselves. They are still learning that they are a separate being and are working to make connections with the world around them. Much of their self-esteem is based on their perception of how their parents see them. If they are constantly told they are a nuisance, they will begin to think that they are of no worth. On the other hand, if they are told they are important and loved, they will develop a healthy self-esteem.
Preschoolers
Usually by this age children realize that their minds and bodies are their own. If they have developed self-esteem in earlier years they will be ready to spend time away from parents because they have an inner sense of who they are. At this age, their self-esteem is more physical–who can run fastest or is the tallest.
Primary School Years
During the early school years, children are making lots of adjustments. Their sense of self-worth will start to be determined by how they do at school or in a sport and will also be largely impacted by friends. Children who are bullied or feel they have no friends will have lower self-esteem.
Adolescence
Friends also play an important role in this stage of life. That is why teenagers love to be attached to their phone so that they can know exactly what their friends are doing. Youth who have a goal and support from family tend to have higher self-esteem.
There are many things that parents and caregivers can do to help foster self-esteem at any age. When children are young, they need lots of love and smiles. As they get older, they need to feel respected. It is important for parents to encourage friendships and help their children to achieve their goals.
Helping your child build self-esteem
Building self esteem in children is an ongoing process and starts early. As parents we don’t always get it right, but as long as you can remember to praise, listen and enforce boundaries in a positive way this will hopefully ensure that your child knows your door will always be open and that you will never withdraw your love and support.
You can help to build your child’s self esteem by letting them know how well they have done and how proud you are of them. Don’t just say this, use descriptive words to ensure that they understand why you are pleased. Even though they might feel embarrassed talking to you they need to know that you are there to listen and support, not judge them for feeling the way they do at times.
Tips for helping build self-esteem
When things don’t go according to plan, talk the situation through and try to stay calm.
If you feel your child is struggling with the way they look or feel acknowledge their feelings and ensure that your child feels listened to as their feelings will be very real.
Pick your moment carefully as having a one to one chat might be a little forceful. Try not to make things too intense to begin with.
Self-esteem should be viewed as a continuum, and can be high, medium or low, and is often quantified as a number in empirical research.
W
hen
considering self-esteem it is important to note that both high and
low levels can be emotionally and socially harmful for the
individual. Indeed it is thought an optimum level of self-esteem lies
in the middle of the continuum. Individuals operating within this
range are thought to be more socially dominant within relationships.
Empirical Research
Research has shown key differences between individuals with high and low self-esteem. For example, people with high self-esteem focus on growth and improvement, whereas people with low self-esteem focus on not making mistakes in life.
Low Self-Esteem in Children
It should be noted that on average self-esteem during childhood is found to be relatively high. However, there are individual differences and some children are unfortunate to experience feelings of low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem in children tends to be related to physical punishment and withholding of love and affection by parents. Children with low self-esteem rely on coping strategies that are counterproductive such as bullying, quitting, cheating, avoiding etc. Although all children will display some of these behaviors at times, low self-esteem is strongly indicated when these behaviors appear with regularity.
Socially children with low self-esteem can be withdrawn or shy, and find it difficult to have fun. Although they may have a wide circle of friends they are more likely to yield to group pressure and more vulnerable to being bullied. At school they avoid trying new things (for fear of failure) and will give up easilyLow Self-Esteem in Teenagers
Self-esteem continues to decline during adolescence (particularly for girls). Researchers have explained this decline to body image and other problems associated with puberty.
Although boys and girls report similar levels of self-esteem during childhood, a gender gap emerges by adolescence, in that adolescent boys have higher self-esteem than adolescent girls (Robins et al., 2002).
Girls with low self-esteem appear to be more vulnerable to perceptions of the ideal body image perpetuated in western media (through methods such as airbrushing models on magazine covers.
Nathaniel Branden