Is likely to keep good records, have important papers neatly filed, dislike clutter in

the home, and so forth. A person with a low need for order doesn’t seem to mind

a certain amount of disorganization in the immediate environment. Neatness does

not have a high priority.

Fourth, the need for affiliation is a motive to associate with others. A person

with a high need for affiliation is likely to have a lot of friends, socialize frequently,

and dislike being alone. A person with a low need for affiliation will

have a few carefully selected friends, not be attracted to parties, and seek time

alone.

Fifth, the need for dominance is a motive to control the behavior of others.

A person with a high need for dominance will seek positions of authority in the

workplace or to be the principal decision maker in a marriage. A person with a low

need for dominance will tend to be somewhat submissive and often overly agreeable.

Sixth, the need for exhibition is a motive to be noticed by others. A person

with a high need for exhibition is likely to talk loudly, dress in novel ways, or

otherwise call attention to himself or herself. A person with a low need for exhibition

Is likely to be somewhat retiring and conforming when relating to others.

Seventh, the need for aggression is a motive to engage in conflict or to hurt

others. A person with a high need for aggression may inflict physical harm on

others by hitting, cutting, or shooting. However the need for aggression can also

be expressed in psychological terms. A person with a high need for aggression is

likely to be insulting and to make demeaning remarks. A person with a low need

for aggression is likely to avoid conflict whenever possible and to avoid hurting the

feelings of others.

There are other acquired motives. The list above is representative, not

exhaustive.

Although the acquired motives were presented in terms of high and low needs,

many people, perhaps most, do not manifest the extremes. It is possible to have a

moderate need for achievement, a moderate need for autonomy, and so forth.

Unconscious Motives: Hidden Reasons for Our Behavior

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, believed that motives can be

unconscious. Unconscious motives may operate outside of the control of the

ego, the “I” of the personality. Freud asserted that there is a force in the mind

called repression. Repression is an ego defense mechanism characterized by an

involuntary tendency to shove mental information that threatens the integrity

and stability of the ego down to an unconscious psychological domain.

If Freud is correct, the reasons for human behavior are often obscure to the

individual. People act on impulse, do things they regret, and often muddle

through life. Some individuals appear to have only the murkiest of notions why

they make certain choices and take certain turns in life. Freud’s way of looking at

human motivation is particularly useful when one is trying to explain why people

do self-defeating things.

The two kinds of motives that tend to be repressed are forbidden sexual desires

and forbidden aggressive urges. Note the importance of the word forbidden. A

desire for sex with one’s spouse would not qualify as a forbidden sexual desire.

However, if Conrad, a married man, desires sex with his wife’s sister, then this is

likely to violate his moral code and to become repressed. Conrad finds himself, for

example, becoming hostile to his wife’s sister. He tells his wife that he doesn’t like

her sister and wishes she wouldn’t visit so often. His wife can’t understand why he

has so much animosity toward her sister.

The explanation for the animosity lies in an ego defense mechanism called

reaction formation. A reaction formation reinforces the repression.

By acting hostile toward a woman he is attracted to, the husband keeps her

at a distance, alienates her, and protects himself against his repressed sexual desire.

The behavior is, of course, self-defeating because he is undermining the quality of

his relationship with his wife and a relative.

One of the problems with unconscious motives is that they may lead to acting

out, behavior in which the unconscious motives gain temporary ascendancy

over the defense mechanism of repression. For example, Conrad has had one

drink too many at a New Year’s Eve party. He finds himself kissing or touching

his wife’s sister in an inappropriate way. She is furious, tells Conrad’s wife, and

Conrad’s marriage is threatened. The next day, sober, he says he can’t understand

“what took possession of me.”

Here is an example of how a forbidden aggressive urge can cause a problem in

living. Linette, a mother of three children and a full-time homemaker, is married

to Eric, an insurance broker. Eric is an authoritarian husband. He is demanding

and controlling and has very little regard for Linette’s feelings. She feels taken for

granted. In terms of her religious tradition and her concept of how a good wife

should behave, she does not allow herself the luxury of hostile feelings toward Eric

at a conscious level. Her frustrations induce her to feel aggressive toward Eric, but

her code of conduct is such that she needs to repress her wish to give him a piece

of her mind or refuse to be the sweet person she usually tries to be. The repressed

hostility takes its toll. She suffers from a moderate, chronic depression. When she