6 You're over-extended

Is your life crammed so full, you see-saw between stress and collapsing on the sofa? Solution: Trying to juggle, a high-pressure job, the gym and a non-stop social life is likely to pull anyone inside out. So try some time-management. For example, at work negotiate an early finish once a week in return for an early start. Think about the things that really make you hap­py, and eliminate the rest. This should give you a lifestyle you've got time to enjoy.

Schmooze your way to success

Donna, 26, is always first to arrive at the office every morning. She rarely takes a lunch hour and has been spotted festering the security guards to let her in at the weekend. Yet Donna hasn't been promoted in three years.. Her colleague Amelia, on the other, hand, arrives on time and waltzes out at 6pm. She takes every opportunity to lunch with her boss, and while Donna is stuck at her desk, Amelia sparkles at company drinks parties. Amelia is head of her division.

Long hours at the computer don't necessarily guarantee long-term success, at work. "Smart movers don't trudge to the top at a lame snail's pace, with Brownie points for sterling service and punctuality," says independent careers counsellor Helen Beller. "They know a well-placed word at the right social moment is worth a thousand late-night takeaways eaten alone at their desk."

Cosmo careers agony aunt Jo Ellen Grzyb agrees. "Many of us pass up the chance to use work-related social occasions to promote ourselves," she says. "We worry people will think we're insincere. But we're all in the same boat at work functions - even your boss is likely to be wondering who to speak to and what to say. People who can play the party scene have a great chance to boost their prospects overnight - or over lunch."

All very well for the confident, self-assured type, you may think. But, what if your boss has the capacity to reduce you to a shrinking violet with just one glance? According to Susan Croft of Aziz Spoken Communications Consultancy, shy workers can actually be more skilled at party politics than their more brazen sisters.

"Many of us envy chatty friends in the belief that a talent for making con­versation at parties is born, not made," she says. "But self-taught networkers may be more talented than their natu­rally sociable colleagues. People who are inherently good at parties may be too busy enjoying themselves to think about improving or honing their skills."

Professor Cary Cooper, of the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology, has a proven shyness busting tip. His research shows the higher up an organisation a person is, the more relieved they'll be you've made contact. "People at the top of a company can feel isolated and awkward about mingling," he says, "Amazingly, studies show bass­es are often insecure — that's what drove them to be a success in the first place — and are nearly always relieved when someone else makes the first move at office functions."

Of course, truly successful social movers never confuse a work party with a night out. So they don't drink too much, hoover up the canapes like a starving anteater or regard the event as a chance to meet a man. Instead, they know different occasions call for different approaches and plan their tactics accordingly.