Parental Relationships – a Guide for Incoming Freshmen

By Josh Mlot, Sophomore, Miami University

The time is approaching when new freshmen will be entering college. For some people, that means leaving home for the first time ever. I know that for me, getting away from home and the lack of parental control was a big factor in choosing where I’d go to school. Getting far away from home isn’t for everyone though.

No matter where you end up going to college, the relationship you have with your parents will most likely change and evolve. Even if you’ve been waiting years to live under a different roof than your parents, remember there are many issues involved with moving away from home. Everyone’s experience is a little different – some people become very homesick, while others love freedom from the very first moment.

Having to cope with life on your own will not only make you learn more about yourself, but may also make you realize how much your parents have done for you throughout your life, especially when many parents are the ones footing the bill for their child’s college education. After having to hunt down a meal on your own, clean up after yourself, pay your own bills, do the dreaded laundry and conquer life’s crises on your own, you’ll be reminded of how convenient it was to always have a parent there to help and tell you everything would be okay. Not only will these experiences result in a newly found appreciation of your parents, who previously seemed overbearing, but they will also cause you to learn more about yourself.

As cliché as it sounds, college is the time when you discover many things about who you were, who you are, and who you want to be. Part of it is because our parents aren’t always there to bail us out when we find ourselves in deep trouble. It’s amazing how much we learn when forced to do things on our own. All of this boils down to a growing respect for ourselves and for our parents. As we begin to take ourselves more seriously, so does everyone else.

The most common change in parental relationships between new college students and their parents is a greater amount of respect exhibited by each side for the other. Our parents see us as more mature individuals with something to contribute to the world, and we see our parents less as tyrannical dictators and more as fellow human beings.

Jonathan Saphire, a Miami University junior, says, “They expect more and limit me less. I have seen more of the human side of them. They still find things to get angry about, but they respect me more, and get along better.”

Not everyone will have the same experiences when they go to college, but many times people find that respect increases in their relationship with their parents. This is important as families learn to no longer interact on a parent-to-child basis, but on an adult-to-adult level.

I. Find the English equivalents in the text. Provide their contextual frame.

Как ни банально это звучит; выручать из беды; недостаток родительского контроля; на протяжении всей жизни; вынуждены все делать самостоятельно; зрелая личность; развиваться; уважение, проявляемое каждой из сторон; обращаться как взрослый с взрослым; внести свой вклад в мировое сообщество; в одиночку справляться с жизненными трудностями; все это сводиться к… .

II. Explain the meaning of the given idioms. Recall the episodes with them.

To foot the bill; to bail smb. out; to end up doing smth.; to hunt down a meal; to be a big factor in.

III. Answer the questions.

1. What experience do freshmen get when they start to live on their own? 2. What do they begin to realize it’s bad when parents aren’t there?

3. What many things do we discover when at college?

4. When does real appreciation of parents come?

5. When does a change in parental attitude occur?

SCHOOL AND COLLEGE VOCABULARY

I. Learn the words and discuss the problem.

What makes a good teacher:

- to gain the affection of students – получить расположение студентов

- to find way with students – найти подход к студентам

- to assert teacher’s authority – установить авторитет

- good teacher-student interaction - взаимодействие

- to involve into an animated class discussion – вовлечь в оживленную беседу

- to have a contagious enthusiasm for teaching – иметь заразительный энтузиазм

- to engage somebody’s mind – занимать кого-либо

- to add pace and humour to the class – добавить ритмичность и юмор

- to capitalize on every second – извлекать выгоду из каждой секунды

- to speak in the target language – говорить на преподаваемом языке

- to learn the ropes – знать все ходы и выходы

- to highlight important points – выделять главные моменты

-to be conversant with smth. – быть хорошо знакомым с чем-то.

What makes a bad teacher:

- to lose track of time – терять чувство времени

- the interest flags – интерес спадает

- to lack the teaching skills – не доставать навыков преподавания

- to rob the initiative - лишать инициативы

- to teach subjects miserably - преподавать предметы скудно

- to rely on / to stick to / to hang on to decades-old lesson plans – придерживать старых планов

- to stifle one’s creativity – подавлять творчество

- students play truant / skip – прогуливать