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Set Work

I. Think of the best English variant to say:

Выгораживать обидчика; управлять учителем; раскрыть карты; дрессировщик; фокусник; хищник; держать в узде; бунт; подыгрывать кому-либо; обруч; проявить норов; «не высовываться»; украдкой; в квадрате; неуспеваемость; амплуа; отсутствующий взгляд; массовик-затейник; обидчивый; заигрывать; аномалия; голословный; заискивать.

II. Points for discussion.

  1. Is the author serious about the given classification?

  2. Is there a grain of truth in the article?

  3. Have you ever come across the described teacher types? Which of them is the worst?

  4. How would you categorize all teacher types?

  5. Is it worth knowing how to manipulate a teacher? Have you ever resorted to such a manipulation?

Funny moments for teachers

YOUNG LOVE

I was in charge of a group of stu­dents aged six to seven years old. Martin was a sweet blonde boy who every afternoon went to the bus stop with me. When I took the bus, he said goodbye and left. In class he was gentle and a good student, of course. He went for chalks, he looked for a new duster; whatever I need he was always ready to help. One afternoon, we were both walking to the bus stop as usual (he was carrying my books) and I asked him why he didn't go home to have tea or just to play with his friends and he replied: "If granny is not wrong I am falling in love with you". My God!!!!!!! I didn't know what to say but words came out of my mouth and nervously talked to him about the day I met my husband and how nice it was to be in love. Fortunately the bus came and I had to go. We went on going together to the bus stop but we never mentioned the word "love" again. But three weeks after that, we were going out of school when I left him just out of the door because my husband was there waiting for me. The following class he brought the chalks and the duster as usual, but before going to his seat he asked me “Miss Annie: Is that tall man more good-looking than me?”

I FELL IN LOVE WITH THAT LITTLE ВОY AT ONCE! and I will never forget him.

Ana Jacobi

CHEATING

In one of my first teaching jobs, I taught at a school in the South of France as an assistant teacher, try­ing to motivate young pupils and en­courage them to speak. After a few weeks, I tried a role play game, which involved the students buying and sell­ing products from each other, trying to make the most money. I had pre­pared pretend money, things to sell, and they were really enjoying it until one of them decided that another boy was cheating. "Tricheur", he said, and they got into an argument in French. After sorting out the problem, I taught the class a new word, “Cheat”, which they repeated and wrote down in their vocabulary books. The fol­lowing week, a horrified English teacher asked me not to teach the class swear words. I had no idea what she was talking about until she ex­plained that after she caught one of the girls copying from another in the class test, the whole class turned round to her (no doubt trying to im­press their teacher) and said "You are a cheat." Unfortunately, as noisy twelve year old beginners, who can't quite differentiate between "sh" and "ch", the sentence didn't quite come out like that....

Margaret Bell in France

WALKING THE DOG

This amusing "got wrong end of the stick" incident happened in my adult EFL class. I was teaching the struc­ture "have something done". After eliciting several good examples from students: in Britain you go to the hairdresser to have your hair cut, you go to the optician to have your eyes tested, you go to the photographer's studio to have your photo taken...One student who had lived in the USA said she had heard that people with busy lives "had their dogs walked" and asked whether it happened in the UK. To which I replied that yes, but it wasn't very common. As I looked round the class, I noticed a very puzzled ex­pression on one Pakistani student's face. When I asked him what was wrong, he, in all seriousness, piped up “Oh, in Pakistan our dogs don't have to be walked. In Pakistan our dogs can walk by themselves.” The whole class simply fell about laughing.

Z Aziz in Scotland

LATEST FASHION

There's always something I take great care of when I’m starting a new English group. I plan my outfit weeks before the class is to begin, I choose the most appropriate suit, the right colour, the shoes, the bag, the jeans and T-shirt for adolescent groups and so on. It's just something that comes naturally to me; the way you dress can help you when want to give the best impression and win the students over by the end of the class!

So anyway, about ten days ago I was handed over my list of new stu­dents. Our registers have a space for their dates of birth, which are only completed if the students are under age. I read through the names and realised it was a kiddies group, as their dates of birth made then 9 and 10 year olds. I did find it strange that the list had been handwritten (they normally come straight out of the computer) but I didn't give it that much importance.

Anyway, that's when I put my thinking cap on and eventually realised that the starting date was actually the first day of Spanish Carnival. "Great! I thought. I'll use my teddy bear suit, bring in my box of cuddly toys, and base my first class on ani­mals and colours". I remember think­ing that most kids dress up at carni­val and they'd find it cute if their teacher was also in the carnival spirit.

And that's what I did, I arrived on the first Thursday of carnival, dressed as a cute little teddy bear, with my box of toys under my arm and my folder with the register inside it, in my left hand. I walked through the door quite happily... only to see the Director of Studies watching me com­pletely astonished, in the company of a middle aged smart looking man in a suit. I smiled at her and looked straight at her as she said: "Good afternoon, Vicky, I would like to in­troduce you to Mr. Mendez, the Di­rector of "XXXXXXX" who has organised the English course which you will be teaching today". I nearly died. But luckily, Mr. Mendez had an excellent sense of humour and started to giggle. The secretary then inter­rupted to apologise to me about hav­ing given me the wrong details for my new class. Unfortunately the com­puter had been re-programmed and had lost part of the school's vital infor­mation. That's why my register was handwritten!

Be careful! You never know what could await you in your next English class!

Vicky Lopez Sheridan in Spain

/From “English” №13, 2004/