Some useful information: attitudes
It seems impossible to speak about common attitudes and features of such a big and varied nation as the Americans, and yet, several common features and attitudes can be named that should be known and taken into account when contacting them.
The first common feature that catches the eye is that Americans are usually open and friendly even at the first meeting. They always make acquaintance with a smile, greet people with a smile, and in general smile much more often than we do. Openness and friendliness is combined with politeness. You will meet people who are rude and uncooperative very rarely as most of them try not to say anything that can hurt other person’s feelings and to be of help where they can in small daily matters. Being informal is also the way of being open and friendly. For instance, people would often introduce themselves by their first names and call you by your first name even after a few moments of acquaintance.
The style of dressing is a very good expression of American informality. People tend to be quite informal and casual in what they are wearing. It especially concerns the academic setting. For Americans clothing is not a matter of prestige (it is the house and sometimes the car that are) - so, they tend to dress in the manner most convenient for them and making them feel maximum comfort. That is why it is not unusual to see a woman in the street wearing a smart dress and sneakers (кросівки). She is most probably walking to some party and has high-heeled shoes with her. But she will put them on only when she comes. Why wear them in the street? It is inconvenient and bad both for your feet and for the shoes.
But it is better to be rather cautious about the American informality. In our home culture if people start calling one another by their first names, it means some degree of intimacy and even friendship. In American culture it means nothing but a desire to make communication more informal and relaxed. So, do not hurry to start calling people by their first names until they ask you to. It should also be remembered that in professional situations more formal addressing using a last name and a title (Ms, Mr., Dr., Prof., etc.) is often preferable.
It should also be remembered that, being often rather informal, Americans value their privacy very much and are not inclined to let other people approach too close - both literally and figuratively. For instance, it has already been said that the normal talking distance between two people is no closer than the length of an outstretched arm, and it is bad manners trying to touch your interlocutor(s) while conversing. Much alike to the British culture, it is not customary for men who know each other to shake hands at every meeting - handshakes are more for the situations of introduction, and then woman-to-woman and woman-to-man’s handshakes are just as regular as man-to-man’s ones. This valuing of one’s privacy is also demonstrated in the fact that it is considered very bad manners to call even on good friends without telephoning first.
Americans consider themselves very individualistic (though you will often be surprised to notice how readily many people conform to the established opinions and standards of what is “right and wrong”) and value their individuality very much. They are brought up to believe that everyone of them is the equal of any other woman or man and master of her or his own life. That is why Americans are in no way what we call “class-conscious”; except for the very rich and the very poor, everybody considers herself or himself belonging to the middle class, and class and social distinctions are not a matter of great interest to anybody. That is also why people do not regard with awe (благоговійний острах) those who are “on top” and do not show excessive deference or superiority to each other. However, in a professional setting it may be different since people are very much afraid of losing their jobs. Besides, many Americans are very career-oriented - so doing everything for one’s career and to be successful in it is often an obsession. It also lies at the bottom of having so many workaholics in the USA. The career-orientation and workaholism are the direct consequence of the fact that high professionalism and success in one’s job are one of the most cherished values in American society. These values are also the reason for the high esteem in which the so called yappies are generally held. Yappie is a coined word meaning young professional having the best professional training and high career orientation whose main aim in life is being successful in her or his job and promoting her or his career.
Valuing one’s individuality is the reason why Americans as rule feel free to speak their mind on every subject and are quite frank and sincere in expressing their opinions, preferences, likes and dislikes. They are almost always direct in their communications', they are not embarrassed to ask questions when they need information and confess that they do not know something. In fact, they like to ask questions and answer them - so, always ask when you do not understand something in America, people will usually be glad to explain and help you.
On the other hand, Americans tend to be “politically correct” (as it is called) in what they say not to hurt the feelings of adherents (прибічники) of other political beliefs, national and ethnic minorities, etc. One example has already been given before concerning the issue of how disabled people are called. Another example is the politically correct appellation of the black citizens of the United States. Calling them “Negroes” is not only politically incorrect, it is considered insulting and you may be sued (переслідувати в суді) for it. The right name is the “black people”, “blacks”, or African-Americans.
In general, Americans like variety and differences in lifestyles, customs, and habits. The only requirement is that a person, living as he or she wishes, does not limit the freedom of the others to live as they think proper and does not harm other people. But there are some common customs and habits that should better be adopted while you are in the United States. The first of them concerns punctuality.
If any kind of appointment is made, an American may be expected to come exactly at the appointed time. She or he will expect the same of others, and in professional life, especially in business, if someone is late, this person can hardly count on successful talks. One should come within five minutes of the appointed time to be considered punctual and therefore worth dealing with. If it is not a professional appointment but a social occasion (a party or a meal), being ten or fifteen minutes late after the appointed time is considered normal - but if it is more than that, your hosts may think you inconsiderate. And never come before the appointed hour on social occasions - it is believed to be highly improper. In general, it is not advisable to visit anybody, especially at office, without a previous appointment for a definite hour, it is very bad to be late for any appointment, and if you are unavoidably delayed, you are supposed to telephone and warn about it.
Any invitations made by Americans, concerning either professional or social visits, can be declined without offending the person who has invited you. You should only explain why it is inconvenient for you to come. In general, some prompt response to an invitation is always expected. If an invitation is written (which is very formal), you will often find “RSVP” at the end of the invitation letter. It is the abbreviation of the French expression “Repondez, s’il-vous-plait” meaning “Please reply'. A written answer is expected. When you are invited for a social occasion (a party, a dinner, etc.), you do not need to bring a present. Do it only if it is a birthday party, a wedding party, an invitation for an entire weekend (overnight) or something of that kind. In the latter case (an overnight invitation) flowers or a bottle of wine would be quite enough and thought considerate of you. A thank-you note after an overnight invitation or a dinner party is also appropriate. But if you are invited to go out for a lunch or dinner, i.e., to go to a restaurant and not to have a meal at your host’s home, you should assume that everyone is expected to pay for herself or himself unless there was a specific offer to pay for you.
Americans are very health-conscious and much concerned about health matters. You will find people often discussing fitness and healthy food problems. Eating only healthy food is becoming almost a national obsession, and in supermarkets you will see the enormous popularity of cholesterol- free, fat-free, sugar-free and such like foodstuffs. That is why if you have any dietary restrictions, you may feel absolutely free to talk about them to your hosts if you are invited anywhere. People will readily understand it and try to accommodate you. In restaurants you may be even insistent about your dietary preferences. The staff is usually used to it and will try to help.
The attitude to smoking in the USA is the direct consequence of the health-consciousness of the greater part of population. It has already been mentioned several times in this book that America is turning into a totally non-smoking country. Cigarette-smoking in most public places (the out-of- door ones, like bus stops, included) is either very restricted or totally prohibited while cigar and pipe-smoking is completely prohibited practically everywhere. So, if you try to light up in a university building, office, restaurant, etc., you may not only be reprimanded but heavily fined as well. Do not light up in people’s homes where you are invited either - unless you have received a specific permission from your host or hostess. Smoking may also be damaging to your social or professional image because it is often considered as bad a habit as heavy drinking or taking drugs. On the contrary, if you jog, play tennis or golf, or do any other sport and take care of your health and fitness in general, it makes your image more positive in the eyes of people who contact you either professionally or personally.
One more common feature of Americans should be mentioned. They are mostly very patriotic and are always interested in what foreigners think of America. Though they are quite willing to criticize their country and its institutions, they think that only they have a right to do it and may become rather touchy if a foreigner shows critical attitudes. This should be taken into account when you are talking about America to Americans.
1 First-class mail is the kind of mail most people use as it guarantees the delivery in quite a short term and the safety of your letters even without registering them. It is also only slightly more expensive than lower-class mail. But if you want your letters to be delivered very quickly, you should use different forms of federal express mail that guarantee their delivery within 24 hours whatever part of the United States or the world they are mailed to.
2 You will never hear the word “petrol” in the USA. It is called only gasoline or gas for short.
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