What Is Marriage (test)

1. Are you both mature adults?  This is necessary for a good relationship - though it is not sufficient.  Here is an interesting adultness test, to get you started.  But don't assume a high schore is your ticket to success, in marriage, or anywhere else.  This is a very abridged survey, and it's mostly for fun; though it can give young people a good idea of what it means to be "grown up".  In reality, you should probably be in your mid twenties before you consider marriage.  Marriages also work better when people have more education.  Could you be happy/fulfilled without marriage?

2. Why do you want to get married?  What are you hoping to gain?  What can you offer your partner in return?

3. What marriages have you experienced personally?  Did they result in happiness?  What was good or bad about these marriages?

4. Should a marriage be strictly between two people?  Why?  If not, replace the word partner with partners throughout this questionnaire.

5. Can two gay people share a lifelong loving relationship?  Should U.S. laws sanction their marriage, with the same privileges (e.g. joint healthcare and tax-free inheritance) and responsibilities (e.g. alimony) as any other couple?

6. Do you believe the commitment takes place when you get engaged, or when you say "I do"?

7. How important is the legal/religious institution of marriage, as opposed to a simple commitment between you and your partner?

8. Do you believe it is helpful to live together first, before making a commitment?  (Statistically, living together will neither hurt nor help your chances of success.)

9. How do you feel about pre-nuptial agreements?

10. Who will acquire whose last name, or will you keep your last names, or will you jointly adopt a new name?  (Warning, there's plenty of paperwork involved in a name change.)

Love and Support Through the Years

1. What causes people to fall in love?

2. How important is love to a good marriage?  Can two people, who are no longer in love, have a good marriage?  Can two people, who are very much in love, have a bad marriage?

3. Do you expect to be in love for life?  How might your love evolve as the marriage proceeds?  (Surveys show most older couples feel like siblings, rather than sweethearts.)

4. What will you do, years from now, when the touch of your partner's hand does not bring euphoria?

5. How important is affection?  How do you feel about public displays of affection?

6. Can you give and receive affection even when you don't particularly feel "in love"?

7. Does a marriage require ongoing maintenance?  What kind of things should you monitor?

8. Is a marriage "hard work"?  If so, why do you want to fill your life with hard work?

9. Can you put your partners needs ahead of your own?  How will you know what your partner's needs are?

10. Are you (generally) polite and courteous to others?  Are these attributes important to a smooth-running marriage and family?

11. How will you react when your partner does something small (or big) that you don't like?  How would you want to be approached if the tables were turned?

12. What do you do when you are frustrated or angry?  How do you resolve conflicts with others?

13. How do you react when you are sad or discouraged?  Do you seek love and support, or would you rather be alone?

14. What priority will your marriage receive throughout life?  What things are more important than your marriage?

15. How might you or your partner change, that would cause your marriage to dissolve?  What are some things that you simply cannot live with?