What Makes a Good Family

Ex. 16. Read the text:

It is very easy to speak about happy families - kingdoms of love, respect, compassion and care. Leo Tolstoy wrote in his novel “Anna Karenina” - “All happy families are happy in the same way, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. It is very difficult and painstaking work to create the atmosphere of respect, co-operation and love in a family, but there is no universal way of achieving the success. Every family finds its own way but the result is the same - a good family. What makes a good family? The main ingredient is respect, the respect of everybody’s personality, everybody’s opinion. It is very important for children: they take much after their parents and if their parents respect each other there is a very strong probability that the children will respect their spouses too and, obviously, other people. Besides when parents respect their children’s opinion children realise themselves as personalities which helps to mould people of dignity. You may object saying that love is the prevailing feeling that unites a family and everyone will have to agree. Yes, love is important, but there are cases when love spoils children. A blind motherly love to a child is apt to forgive everything, even a crime. One more thing which is necessary in the family at least towards children is exactness. Parents should be strict sometimes if they want their children to be reasonable and decent.

It is very difficult to mention everything what makes a good family, but there is one more essential thing: there should be a balance in a family; the balance between love and exactness, between independence and thoughtfulness. Strong, happy families have some common features whether they are rich or poor, white or black. They spend much time together, talk about their problems and resolve them before they get too big. They show each other affection and appreciation. These happy families do not draw much attention: no patrol cars arriving at nights, no quarrels, no interviews by probation officers or social workers.

What is your idea of a happy family?

Do you think your family is happy?

What do you think is the strong point of your family?

What would you have or would get rid of in your family?

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Family Problems

Ex. 17. Read the text:

Unhappy families draw by far more attention of law enforcement and social structures. The reasons of conflicts in families may be different - from alcoholism to arguments about family hierarchy, which sounds rather silly. No-one can deny that families today experience a number of problems. The number of single parent families increases, families are getting smaller (an overage household is between 2 and 3 people today). About half of all marriages end in divorce. Violence in the family is one more serious problem. Children often learn violence from their parents and repeat it in their own families. One more problem is a “generation gap” - the difference in the views of teenagers and their parents. This is the most common problem even in so-called good families. The most common reasons for arguments between teenagers and parents are: the teenager’s attitude towards other members of the family; the help about the house; the quality of school work; curfew - time to come home at night; the teenager’s friends. The generation gap is really painful experience for both children and parents. There is a medicine for it - patience and understanding from the both sides. It is not so difficult to understand that parents are very anxious about their children, they want to help the kids to avoid painful mistakes in life, they try to monitor every child’s step and teach and moralise him. Sometimes it is really very annoying for teenagers seeking for independence and trying their own ways in life. It’s not too difficult to understand that parents wish children only good and in their turn parents should remember that children are not puppets for their pleasure, but growing personalities. It is always possible to find a compromise if you give it a go.

What are the main family problems?

What problem do you think is the most common in this country?

What problems did you have in your family?

Did you experienced ‘generation gap’?

What were the reasons for misunderstandings between you and your parents?

Who tried to make the first step to conciliation?

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