The discovery of america
America was founded by Columbus in 1642. This is an easy date to remember because it rhymes with ‘ocean blue’, which was the colour of the Atlantic in those days. If he had sailed a year later the date would still be easy to remember because it would rhyme with ‘boundless sea’.
Columbus fled to this country because of persecution by Ferdinand and Isabella, who refused to believe the world was round, even when Columbus showed them an egg. Ferdinand later became famous because he objected to bullfights and said he preferred to smell flowers if he had to smell anything. He was stung in the end by a bee.
Before Columbus reached America, which he named after a man called American Vesuvius, he cried 'Ceylon! Ceylon!' because he wanted to see India, which was engraved on his heart, before he died. When he arrived, he cried again. This time he cried 'Excelsior!' meaning ‘I have founded it’. Excelsior has been widely used ever since by persons returning with chinaware from China and with india ware from India.
Columbus was mistaken in thinking he had reached India when actually he had not got even as far as Indiana. There is still a great deal of confusion about the East and the West. As Columbus discovered, if you go west long enough you find yourself in the east, and vice versa. The East and the West are kept apart by the Date Line, just as the North and South are kept apart by the Masons' Dixon Line. In the New World most of the eastern half of the country is called the Middle West, although it is known as the East by those who live in the Far West.
Columbus, who was as confused as anybody who has been at sea for a long time, called the first people he saw 'Indians'. It is not known what they called Columbus. His unfortunate error has been perpetuated through the centuries. The original Americans are still known as 'Indians', while all manner of immigrants from England, Ireland, Angora, and Lichtenstein are referred to as 'Americans'.
Accompanied by his devoted followers, the Knights of Columbus, Columbus made several other voyages in search of India. Try as he might, however, he kept discovering America, and finally returned to Spain to die. He lived for a time in Madrid, but spent his last days in Disgrace.
A minority opinion
Some say it was not Columbus who discovered America but a man named Leaf Ericson. Leaf came from one of the Scandinavian countries with a shipload of people, all of whom were called Yon Yonson or Ole Olson or Big Swede, and went straight to Wisconsin, where he unloaded his passengers and went back for more.
On his next trip he went to Minnesota. We know all this from some undecipherable remarks he made on a piece of stone. This stone has since become an utter rune.
Further explorations
After Columbus proved the world was round, a great many people went around it. Marco Polo, who was one of the earlier explorers, had the misfortune to live several centuries before Columbus. Therefore, although he got around a good deal, he did not get completely around. He went far to the north, however, and is remembered for his discovery of the Polo regions.
The chief rivals in exploration were England and Spain. England had men like Cabot, who spoke only to a man named Lowell, and Sir Francis Drake, who had a singed beard and a ship called the Golden Behind.
Nor should we forget Sir Martin Fourflusher.
The struggle between England and Spain came to a climax in an epic sea battle off the Azores known as the Last Fight of the Revenge. In this decisive conflict, Sir Richard Grenville and Alfred Lord Tennyson proved conclusively that the lighter English warships could get more miles to the galleon. England has ruled the waves ever since and has kept the sun from setting anywhere on her empire, thus providing a longer working day than in other countries.