1Reviews and everything / Combined rendering of the articles till death do them part and when violence hits home
.docAlex Kvartalny @ flamedragon27.blogspot.com
Group 501
Combined Rendering of the Articles Till Death Do Them Part and When Violence Hits Home
One of the articles is entitled Till Death Do Them Part. It was written by Erica Goode with Ted Gest, Jeannye Thornton, Katia Hetter, Betsy Streisand and Debbie Schwarz. The other article is When Violence Hits Home by Jill Smolowe.
The theme of both the pieces is domestic violence. The authors explain the notion and possible reasons for it and suggest a potential panacea to this burning issue.
The message of the articles is that victims of domestic violence should try to improve the situation, they should not keep silent about it since it is “everybody’s responsibility in your community”.
The authors of both articles draw the reader’s attention to the fact that for decades, domestic violence activists have pleaded with the public to take violence in the family seriously. The figures they give are: 100,000 hospitalization days each year; 30,000 emergency room visits; an estimated 2 million incidents of battering, both male and female. Some staggering figures are given against the backdrop of the fact that although the American Medical Association had reported as many as 1 in 3 women being assaulted by a domestic partner in her lifetime, it took the murder of Nicole Simpson to give national resonance to those numbers. All of a sudden domestic abuse, once perniciously silent, has been exposed for its brutality because of the OJ scandal.
It is the authors’ firm belief that judicial system is extremely important in preventing domestic violence. And they are very positive about lawmakers who are not merely listening – they have been acting as well. In New York, for instance there was introduced a bill that mandates arrest for any person who commits a domestic assault. The legislation in California has been pressing for a computerized registry of restraining orders and the confiscation of guns from men arrested for domestic violence. Colorado’s package of anti-domestic-violence laws not only compels police to take abusers into custody at the scene of violence, but also requires arrest for the first violation of the restraining order. Subsequent violations bring mandatory time in jail. There has also been a call by the federal officials for supporting the federal crime bill, which would earmark several hundred million dollars in new anti-domestic-violence funding. The money is needed for programs to encourage arrests of abusers, for better treatment programs, “family violence courts” and restoration of a national, toll-free hotline discontinued in 1992. Presently, 25 states require arrest when a reported domestic dispute turns violent. But police often walk away if the victim refuses to press charges. Though they act quickly to separate strangers, law-inforcement officials remain wary of interfering into domestic altercations, thinking that such battles are more private and less serious.
However, Erica Goode notes that according to demestic violence experts, the safety of millions of victims depends ultimately on a cultural shift much larger than any law can guarantee. In the face of such incidents, the truth is that the burden of a woman’s safety falls largely on the shoulders of women themselves. They can educate themselves about resources in their communities, find out what they can expect from the legal system and what they can’t, learn to recognize the warning signs that a person is capable of physical aggression. If forced to go into hiding from abusive partners, they can maximize the chances that they will remain undetected. And most of all, they can begin to rebuild their shattered self-esteem.
Erica Goode continues that no woman knowingly falls in love with a man who will abuse her. The kind of man she falls in love with is charming, sweet and charismatic. Not infrequently, the couple marries or moves in together after a short and intense coutship. She only realizes later that his adoration comes wrapped in jealousy and controlling behaviour. Experts on domestic violence add that the longer a woman knows a man before moving in with him, the better her chances of recognizing potential violence.
Among the reasons for domestic violence Jill Smolowe points out the physiological factor citing some researchers. There was a study conducted by the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre that found that 61% of men involved in marital violence have signs of severe head trauma. Researchers say they can also distinguish two types among men most likely to kill their wives: the “loose cannon” with impulse control problems, and those who are calculated and focused. In fact, the latter group may be more dangerous. There may be other psycho-physiological links to violence. It is known, for instance, that alcohol and drug abuse often go hand in hand with spousal abuse. So does mental illness.
However, most studies reveal that battering is an aftereffect of violence as learned behaviour. Participants of this kind of research programmes (80% of them) grew up in homes where they saw or actually were victims of physical, sexual or other abuse. Also, there has been established a link between those women who witnessed abuse in their childhood homes and those who reveal such dramas later in their lives. Many see violence as the only way of getting what you want. Counselling usually helps to break the generational cycle, though.
The authors provide yet another reason that facilitates domestic violence – silence on the victim’s behalf. The thing is that the first time the husband hits a woman, she should immediately tell someone. The woman should also be prepared to leave the man, or at lest find a family violence shelter where she can obtain counselling and education.
Domestic violence is connected with fear, notes Erica Goode, and that is the reason why women stay in abusive relationships. Walking out of them can mean risking serious injury or even death. The woman has to make a careful plan; otherwise she may not have either the means to support herself or a place to stay. Also, she might suffer another black eye but let her children have a father. Many wives think that if they leave they lose. Domestic-violence experts say that the best thing to do for a woman is to leave immediately the first time her partner hits her. But if she chooses to stay, there are steps she can take to increase her safety.
The authors Erica Goode and Jill Smolowe point out that batters respond to the fact that their victim is leaving in many different ways. While some let go, others beg the wife to come back, call her on the phone but eventually leave her alone allowing her to start a new life. Yet, there are some men who cannot let go and will stalk their victim using any means possible to track her down and possibly murder.
The problem of protective orders is also being commented upon in the articles. The authors are saying that it is no panacea for women to have batterers arrested or seek civil protective orders against them. Not all battered women’s organizations support proliferating mandatory arrest laws since divorce decrees, arrest warrants, court orders of protection are often read by enraged men as a licence to kill. It is education, not discretion, that is required, say the proponents of mandatory arrest laws. However, either action may help, forcing the batterer instead of the victim to leave. Even though now domestic-violence cases are handled better, many women still face resistance from unsympathetic officials.
While only a small percentage of all assaults on women result in death, domestic violence often involves severe physical or psychological damage that can never go away. The Simpson case highlights the secrets of domestic violence and its terrible toll on women and at the same time it gives many women a hope for a better future. It has taught women to call hotlines and speak openly if an abuse takes place. And abusive men are also taking a lesson from the controversy.
I believe that if you bear in mind the figures, the cases and the arguments that the experts are giving, domestic violence is an extremely burning issue. The impact it has on society is enormous. However, this war on domestic violence yet again spotlights the fact that people are unwilling to face the truth. They will look for anything to shy away from it. They will treat the symptoms, but not the cause. I believe this war on domestic violence will generate even more violence, death and psychological damage to women. It has shifted everybody’s attention from living a purposeful life to living a pattern, where you beat your wife, then get arrested, then you either get divorced (you’ll have to buy another car, another house whatever) or resort to counselling. Either way, you pay money to fix the problem that was made especially for you. And that is what this domestic violence thing is all about – money and power. The OJ case did not, in my humble opinion, highlight ‘the secrets of domestic violence and its terrible toll on women’. OJ Simpson was a martyr that they used to generate money. Instead of teaching people to make the right choices, to live with love and purpose, they create artificial problems that are solved with real money, with your money in fact, whether you want it or not, if you pay taxes of course. But those who want more power are robbing you not only of your money, but also of your happiness. Another thing why humanity has so many problems is because people are sometimes lazy to fix them themselves. They want others to do it for them. The main character of my favourite Into the Wild movie asks this question, ‘Cause, you know what I don't understand? I don't understand why people, why every fucking person is so bad to each other so fucking often. It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum’. I think I do understand. People who want money and power make others so bad to each other so often. But they are not to blame for the situation because it is up to every person to make up his or her mind, whether to accept the game or not, how to treat others – with hatred, jealousy or love and compassion.