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Файл:Speak and Write like The Economist говори и пиши как The Economist
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Government, politics, democracy, society
tory, even for Russia. (She was the fi rst, though not the last, Russian ruler
to annex Crimea.) And married queens were more aggressive than single
queens or kings, whether single or married.
The upper chamber is the nation’s biggest and most successful
Laundromat.
This country is not working for working people. It’s working only for
those at the top. That’s not the American dream. That’s the American
night mare.
In Britain the elected House of Commons is less effective than the
unelected House of Lords.
The world knows what it wants, but cannot agree on how to get what it
wants.
Even the government cannot do much if it does not rain.
Fifty years later, black America still fares badly on many of the predictors of success and signals of distress that concerned Moynihan. If it
were a separate country, it would have a worse life expectancy than
Mexico, a worse homicide rate than Ivory Coast and a higher proportion
of its citizens behind bars than anywhere on earth. This is despite the
fact that, overall, America is home to the richest, most successful population of black African descent that the world has ever seen.
The distance between the front benches in Britain’s House of
Commons, it is said, is that of two drawn swords.
“The weather is like the government,” wrote Jerome K. Jerome, “always
in the wrong.”
Asked how political coalitions are formed, Germany’s chancellor, Gerhard Schröder, once shot back with a question of his own:
“How do porcupines mate?” After a short pause, he then answered
it with a grin: “Very slowly.”
If town meeting teaches anything, it is how to suffer damn fools and to
appreciate the fact that from time to time you too may look like a damn
fool in the eyes of people as good as yourself.
If Democrats had any brains, they’d be Republicans.
71
Часть I
“Political language,” wrote George Orwell, “is designed to make lies
sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of
solidity to pure wind.”
Recep Erdogan is, as an old Turkish saying goes, holding a stick
with shit at both ends.
The Advanced Research Projects Agency, which created the internet’s
forebear, ARPANET, was President Eisenhower’s response to the launch
of Sputnik by the Soviet Union. The decentralised, packet-based system of communication that forms the basis of the internet originated in
America’s need to withstand a massive attack on its soil.
Israel’s founder reckoned that a nation “has to have its own burglars and prostitutes”.
This great crappiness was essentially American.
Britain’s queen has over the years received “pineapples, eggs, a
box of snail shells, a grove of maple trees, a dozen tins of tuna
and 7kg of prawns”. Presumably they went the same way as the
pair of cowboy boots she was given on a visit to America two
decades ago.
Amateurs talk strategy, professionals talk capacity.
Any man who is under 30 and is not a liberal has no heart; and
any man who is over 30 and is not a conservative has no brains
(Winston Churchill).
Nationalist protesters recently donned panda outfi ts to remind David
Cameron, the Conservative prime minister, that there are more pandas
in Edinburgh zoo (two) than there are Tory MPs in Scotland (one).
Is it a bad thing to have MPs voting for what they think is right?
The United States has taken Abraham Lincoln’s admonition to heart: its
constitution has been amended several times since coming into effect in
1789, but never replaced.
The world’s countries no longer resemble “a fl otilla of more than
100 separate boats”; rather, “they all live in 193 separate cabins on
the same boat”.
72
Government, politics, democracy, society
Sir Malcolm Jack, a former clerk of the Commons, was asked why the catering services of the House of Lords, the upper house, and the House of
Commons could not have been merged to save money. He replied: “The
lords feared that the quality of champagne would not be as good if they
chose a joint service.” According to The Guardian newspaper, the upper
house has spent £ 265,770 on 17,000 bottles of the stuff since the Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition government took offi ce in 2010—
enough for fi ve bottles of bubbly per peer per year.
Using “farmer” to mean “stupid” is unwise in Iowa, where the
word is synonymous with “voter”.
Mr Clegg is Westminster roadkill; his net personal approval rating is minus 52.
One of Pol Pot’s favourite sayings was, tuk min chamnen, dak
chenh ka, min kat — “to keep you is no gain, to kill you no loss”.
Arguably, the Founding Fathers favored a system in which one foot
stayed permanently on the accelerator and the other on the brake. Hasn’t
America got what they wanted?
We’re all Americuns, greatest race in the world!
Letting in dynamic immigrants, revamping the tax code and reforming
entitlements would make the Great Society safe for another generation.
Not enough to get Mr Obama’s face carved on Mount Rushmore, but not
bad.
Jürgen Habermas, the German philosopher who thought up the
concept of the “public sphere”, has always been in two minds
about the internet. Digital communication, he wrote a few years
ago, has unequivocal democratic merits only in authoritarian
countries, where it undermines the government’s information
monopoly. Yet in liberal regimes, online media, with their millions of forums for debate on a vast range of topics, could lead
to a “fragmentation of the public” and a “liquefaction of politics”,
which would be harmful to democracy.
Being Republican, and thus not having a heart, saved his life when he got
shot in the chest once.
One of the most popular sports in Washington is the partisan fl ip.
73
Часть I
If you want a nigger for a neighbour, vote Labour.
North Korea is the world’s most rational despotic regime: a highly successful Communist absolute monarchy.
Bushism is Reaganism minus the passion for freedom.
For all its faults socialism is manifestly superior to capitalism in
one area: the making of myths.
Every nation knows what is right and how everyone else is wrong.
Romania, a country where governments have the longevity of
mayfl ies.
The queen understands that she is a symbol, and that symbols are “better off mostly keeping quiet”.
Three highly dysfunctional institutions: the state of California,
the European Union and the G20.
Leticia Van de Putte, a Texas state senator from San Antonio with relatives on both sides of the border, points out that “our family was there
when it was Spain, when it was France, when it was Mexico, the Republic
of Texas, the United States, the Confederacy. Our family’s always been in
the same place; it was the damn government that kept changing.”
Abraham Lincoln observed that “nearly all men can stand adversity but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
The Newark mayor has long been a man of action. He once chased
down a robbery suspect. He shovelled snow during a 2010 blizzard. In
April he suffered burns when rescuing a neighbour from her burning
house. Earlier this month he directed traffi c away from an accident he
came across.
For many years Northern Ireland was a large net importer of advice on how to end its troubles.
Neanderthal dictatorship.
The prime minister should stop being the custodian of vaginas.
74
Government, politics, democracy, society
It could almost be a question in a political-science exam. Three groups,
A, B and C each lack the necessary parliamentary majority; A will not
form a coalition with B; C will not support either. How do you form
agovernment.
Short of taking bribes or fornicating in a public park, there is no
surer way to detonate a career in British politics than to accept
ajob as home secretary.
A cartoon of a fully clothed, bespectacled Mr Zuma, virtually unrecognisable save for the characteristic bump at the back of his shaven head,
in a heroic Leninesque pose, but with his genitals hanging out of his
trousers.
Joe Biden, the American vice-president, stood beside Mr Hollande in Paris and applauded his “decisiveness” and “the incredible competence and capability” of France’s military forces. For
a poli tician whom members of his own party compared variously to a marshmallow, a woodland strawberry and a caramel
pudding, this was bliss indeed.
In a short story called “Franchise”, Isaac Asimov dreamed up a computer
that saved Americans from going to the polls. The machine was fed data,
and interviewed one representative voter, before announcing a result that
perfectly refl ected what would have happened had the election been held.
Mr Obama’s problems were partly structural. An incumbent
must defend the realities and compromises of government, while
a challenger is freer to promise the earth, details to follow.
Old regimes fall to revolutions not when they resist change, but when
they attempt reform yet dash the raised expectations they have evoked.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
George Bush senior picked Dan Quayle, whom many treated harshly as
a fi gure of fun who could not spell “potato”.
The Senate, so George Washington is reputed to have told Thomas Jefferson, is a saucer into which legislation is poured to cool
it down. But the Founding Fathers, alas, did not specify just how
cold they wanted their tea or their laws to be.
75
Часть I
The biggest number (15%) went to the Five-Star “movement” of a comedian, Beppe Grillo, whose web-fi red campaign denounces all parties
and promises not to ally with any of them. Mr Grillo is alarmingly thin
on policies and wants a referendum on leaving the euro. Some call his
movement the “anti-party”; others the “Fuck Off party”. We all know
what to do, we just don’t know how to get re-elected after we have
done it.
Democracy in America does not come cheap. The election cycle that has just limped to its exhausted conclusion cost around
$6billion— a new record, as in every new presidential cycle.
America’s vice-presidency, one of its occupants once asserted in an oftbowdlerised remark, is “not worth a bucket of warm piss”.
“Latinos are Republicans,” Ronald Reagan is supposed to have
said. “They just don’t know it yet.”
Plato warned that democratic leaders would “rob the rich, keep as much
of the proceeds as they can for themselves and distribute the rest to the
people”.
Offi cials would prefer you to be born, live, work, pay taxes, draw
benefi ts and die in the same place, travel on one passport only,
and bequeath only one nationality to your offspring.
Otto von Hasburg, 97, liberated from court etiquette, can call someone
an “idiot” if he wants, instead of “your excellency”. He was a technicolour
politician in a monochrome landscape.
Public urinators rule the London streets.
CASA-CE, a new group headed by Abel Chivukuvuku, a former Unita
man, is one of several being allowed to run for the fi rst time, and may
take votes from Unita.
Gerge McGovern promised swingeing cuts in the defence budget,
an end to the war in Vietnam, an amnesty for draft-evaders, universal health care, a guaranteed job for every American and an income above the poverty line for every American household. Brighteyed young volunteers stuffed envelopes for him; Hollywood stars
turned out for him; Simon and Garfunkel sang. To no avail. Richard
76
Government, politics, democracy, society
Nixon won 49 states; he won Massachusetts and the District of Columbia. His name became a byword for Democratic disaster.
Air conditioning reshaped American politics, by enabling the migration
of Republican pensioners to the Sun Belt. That helped break the longstanding Democratic lock on southern politics. America uses more electricity for cooling than Africa uses for everything.
In 2008, we changed the guard. This year we must guard the
change.
America comes to believe that it has wings. Then, Icarus-like, it soars too
close to the sun and the wings melt.
The world is a competitive place. Britain is trying to run with its
shoelaces tied together.
Houston was elected president of Texas fi ve months later and in 1845 it became the 28th and largest of the United States of America. Alaska, the 49th
state, is even larger. But, as some say in Texas, just wait ’til the ice melts.
If one compares Сastro’s lodgings with the White House, Buckingham Palace or the Elysée Palace, it would be fair to conclude
that their residences are unpretentious.
Dr Gloor has found that, in Western countries at least, non-violent protest movements begin to burn out when the upbeat tweets turn negative, with “not”, “never”, “lame”, “Ihate”, “idiot” and so on becoming more
frequent. Abundant complaints about idiots in the government or in an
ideologically opposed group are a good signal of a movement’s decline.
Complaints about idiots in one’s own movement or such infelicities as
the theft of beer by a fellow demonstrator suggest the whole thing is
almost over. Condor, then, is good at forecasting the course of existing
protests. Even better, from the politicians’ point of view, would be to predict such protests before they occur.
The difference between Barack Obama, leader and Barack Obama, campaigner is in the sleeves. When Mr Obama speaks as the
president— sober, calm, head of a nation— he tends to encase
them in a suit jacket. When he speaks as a candidate— fi ery, enthusiastic, fi gurehead of a party— he loses the jacket and rolls up
his shirtsleeves.
77
Часть I
In 1922 Archduke Otto von Habsburg, son of the last Austro-Hungarian
emperor became the head of the House of Habsburg: “Your Majesty” to
legitimists, and by the Grace of God “Emperor of Austria; King of Hungary and Bohemia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Slavonia, Galicia and Lodomeria;
King of Jerusalem, etc; Archduke of Austria; Grand Duke of Tuscany and
Cracow; Duke of Lorraine, Salzburg, Styria, Carinthia, Carniola and Bukowina; Grand Prince of Transylvania; Margrave of Moravia; Duke of
Silesia, Modena, Parma, Piacenza, Guastalla, Auschwitz and Zator, Teschen, Friaul, Dubrovnik and Zadar; Princely Count of Habsburg and Tyrol, of Kyburg, Gorizia and Gradisca; Prince of Trento and Brixen; Margrave of Upper and Lower Lusatia”. His other titles were more minor.
With the war over, Seward found the time to devote to expansionism. He not only arranged to buy Alaska for $7.2m in gold— one
senator declared his support for the treaty on the condition “that
the secretary of state be compelled to live there”— but he also began planning for the acquisition of Hawaii and the construction
of the Panama canal, both of which later came to pass. He also
wanted to buy British Columbia, which would have connected the
rest of America to Alaska, but “British honour” kicked in, among
other factors, and he failed.
The great fear of every political leader is events, especially unexpected
ones, and especially unexpected ones that are beyond the power of politicians to control.
An iron law of politics holds that at times of political unravelling
the fi xer becomes the scapegoat and the planter of stories turns
into the story itself.
Inside were the contents of President Lincoln’s pockets on the night he
was assassinated. Two pairs of spectacles; a lens polisher; a pocket knife;
the fob of a watch; a leather wallet; a linen handkerchief; and nine newspaper clippings admiring of the president’s policies.
Being a President is like riding a tiger— a man has to keep on riding or being swallowed.
The after-life for a prime minister is a particularly empty one.
Ronald Reagan famously said, the nine most terrifying words in
the English language are: “I’m from the government and I’m here
to help.”
78
Government, politics, democracy, society
While in opposition, Mr Cameron invited the Swede to his house for supper. Ibicycle home, so may be late, he warned Mr Reinfeldt. Great, replied
the Swedish prime minister, I’ll grab a pint at a pub near your house.
Azhar Usman, a stand-up comic, says he is a “very patriotic”
American Muslim. “Iwould die for this country,” he declares. After a pause, he adds: “By blowing myself up.” After another pause:
“Inside of a Dunkin’ Donuts.”
Bush blamed the Iraqis for their inability to accept America’s gift of freedom.
In Congo the government spent more than $500m on elections
last year, making them the world’s most costly after America’s.
High rates of illiteracy and a lack of capable institutions do not
help. In Sierra Leone’s border regions, offi cials judge who should
get a voting card by listening to people’s accents.
Tens of thousands of Puritans, who were religiously akin to the Pilgrims, reached America in the 1630s and 1640s, clustering in Massachusetts Bay and Connecticut. The Indians were squeezed into ever smaller
spaces as the English convinced them to sell their land. Dartmouth, Mr
Philbrick reports, went for “30 yards of cloth, eight moose skins, 15 axes,
15hoes, 15 pairs of shoes, one iron pot, and ten shillings’ worth of assorted goods”.
An Icarus-like government career: a shimmering rise and cut
short by incaution.
Ben Bradlee was the 52nd male Bradlee to study at Harvard since 1795.
One of the best things about being a government is that nobody
audits your accounts.
Toowoomba today— the rest of the world tomorrow?
“Give me a balcony and Iwill become president,” said José Maria
Velasco, Ecuador’s most prominent populist, who was fi ve times
elected president and four times overthrown by the army.
Now that “nigger” (which he calls the N-word) has become taboo in polite
society, what happens to Niggerhead Point? The author notes in passing
that this cape on Lake Ontario was thus named because it was a point
on the laudable underground railroad that helped thousands of escaped
79
Часть I
slaves to freedom in Canada. That interesting historical association survives in the fi rst name change, to Negrohead Point (which remains on
federal maps). But to call it merely Graves Point (asNew York state maps
do) seems a pity. “Nigger” and “Jap” are now banned on American maps,
though a Dago Gulch survives in western Montana. More puzzling to
the non-American is the onslaught on the use of “Squaw”, which according to some activists (though not philologists) is not an innocent word
for a Native American woman, but a derogatory term for her vagina. So
Squaw Peak is now set to be renamed after Lori Piestewa, the fi rst Native
American woman in the American army to be killed in combat.
In the year 15AD, during the short-lived Xin dynasty, a rumour
spread that a yellow dragon, a symbol of the emperor, had inauspiciously crashed into a temple in the mountains of central
China and died. Ten thousand people rushed to the site. The emperor Wang Mang, aggrieved by such seditious gossip, ordered
arrests and interrogations to quash the rumour, but never found
the source. He was dethroned and killed eight years later, and
Han-dynasty rule was restored. You only need to move your lips
to start a rumour, but you need to run until your legs are broken
to refute one.
For the Democrats, this is a great opportunity. For years, they have enjoyed a consistent advantage over Republicans on “mommy” issues,
such as education and health care. But Republicans have trounced them
on “daddy” issues, such as killing terrorists and defending the homeland.
The Democrats have lost a lot of elections because they are easy to caricature as the party that thinks “there are no enemies, just friends whose
grievances we haven’t yet accommodated.”
Even an optimist would not describe Pakistan’s glass as half
full— keeping it unbroken may be the best one could hope for.
Cronyism is as American as apple pie. All countries have their cronies.
That much-cited model of moral rectitude, Tony Blair, is so surrounded
by them that they are called “Tony’s cronies” (hemade his old roommate,
Charlie Falconer, Lord Chancellor). Edith Cresson, a European commissioner, appointed her dentist to an advisory position. But you expect that
sort of thing in Brussels. America’s problem is the contrast between highminded idealism and low practice. America regards itself as the world’s
purest meritocracy— a country based on talent, not patronage and toadyism. A quick glance at history shows this is rubbish. Most presidents
surround themselves with a regional mafi a: look at Carter’s Georgians
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