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Файл:Tolerance in intercultural communication. Knowledge and skills (Толерантность в межкультурном общении. Знания и навыки). Учебное пособие
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initiating and maintaining a conversation is for at least one of the speakers
to ask the other questions.
Starting a conversation with a new or unfamiliar person
Step1. Choose the right time and place.
Step2. If you do not know the person, introduce yourself. If you know the
person, say “Hi.”
Step3. Choose a topic that you would like to talk about OR ask a question.
Step4. Judge whether the other person is listening and wants to talk.
Some specific examples if you are new to the group:
“Good morning! I’m a first-time visitor here and I’m looking to meet a
few new people today. OK if I start with you?”
“Good morning. My name is Tim and this is my first meeting here. I
was hoping to find someone who could tell me more about this group.
Could I ask you a few questions?”
“Hi. I’m Tim. Looks like a great turnout this morning. Is this typical
for the group?”
“Hey Mike, You look like you might know a few things about this
group. What advice do you have for a new member?”
If you are not new to the group:
“Hi. I don’t think we’ve met before. My name is Tim.“
“Good morning. First time here? How can I help you?
If you approach a group in the middle of a conversation:
“Hi everyone. Do you mind if I squeeze in? I’m Tim.”
“Hi. Room for one more?”
Complimenting can be a way of initiating conversation (e.g., "Hi, how are
you? Those are beautiful earrings that you're wearing. Where are they
from?"). It is acceptable to compliment a person's material possessions
(e.g., home, decorations in the home, clothes, etc.). Too many compliments
given may be interpreted as insincere. Not enough compliments may be
interpreted as a sign of apathy or dislike. For example: If a guest doesn't
praise the quality of a dinner, the host might feel that the guest didn't like it.
People in some parts of the world believe that compliments are dangerous
because they invite the "evil eye" (bad luck), therefore compliments in these
places are not given freely. In the United States this belief does not exist.
There are, however, no restrictions or superstitions related to the number of
compliments that can be given.
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Maintaining a conversation by asking questions
Step1. Greet the person. Step2. Ask a question about something you would
like to know about. Step3. Judge whether the person is listening and is
interested in pursuing the conversation.
Maintaining a conversation by giving factual information
Step1. Greet the person. Step2. Share some information about a topic you
would like to discuss. Step3. Judge whether the other person is listening and
is interested in pursuing the conversation.
Maintaining a conversation by expressing feelings or opinions
Step1. Greet the person.
Step2. Make a brief statement about how something makes you feel.
Step3. Judge if the person is listening and is interested in continuing the
conversation. Examples of “feeling” words: Glad, Worried, Relieved,
Disappointed, Happy, Angry, Excited Sad.
Examples:
“What are you looking to accomplish over the next few years?
“What would you do next if you found a million dollars in a paper sack
in the corner of the room with your name on it?”
“Why are you here tonight? Who are you looking to meet?”
“How can I help you?”
“What is the single biggest issue you are facing in your industry?”
“Are you like me? My weekends are swamped with kids sports!”
“I do a lot of volunteering. I’m currently building homes for Habitat.
Have you ever done any volunteering?”
Ending conversations
Step 1. Wait until the other person has finished talking.
Step 2. Use a non-verbal gesture such as glancing away or looking at your
watch.
Step 3. Make a closing comment, such as “well, I really need to go now.”
Step 4. Say good-bye.
Examples:
“It’s been great talking with you. Can you introduce me to anyone else
here who might make a good connection for me?
“Thanks for answering all my questions. You’ve been great! Would
you be open to a follow-up meeting over coffee?
“I appreciate your time. I’d love to meet a few more people tonight. Is
there anything I can do for you before we move on?”
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“Thanks for the time. Seems like we have a lot in common. Can I send
you a LinkedIn invitation?”
Activity 7: Comparison of verbal style preferences: Do you find any of
the following behaviors irritating or frustrating when you encounter
them during interactions with other individuals? Please indicate "yes"
or "no" after each question.
Not answering questions directly: ______________
Talking bluntly: ______________
Insist on calling you Ms. or Mr. ______________
Making a request directly: ______________
Using lots of silence in conversation: ______________
Talking about themselves constantly ______________
Speaking slowly: ______________
Speaking really fast: ______________
Asking personal questions: ______________
Speaking softly: ______________
Speaking loudly: ______________
Constantly apologizing ______________
Activity 8: Read the following conversation and decide if there is a
problem with it.
(Rick sees Debbie at a party and decides he would like to get to know her.)
RICK. Hello. Where are you from?
DEBBIE. From New York.
RICK. Why did you come to California?
DEBBIE. To study.
RICK. Oh, what are you studying?
DEBBIE. Solar energy.
RICK. How long do you plan to stay here?
DEBBIE. Two years.
RICK. When did you come?
DEBBIE. Three weeks ago.
(Rick is already feeling frustrated. He decides it is not worth meeting
Debbie.)
Discuss the problems with the conversation and Rick's feelings of
frustration. Change the dialogue so that it is not one-sided by adding
extra information, a question or a comment after Debbie's short
answers. Write in Rick's responses to Debbie's questions.
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Activity 9: In pairs, practice initiating and maintaining the following
conversations:
o Discuss with one of your classmates: a poor lecture you have just
attended
o Discuss with one of your professors: university policy about foreign
student admissions.
o Discuss with a neighbor environmental problems in your country.
o Discuss with an American student difficulties of being a foreign student.
o Discuss with a stranger the weather, your life and hobby.
Skills: Learning the cultural differences in verbal and nonverbal
communication
Activity 10: Gestures: show the most common gestures that are made
with hands, arms, and shoulders in your language meaning:
Good luck; I hope it works out; Don't ask me; I don't know; I didn't hear
you; I can't hear you; Cut; that's enough; stop or it's all over for me; Oh, I
forgot!; Don't tell me(surprised); Wait a second; Slowdown; Relax; Come
here.
[Follow-up: Which, if any, of these gestures are different from gestures in
other languages? In what situations do you use gestures? Are there some
gestures you shouldn't use with certain people?]
Pantomime ideas and emotions to the rest of the class. Think of sentences or
phrases to illustrate nonverbally. For example:
I'm mad! This is delicious!
Your baby is beautiful!
Please leave.
ROLEPLAYING THE DIALOGUE
Activity 11: In pairs write a dialogue in your own language and in
English using the following situation. (e.g., meeting a friend at a party,
making a date, returning a bad product to a store manager). The class
members will comment on the nonverbal behavior they observe in both
scenes.
Activity 12: Answer the following questions about your own culture and
then discuss intercultural similarities and differences:
1. What does silence indicate in conversations? Does it always indicate the
same thing (e.g. approval or disapproval)?
2. Is it acceptable to interrupt others? If so, when?
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3. Who can criticize whom? Under what circumstances? In what manner do
people make criticisms?
4. Do invitations always result in a definite commitment (e.g., "Yes, I will
come on Saturday")?
5. How do people refuse invitations? Is it appropriate to insist on someone's
accepting an invitation if he or she has refused several times?
6. In comparing English verbal patterns with those in your own language,
have you observed any differences or similarities (e.g., in giving opinions,
asking advice, praising, boasting, expressing modesty, complaining, etc.)?
7. What kind of impressions do people form of one another based on
nonverbal behavior (e.g., "I don't trust him because he stares at people.")?
8. What should a foreigner learn about nonverbal communication in your
country before going there?
Activity 12: Translate the sentences:
1. Italians gesticulate a lot. 2. The Finns are even-tempered and talk a little.
3. The French express themselves in an individual way.
4. The Germans speak directly, sharply and briskly. 5. The Georgians in a
chummy manner. 6. The Estonians dwell on the words.
What can you say about the Russians, Tatars and Turkmen’s verbal
and non-verbal behavior? Discuss it with your group mate.
HOME WORK
a) Observe your group mates’ gestures, touching, eye contact, and
their use of space. Record your observations in the spaces provided.
Work in pairs or in groups of three or four.
Some recommended areas where you can make observations: school
cafeteria, coffee shops, outdoor seating areas, bookstore, bus stops,
classrooms, library, elevators.
b) Retell the text “Verbal and nonverbal communication”
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UNIT 6
DEALING WITH CONFLICT SITUATIONS
(Поведение в конфликтных ситуациях)
“All war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking animal.”
― John Steinbeck, American writer, the winner of the 1962 Nobel Prize in
Literature.
Learning Objectives: knowledge: types and stages of conflict, conflict
management styles, conflict resolution skills.
Skills: students should be able to:
1. Determine the types and stages of conflicts.
2. Discuss conflict management styles.
3. Describe conflict resolution skills and strategies incorporating
communication skills of questioning, assertiveness, active listening, nonverbal communication, language style, negotiation.
4. Understand the importance of developing personal and interpersonal
skills for handling conflicts
5. Identify individual conflict handling mode, determine modes used most
and least often.
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WARM-UP
What does the word “conflict” mean to you? Notes:
________________________________
In the space below, describe one personal experience that you considered to
be a verbal confrontation with another person at the University, at work;
while you were shopping, socializing._____________________________
Vocabulary List for the text “Overcoming conflicts”:
Paragraph B Paragraph D Paragraph E
personal mutually acceptable to compete
interpersonal to develop outlet
intragroup mutually beneficial concern
intergroup action plan collaboration
to disrupt to implement outcome
to draw back vital input
Paragraph F to flare up to give up
assertiveness to evaluate mid-point
active listening to yield smoothing
feedback Paragraph G preserving
slant self-awareness avoidance
posture rash decision Phrases and expressions
mirroring to over-react To come up with [B]
distraction Paragraph H To deal with [E]
to refrain from social awareness To solve the problem [E]
fidgeting empathy To cool down [E]
to doodle judgmental To clear the air [E]
contempt belittling To feel at ease [F]
defensiveness rejecting To jog smb’s memory [F]
stonewalling undermining
to elaborate
paraphrasing
summarizing
Find the English equivalents for the Russian words and phrases using
the vocabulary list:
придумать; вести дела; остыть (успокоиться); разрешить проблему;
напоминать; расставить все на свои места; чувствовать себя
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непринужденно; внутриличностный; препятствовать; разрушать;
взаимоприемлемый; план действий; выполнять; наиболее важный;
разрабатывать; межличностный; вспыхнуть; взаимовыгодный;
внутригрупповой; межгрупповой; оценивать; соревноваться;
сотрудничество; приносить (давать); выход; сглаживание; сохранение
(консервирование); вложение; результат; озабоченность; уступать;
уклонение; срединный; напористость; презрение; оборонительное
поведение; упрямое молчание; разъяснять; перефразирование;
подведение итога; социальная осведомленность; необъективный;
эмпатия; недооценка; подрыв; отрицание; наклон; поза; ответная
реакция; копирование; машинально чертить; воздерживаться от;
рассеянность; ерзание; самоанализ; опрометчивое решение; слишком
остро реагировать.
Activity 1: Read and translate the text:
Overcoming conflicts
A. Every time we interact with someone there is a potential for conflict
because people’s needs and expectations may not be the same. Before you
can resolve a conflict, or even decide on a strategy for resolving it, you need
to identify its source and therefore its type.
Some examples of causes of breakdowns in communication can include
language differences, stereotyping, background noise, cultural differences,
jargon, weather conditions, emotional state, stress, alcohol, anger.
B. Conflict is classified into four types:
within an individual (personal conflicts): I would be best to seek a way
to let go of the anxiety through communicating with other people.
between two individuals (interpersonal): Coming up with adjustments
is necessary for managing this type of conflict. Calling in a mediator would
help so as to have it resolved.
Among individuals within a team (intragroup). conflict can be helpful
in coming up with decisions which will eventually allow them to reach their
objectives as a team. However, if the degree of conflict disrupts harmony
among the members, then some serious guidance from a different party will
be needed for it to be settled.
Among different teams within an organization (intergroup).
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Any conflict is an opportunity for growth. However, when draws back
productivity and gives way to more conflicts, then conflict management
would be needed to come up with a resolution.
C. Stages of conflict:
Here are the following stages of conflict: Discomfort Stage, Incidents Stage,
Misunderstandings Stage, Tension Level and Crisis Level.
D. Steps to conflict resolution:
For resolving a conflict you can use eight-step conflict resolution process:
STEP 1: to call a meeting with all the individuals involved in the conflict.
STEP 2: to establish discussion rules. For example, “The goal is to find a
mutually acceptable solution.”
STEP 3: to define the problem clearly in terms of needs by each party.
STEP 4: to develop possible solutions.
STEP 5: to select a mutually beneficial solution from among those
suggested.
STEP 6: to develop an action plan, who will do what, by when, and how to
implement the resolution of the conflict. This is a vital step. Without it,
conflict could easily flare up again.
STEP 7: to implement the plan and monitor the plan in action.
STEP 8: to evaluate the conflict resolution process in general and the
resolution of this conflict specifically. Did the process yield an effective,
positive result? Were employees involved satisfied with the resolution? Will
your efforts help to eliminate or at least minimize this type of conflict in the
future?
E. There are five main strategies for dealing with conflicts, all of which
can be considered in terms of who wins and who loses:
1) Compete or fight
This is the classic win/lose situation, where the strength and power of one
person wins the conflict. It has its place, but anyone using it needs to be
aware that it will create a loser and if that loser has no outlet for expressing
their concerns, then it will lead to bad feeling.
2) Collaboration
This is the ideal outcome: a win/win situation. However, it requires input
of time from those involved to work through the difficulties, and find a way
to solve the problem that is agreeable to all.
3) Compromise or negotiation
This is likely to result in a better result than win/lose, but it’s not quite
win/win. Both parties give up something, in favour of an agreed mid-point
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solution. It takes less time than collaboration, but is likely to result in less
commitment to the outcome.
4) Smoothing over the problem. On the surface, harmony is maintained,
but underneath, there is still conflict. One person is probably OK with this
smoothing, while the other remains in conflict, creating a win/lose situation
again. It can work where preserving a relationship is more important than
dealing with the conflict right now, but is not useful if others feel the need
to deal with the situation.
5) Denial or avoidance This is where everyone pretends there is no
problem. It’s helpful if those in conflict need time to ‘cool down’ before
any discussion. It will create a lose/lose situation, since there will still be
bad feeling, but no clearing the air through discussion, and results are ‘I’m
not OK, you’re not OK’.
Each strategy requires specific skills.
Competing skills: • Arguing or debating • Using rank, position, or influence
• Asserting your opinions and feelings • Standing your ground
• Stating your position clearly
Collaborating skills: • Ability to listen, understand, and empathize •
Nonthreatening confrontation • Input analysis • Identifying underlying
concerns
Compromising skills: • Negotiating • Finding a “middle ground” • Making
concessions • Assessing value
Avoiding skills: • Withdrawing • Sidestepping • Sense of timing • Ability to
leave things unresolved
Accommodating skills:
• Forgoing your desires • Selflessness • Obedience • Ability to yield
Conflict resolution styles are based on the issue, the situation, the
significance of the relationship, and personal values. The style one chooses
directly affects the conflict’s outcome. If you are a leader who must deal
with conflict on a regular basis, you may find your style to be a blend of
styles.
F. Essential skills for handling conflict:
Possibly the most important skill is assertiveness. You need to be able to
express your views clearly and firmly, but without aggression. One model to
use is ‘Describe the situation, Express your feelings and Specify what you
want done’.
You also need to practice active listening. It is important that the ‘active
listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening - otherwise the speaker may conclude
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