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Eugene Aram

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EUGENE ARAM
“Of caution! you alarm me, Walter; speak, has aught hap­pened to him? I saw him as lately as yourself. Does aught threaten him? Speak, I implore you, — quick?”
“I know ofno danger to him!” replied Walter, stung to perceive the breathless anxiety with which Madeline spoke; “but pause, my cousin, may there be no danger to you from this man?”
“Walter!”
“I grant him wise, learned, gentle, — nay, more than all, bearing about him a spell, a fascination, by which he softens, or awes at will, and which even I cannot resist. But yet his ab­stracted mood, his gloomy life, certain words that have bro­ken from him unawares, — certain tell-tale emotions, which words ofmine, heedlessly said, have fi ercely aroused, all unit­ed, inspire me, — shall I say it, — with fear and distrust. I can­not think him altogether the calm and pure being he appears. Madeline, I have asked myself again and again, is this suspi­cion the effect ofjealousy? do I scan his bearing with the jaun­diced eye ofdisappointed rivalship? And I have satisfi ed my conscience that my judgment is not thus biassed. Stay! listen yet a little while! You have a high — a thoughtful mind. Ex­ert it now. Consider your whole happiness rests on one step! Pause, examine, compare! Remember, you have not ofAram, as ofthose whom you have hitherto mixed with, the eye-wit­ness ofa life! You can know but little ofhis real temper, his secret qualities; still less ofthe tenor ofhis former life. I only ask ofyou, for your own sake, for my sake, your sister’s sake, and your good father’s, not to judge too rashly! Love him, if you will; but observe him!”
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“Have you done?” said Madeline, who had hitherto with diffi culty contained herself; “then hear me. Was it I? was it Madeline Lester whom you asked to play the watch, to enact the spy upon the man whom she exults in loving? Was it not enough that you should descend to mark down each incau­tious look — to chronicle every heedless word — to draw dark deductions from the unsuspecting confi dence ofmy father’s friend — to lie in wait — to hang with a foe’s malignity upon the unbendings offamiliar intercourse — to extort anger from gentleness itself, that you might wrest the anger into crime! Shame, shame upon you, for the meanness! And must you also suppose that I, to whose trust he has given his noble heart, will receive it only to play the eavesdropper to its secrets? Away!”
The generous blood crimsoned the cheek and brow ofthis high-spirited girl as she uttered her galling reproof; her eyes sparkled, her lip quivered, her whole frame seemed to have grown larger with the majesty ofi ndignant love.
“Cruel, unjust, ungrateful!” ejaculated Walter, pale with rage, and trembling under the confl ict ofhis roused and wounded feelings. “Is it thus you answer the warning oftoo disinterested and self-forgetful a love?”
“Love!” exclaimed Madeline. “Grant me patience! — Love! It was but now I thought myself honoured by the affection you said you bore me. At this instant, I blush to have called forth a single sentiment in one who knows so little what love is! Love! — methought that word denoted all that was high and noble in human nature — confi dence, hope, devotion, sacrifi ce ofall thought ofself! but you would make it the type and concentration ofall that lowers and debases! — suspi-
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cion — cavil — fear — selfi shness in all its shapes! Out on you — love!”
“Enough, enough! Say no more, Madeline, say no more. We part not as I had hoped; but be it so. You are changed in­deed, if your conscience smite you not hereafter for this injus­tice. Farewell, and may you never regret, not only the heart you have rejected, but the friendship you have belied.” With these words, and choked by his emotions, Walter hastily strode away.
He hurried into the house, and into a little room adjoin­ing the chamber in which he slept, and which had been also appropriated solely to his use. It was now spread with boxes and trunks, some half packed, some corded, and inscribed with the address to which they were to be sent in London. All these mute tokens ofhis approaching departure struck upon his ex­cited feelings with a suddenness that overpowered him.
“And it is thus — thus,” said he aloud, “that I am to leave, for the fi rst time, my childhood’s home.”
He threw himself on his chair, and covering his face with his hands, burst, fairly subdued and unmanned, into a parox­ysm oftears.
When this emotion was over, he felt as if his love for Mad­eline had also disappeared; a sore and insulted feeling was all that her image now recalled to him. This idea gave him some consolation. “Thank God!” he muttered, “thank God, I am cured at last!”
The thanksgiving was scarcely over, before the door opened softly, and Ellinor, not perceiving him where he sat, entered the room, and laid on the table a purse which she had
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long promised to knit him, and which seemed now designed as a parting gift.
She sighed heavily as she laid it down, and he observed that her eyes seemed red as with weeping.
He did not move, and Ellinor left the room without discov­ering him; but he remained there till dark, musing on her ap­parition, and before he went down-stairs, he took up the little purse, kissed it, and put it carefully into his bosom.
He sate next to Ellinor at supper that evening, and though he did not say much, his last words were more to her than words had ever been before. When he took leave ofher for the night, he whispered, as he kissed her cheek; “God bless you, dearest Ellinor, and till I return, take care ofyour­self, for the sake ofone, who loves you now, better than any thing on earth.”
Lester had just left the room to write some letters for Walter; and Madeline, who had hitherto sat absorbed and silent by the window, now approached Walter, and offered him her hand.
“Forgive me, my dear cousin,” she said, in her softest voice. “I feel that I was hasty, and to blame. Believe me, I am now at least grateful, warmly grateful, for the kindness ofy­our motives.”
“Not so,” said Walter, bitterly, “the advice ofa friend is only meanness.”
“Come, come, forgive me; pray, do not let us part unkind­ly. When did we ever quarrel before? I was wrong, grievously wrong — I will perform any penance you may enjoin.”
“Agreed then, follow my admonitions.”
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“Ah! any thing else,” said Madeline, gravely, and colouring deeply.
Walter said no more; he pressed her hand lightly and turned away.
“Is all forgiven?” said she, in so bewitching a tone, and with so bright a smile, that Walter, against his conscience, an­swered, “Yes.”
The sisters left the room. I know not which ofthe two re­ceived his last glance.
Lester now returned with the letters. “There is one charge, my dear boy,” said he, in concluding the moral injunctions and experienced suggestions with which the young generally leave the ancestral home (whether practically benefi ted or not by the legacy, may be matter ofquestion) — “there is one charge which I need not entrust to your ingenuity and zeal. You know my strong conviction, that your father, my poor brother, still lives. Is it necessary for me to tell you to exert yourself by all ways and in all means to discover some clue to his fate? Who knows,” added Lester, with a smile, “but that you may fi nd him a rich nabob. I confess that I should feel but little surprise if it were so; but at all events you will make every possible inquiry. I have written down in this paper the few particulars concern­ing him which I have been enabled to glean since he left his home; the places where he was last seen, the false names he assumed, I shall watch with great anxiety for any fuller suc­cess to your researches.”
“You needed not, my dear uncle,” said Walter seriously, “to have spoken to me on this subject. No one, not even yourself, can have felt what I have; can have cherished the same anxiety,
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nursed the same hope, indulged the same conjecture. I have not, it is true, often ofl ate years spoken to you on a matter so near to us both, but I have spent whole hours in guesses at my father’s fate, and in dreams that for me was reserved the proud task to discover it. I will not say indeed that it makes at this moment the chief motive for my desire to travel, but in trav­el it will become my chief object. Perhaps I may fi nd him not only rich, — that for my part is but a minor wish, — but so­bered and reformed from the errors and wildness ofhis ear­lier manhood. Oh, what should be his gratitude to you for all the care with which you have supplied to the forsaken child the father’s place; and not the least, that you have, in softening the colours ofhis conduct, taught me still to prize and seek for a father’s love!”
“You have a kind heart, Walter,” said the good old man, pressing his nephew’s hand, “and that has more than repaid me for the little I have done for you; it is better to sow a good heart with kindness, than a fi eld with corn, for the heart’s har­vest is perpetual.”
Many, keen, and earnest were that night the medita­tions ofWalter Lester. He was about to quit the home in which youth had been passed, in which fi rst love had been formed and blighted: the world was before him; but there was some­thing more grave than pleasure, more steady than enterprise, that beckoned him to its paths. The deep mystery that for so many years had hung over the fate ofhis parent, it might in­deed be his lot to pierce; and with a common waywardness in our nature, the restless son felt his interest in that parent the livelier from the very circumstance ofremembering noth-
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ing ofhis person. Affection had been nursed by curiosity and imagination, and the bad father was thus more fortunate in winning the heart ofthe son, than had he perhaps, by the ten­derness ofyears, deserved that affection.
Oppressed and feverish, Walter opened the lattice of­his room, and looked forth on the night. The broad harvest­moon was in the heavens, and fi lled the air as with a softer and holier day. At a distance its light just gave the dark out­line ofAram’s house, and beneath the window it lay bright and steady on the green, still church-yard that adjoined the house. The air and the light allayed the fi tfulness at the young man’s heart, but served to solemnize the project and desire with which it beat. Still leaning from the casement, with his eyes fi xed upon the tranquil scene below, he poured forth a prayer, that to his hands might the discovery ofhis lost sire be grant­ed. The prayer seemed to lift the oppression from his breast; he felt cheerful and relieved, and fl inging himself on his bed, soon fell into the sound and healthful sleep ofyouth. And oh! let Youth cherish that happiest ofearthly boons while yet it is at its command; — for there cometh the day to all, when “neither the voice ofthe lute or the birds”
3
shall bring back the sweet slumbers that fell on their young eyes, as unbidden as the dews. It is a dark epoch in a man’s life when Sleep for­sakes him; when he tosses to and fro, and Thought will not be silenced; when the drug and draught are the courters ofstupe­faction, not sleep; when the down pillow is as a knotted log; when the eyelids close but with an effort, and there is a drag and a weight, and a dizziness in the eyes at morn. Desire and
3
Quotation from Horace.
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Grief, and Love, these are the young man’s torments, but they are the creatures ofTime; Time removes them as it brings, and the vigils we keep, “while the evil days come not,” if weary, are brief and few. But Memory, and Care, and Ambition, and Avarice, these are the demon-gods that defy the Time that fathered them. The worldlier passions are the growth ofma­ture years, and their grave is dug but in our own. As the dark Spirits in the Northern tale, that watch against the com­ing ofone ofa brighter and holier race, lest if he seize them unawares, he bind them prisoners in his chain, they keep ward at night over the entrance ofthat deep cave — the hu­man heart — and scare away the angel Sleep!
BOOK II