Effective Commenting on the Text (88
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The polluted area needed to be cleaned up before it was fit to house a monument to human culture and endeavour.
COMMENTARY
Speaking about monuments I must admit that they do remind people of their history, good or bad as the case may be. What seems really fantastic is the very idea of constructing the Millennium Dome in Greater London. Nobody will deny, it will be a magnificent monument to remember the new millennium by. Isn’t it curious enough that it was built on the very edge of the Greenwich Meridian, the world-known place from which the most nations coordinate their time?
Another thing that certainly amazes is that from 1871 until the early 1970s the site was a gas plant. The irony is that the polluted area undoubtedly needed to be cleaned up before it was fit to house a monument to human culture and effort.
It remains to say that as a matter of fact practical Britishers killed two birds with one stone. Sadly the reality is that the Dome is not used to its full capabilities and not very popular with Londoners. Although, who knows? Perhaps it will repeat the history of the Eiffel Tower of Paris.
It is obvious that at the expense of the underlined connectives, speech and sentence starters, the intensifying adverbs, verbs, the auxiliary, the idiom, syntactical emphatic constructions and some additional information too, the commentary is longer than the basic text. And what is more, these linguistic units clearly express the commentator’s attitudes to the text, make his/her performance personalized and convincing.
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Part III
SHORT TEXTS
As commenting is a text-based activity, it will only be natural to talk about syntactical types of texts. We are particularly interested in one-line texts for their obvious advantages, especially for beginning commentators. Indeed, they are rapidly read (a). When carefully chosen by the teacher, short texts use relatively simple language but often contain mature and complex ideas (b). Their very concision demands interpretation, analysis and expansion (c). This work can focus both on the thinking and the feeling sides of the student’s personality. Students are encouraged to relate the text to their own lives and previous experience. So we can very well say that with one-line texts minimum input leads to maximum output.
Among different kinds of text that usually contain not longer than one or two lines are aphorisms, sayings, proverbs, statements, judgments, quotations, headlines, graffiti. Here below are some of them, borrowed from Alan Maley’s book “Short Texts And How To Use Them”.
Aphorism: Experience is the comb god gives us when we are bald.
Proverb: Good news may be told at any time, but bad news only in the morning.
Judgment: The transition from school to university may be pain-
ful.
Quotation: The best is the enemy of the good. (Voltaire) Headline: “The High Price of Just Staying Alive.” The Newsweek,
5 August 1991. “Woman on the Upper Deck of Business.” The Times, 5 April 1990.
Graffiti: “You’re never alone with Schizophrenia.” “Silence, those who oppose freedom of speech!”
Below are the fully worked examples of one-line texts. For visual stimulation the structural pieces of commentary (p. 8) and the phrases form the Bank of Speech, Sentence Starters and Connectives (p. 26), used in them are graphically defined.
TEXT
The transition from school to university may be painful.
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COMMENTARY
1. Introduction.
Unfortunately it’s true, the transition from school to university, quite a new society, may be fairly painful for some young people.
2. Expansion of the theme.
a)Analysis.
The trouble is that a student has to live away from home for the first time. As a matter of fact, no one will order him/her to work or tell what to do next. As a result you may face a lot of difficulties around. To make things still worse you may miss home very much and feel melancholic and miserable. It’s clear that you will need your sense of responsibility to cope with the problems.
b) Reference to other views, experience.
Some people say that your first term on the campus may be rather disappointing. I know it from my mother’s experience who left her small native town for Moscow State University. No wonder the beginning of her academic year didn’t make her happy at all. According to her words it had taken a lot of time and patience to get used to the new environment before her life on the campus became really full, exciting and enjoyable.
c)Additional material on the theme.
It’s remarkable that at some British universities each student has a personal tutor. I think, it’s hard to overestimate his/her role especially in the beginner’s first term. As far as I know, personal tutors help to organize students’ time and work as well as to find their way about the campus. It seems that in some way tutors make up for parents. Isn’t it great?!
Another challenge, which students though readily accept, is selfcatering system. It certainly takes time to get used to it, but, after all, there is nothing wrong with self-service system. In a way, it teaches to be independent, well-organized and eventually mature, that is, at least, my opinion.
3. Conclusion. Suggestions.
I strongly believe, in order to save children from possible trouble and discomfort on the campus, the parents in the first place shouldn’t be over-protective to them at home. More than that, they should involve young people into different domestic duties that will certainly make them more practical and competent in every day life.
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It remains to say that whatever the difficulties of living on the campus, the student will surely gain some very useful experience which actually suggests that in the future a young person will be resistant to hardships and ready for all sorts of challenges.
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TEXT
“When a man is tired of London, he’s tired of life.” (Samuel Johnson)
COMMENTARY
1.Introduction.
I must admit that there is some point in this judgment. It’s really difficult to imagine someone to be tired of one of the greatest cities of the world, the city that can hopefully offer anything to anybody.
It’s a common fact that London dominates British life. It is indeed the home of the nation’s commerce and finance, it is also the main centre of its legal system and the press. Besides, no one will deny that it has the largest possibilities for entertainment and sport in Great Britain.
However if you still feel bored, tired and out of place in London, I’m afraid there must be something wrong with you then. Nevertheless, look around and you are sure to find a lot of places of interest that will certainly smooth your discomfort or whatever it may be.
2. Expansion.
a)Analysis.
The trouble is that if you are a local citizen who every weekday hurries to work and back home, then, perhaps, you will have little time to look up and enjoy this or that place of interest. Moreover you may have seen it a hundred times. It’s clear that a local may find sightseeing a mere waste of time. But it’s quite different when it comes to visiting London for the first time. Then I suppose a visitor is looking ahead to seeing as many attractions of London as possible.
b) Other views.
Lovers of painting will surely send you to the Victoria and Albert Museum, as they sincerely believe that there is hardly anything like its masterpieces of fine and applied arts, including Constable’s paintings, an unforgettable collection of ceramics and metalwork.
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By the way those who regularly visit London on business or for pleasure will definitely recommend going to Hyde Park or Kensington Gardens, or Green Park especially, if you want to have a rest from sightseeing or London’s traffic or crowds. People say the parks and other green spaces of London can guarantee you a quiet and peaceful rest as well as the unforgettable beauty and comfort of the English landscape.
Those who have been in Hyde Park find it absolutely amazing that within a few yards of the traffic of a busy city you can admire the shady alleys, lakes, lawns, old trees, flowers and, what is more, you can see swans and ducks, floating on the ponds and have squirrels eating off your hand.
c)Additional material.
No doubt, London can really boast of many remarkable sights such as Nelson’s Column in Trafalgar Square, the Tower of London, Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral and so on.
And what especially surprises a visitor here is that in each place one will get in touch with Britain’s history itself.
It’s true that a visit to, let’s say, Westminster Palace, the seat of British Parliament, will give you a clear idea of Britain’s legal system. In addition to that you will certainly be impressed by the gothic architecture of the building, let alone, its tower clock, Big Ben, that symbolically represent a visiting card of the capital.
For linguists it will be rather interesting to learn that one of the attractions of Hyde Park is called Rotten Row. One must admit that the name for a horse riding track sounds at least a little funny if not ridiculous. The point is that the phrase is the corruption of the French roi-de-ria (king’s road).
There is still another reason for visiting Hyde Park. It is Speakers’ Corner that you should see, especially, if you have heard or read about it before. You can even speak up on some issue here, if there are a few agreeable listeners. Sadly however, people say, it isn’t as popular nowadays as it used to be.
3. Conclusion.
Unfortunately it’s hardly possible to see all the sights and attractions of London for a few days. But, what is quite clear is that, there are enough of them here to satisfy everybody’s interest. Additionally, sightseeing gives you an excellent chance to widen your outlooks. And as a result, the more you learn about people, other countries, their traditions and customs the more tolerant and open you become to others. Isn’t it the main idea of communication?
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What has been said can very well bring us back to the parallel between London and life itself. Personally I suppose whatever your troubles, London, with its great opportunities, will surely set your mind to optimism. By the way, my feeling is that it doesn’t matter much whether you are a Londoner or a visitor here.
So in the end it remains to say that such a perspective makes room for positive surprises and no room for tiredness and boredom when you are in London.
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By way of recommendation. At the initial stage commenting skills may be practiced orally or in written form or both.
Oral method. In class the students suggest their own variants of each six-piece structure of commentary. They choose the suitable phrases from the Bank of Speech and Sentence Starters and Connectives and fulfill all the above requirements for effective commenting. The work is followed by the teacher’s assessment and recommendations.
Written method. The students write their commentaries at home with the teacher’s further marking and discussing the results in class. Here it is important for the students to define graphically both the structure of commentary and the phrases from the Bank, as this visual self-control stimulates their variety.
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These fully worked examples of one-line texts will hopefully enable students to approach longer texts.
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Part IV
LONG TEXTS
One may ask how much of the long text should be commented on? The answer is simple: only those points that have thematic value, interest or importance. The number of points is prompted by the structure of the text itself. As it is admittedly known, the text is built up of paragraphs which contain the main points (basic ideas). By the way, the longer the paragraph is, the more points to comment on it may contain. If the text is paragraphed, it clearly suggests a certain outline, if not, you have to paragraph the text yourself.
TEXT
1.In the northwest of England one can see a great number of big and small lakes, altogether about 200, no wonder, this comparatively small area is called the Lake District. This is one of the most beautiful parts of England because, in addition to the lakes themselves, there are green valleys, wooded hills and waterfalls.
2.As there is boating, bathing and fishing to be had, many people prefer the lakes to the seaside holiday. There are no big cities very near the lakes, but a lot of small towns with hotels for visitors. Those who want quieter places to stay at can usually find rooms in a village or a farmhouse.
3.Some people go to see the places where Wordsworth lived and worked, some are satisfied with admiring the scenery, others climb the hills to get better views, and all try to see as much as they can in a short time, and even though they cannot make their homes in the District, they can take away with them memories of its beauty.
The algorithm of commenting on a long text includes three steps:
Step I. Make an outline of the text as suggested by its paragraphing:
Paragraph 1 describes the geographical position of the Lake District.
Paragraph 2 describes opportunities for rest.
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Paragraph 3 describes some other opportunities for rest and ends up with visitors’ impression of their holiday.
Step II. Choose and phrase in each paragraph the most essential points for commenting:
Paragraph 1 contains the total number of lakes which is really amazing for such a comparatively small area as the Lake District. It also focuses on what exactly makes the beauty of the District so singular (2 points).
Paragraph 2 describes the opportunities of the Lakeland that attract those who prefer to stay away from the glamour of big popular resorts (1 point).
Paragraph 3 (one long sentence) introduces the name of William Wordsworth that naturally brings about romantic and poetic associations. It also contains the idea of making a home in the Lake District and ends up with an optimistic note (2 points).
Altogether in the three paragraphs there are 5 points to comment on:
1.The total number of the lakes.
2.Things that make the beauty of the District so singular.
3.Opportunities offered by the Lakeland to its admirers.
4.William Wordsworth.
5.A home in the Lake District.
Step III. Each point should be commented on according to the structure of commentary (p. 8) and with the usage of the bank of connectives and speech starters (p. 26).
As a prompt, you may refer to the fully worked example of a one-line text on page 13.
COMMENTARY
1.The total number of the lakes.
Introduction.
It’s common knowledge that England is one of the four home nations of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. It may seem surprising that though England is only 235.000 sq km, there is a great variety of scenery here and a lot of places worth seeing. So, for example, a look at the northwest of England will show you a small area, only 55 km across, that borders on Scotland in the north and is washed by the Irish Sea in the west. There is a good reason to call it the Lake District. The fact is that there are over 200 lakes on this comparatively small area.
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Expansion.
A glance at Lake Windermere is enough to see that it is the largest and extremely picturesque. By the way the name itself reminds of the name of Oscar Wilde’s play “Lady Windermere’s Fan”. Isn’t it remarkable that the writer gave place names to his character? It’s necessary to note that due to such a great number of lakes and the influence of the Gulf Stream of the Atlantic Ocean, the climate of the District is mild and favourable for vegetation. By the way it makes one remember a lakeland in Canada with its Five Great Lakes: Ontario, Superior, St. Laurence, Hudson and Eri.
Conclusion.
Though visitors to the Lake District sometimes grumble about wet and rainy weather, few will deny the unforgettable beauty of its lakes. Besides such proverbs as “Be thankful together whatever the weather” and “There is no bad weather, there are bad clothes” will surely encourage a visitor.
2.Things that make the beauty of the District so singular.
Introduction.
According to the text it is not only lakes that make the place very attractive, but its green valleys, wooded hills and waterfalls.
Expansion.
It will be interesting to add that the Lake District is one of England’s few mountainous regions. The Cumbrian Mountains with their highest peak, Scafell Pike, rising up to 975 m, give a good chance for amateur walkers and climbers to enjoy an active holiday.
The fact that speaks about Englishmen’s love for nature is that the Lake District is one of twelve National Parks in the UK. Fortunately the area contains much wild life which is absolutely unique in England. Remarkably it is a home of the red squirrel, colonies of insect-eating plants, the golden eagle and some rare fish in the lakes.
Conclusion.
No wonder all that makes the place extremely picturesque and, hopefully, it will remain such for a long time, so that further generations could enjoy its beauty and comfort.
3.Opportunities offered by the Lake District to its admirers.
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Introduction.
As it’s well-known, tastes differ. And it is really amazing that England can offer a variety of resting places to satisfy all. Indeed, some prefer the austere beauty of the Scottish Highlands, others choose the noise and glamour of the popular resorts at the seaside with expensive hotels, restaurants, casinos and other places of entertainment.
Expansion.
It’s clear to everybody that with such a lot of big and small lakes, this country is a great place for boating, bathing and fishing. One can also take a steamer boat trip up and down the second largest lake (14.5 km long and 2 km wide) Ullswater. It’s interesting to note that, as English people believe, it can very well beat Lake Lucerne in Switzerland.
Similarly a visitor can explore the area with a guide-book in his hand or enjoy a guided walking excursion. Isn’t it exciting to walk along a path of about 4 km that at one point runs through a rock tunnel?
Conclusion.
The enormous range of relaxing experience offered by the natural beauty of this country will hopefully give everyone harmony of mind and soul, the harmony, once enjoyed here by the English poets of the so-called Lake School.
4.William Wordsworth.
Introduction.
Indeed, the Lake District is closely connected with the Lake Trio of famous poets: William Wordsworth, Robert Southy and Samuel Coleridge. The fact is that they lived here and glorified the beautiful nature of the place in their poems.
Expansion.
It’s necessary to point out that William Wordsworth was the leader of this group. No doubt he was greatly inspired by the picturesque landscapes with their golden daffodils, daisy fields, heather-covered moors, wooden hills, peaceful lakes, meadows and pastures. Isn’t it amazing that his poems give a vivid picture of the splendid views of the District?
Besides, it will be really exciting to learn that it was William Wordsworth who published his “Guide to the Lakes” in 1810 which greatly
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