Etiquette

The people tell the story of the sparrow and the cat,

The feline thin and hungry and the bird exceeding fat.

With eager, famished energy and claws of gripping steel,

Puss pounced upon the spar tow and prepared to make a meal.

The sparrow never struggled when he knew that he was caught

(If somewhat slow in action he was mighty quick of thought),

But chirped in simple dignity that seemed to fit the case,

"No gentleman would ever eat before he washed his face!"

This hint against his manners wounded Tommy like a knife

For cats are great observers of the niceties of life;

He paused to lick his paws, which seemed the proper thing to do.

When, chirruping derisively, away the sparrow flew!

In helpless, hopeless hunger at the sparrow on the bough

Poor Tommy glowered longingly and vowed a solemn vow:

"Henceforth I'll eat my dinner first, then wash myself!"

and that's

The universal etiquette for educated cats.

Arthur Guiterman

• Listen to the fable “The Stag’s Antlers” by Aesop. Mark the boundaries of the sense-groups and the tunes. It is not expected that each student will intone the text in the same way. Practise reading each sentence after the tape-recorder.

The stag's antlers

A stag admired his reflection in a pool of water one day. "My! But my antlers are very handsome", he thought. "Just look at my poor skinny legs, though. They look as if they could hardly bear my weight". Just then a lion leaped from the bushes at the edge of the water hole, and the frightened stag ran across the open field. He could run much faster than the lion, who was quickly left behind. But when the stag ran into the forest at the other side of the field, he ran into trouble. His antlers became tangled in some vines hanging from a tree. As the lion was catching up with him, the stag struggled frantically to free himself, and thought: "What a fool I am! As long as I could use my skinny legs, I could outrun that lion. But here I am now, trapped by the antlers I admired so much".

• Listen to your fellow-students reading the text. Be ready to analyse his/her reproduction according to the following parameters:

Characteristic features	Declamatory style
Varieties of representation	a) reading aloud a piece of descriptive prose (the author’s speech); b) the author’s reproduction of actual conversation (the speech of the characters).
Intonation patterns	Low/ High Pre- Head	Stepping Head broken Stepping Head Heterogeneous Head descending sequence of syllables interrupted by several falls.	Law Fall High Fall Fall-Rise Low Rise Rise-Fall Mid-Level
The speed of utterance	a) relatively slow; b) normal or reduced
Rhythm	a) even and regular
Pauses	a) semantically or syntactically predictable; b) long

• You are an actor of the student’s amateur theatrical group. You’re rehearsing the play “The Man of Destiny” by G. B. Shaw. Demonstrate your acting skills as nicely as you can. Take into account the author’s suggestion as to how the text should be read (the playwright’s remarks).

A little inn in North Italy. Napoleon has just put under arrest the lieutenant who arrived without the letters and dispatches he had been sent for, saying that an unknown youth had tricked him out of them.

The Lady’s voice (outside, as before): Giuseppe!

Lieutenant (petrified): What was that?

Giuseppe: Only a lady upstairs, lieutenant, calling me.

Lieutenant: Lady! It’s his voice, I tell you.

The Strange Lady steps in. She is tall and extraordinarily graceful with a delicately intelligent face: character in the chin: all keen, refined, and original. She’s very feminine, but by no means weak.

Lieutenant: So I’ve got you, my lad. So you’ve disguised yourself, have you? (In a voice of thunder, seizing her wrist). Take off that skirt.

Lady (affrighted, but highly indignant at his having dared to touch her): Gentleman: I appeal to you (To Napoleon.) You, sir, are an officer: a general. You will protect me, will you not?

Lieutenant: Never you mind him, General. Leave me to deal with him.

Napoleon: With him! With whom, sir? Why do you treat this lady in such a fashion?

Lieutenant: Lady! He’s a man! The man I showed my confidence in. (Raising his sword.) Here, you ‒

Lady (running behind Napoleon and in her agitation clasping to her breast the arm which he extends before her as a fortification): Oh, thank you, General. Keep him away.

Napoleon: Nonsense, sir. This is certainly a lady and you are under arrest. Put down your sword, sir, instantly. I order you to leave the room.

Giuseppe (discreetly): Come, lieutenant. (He opens the door and followers the lieutenant).

Lady: How can I thank you, General, for your protection?

Napoleon (turning on her suddenly): My dispatches: come! (He puts out his hand for them.)

Lady: General! (She involuntarily puts her hands on her fichu as if to protect something there.)

Napoleon: You tricked that blockhead out of them. You disguised yourself as a man. I want my dispatches. They are there in the bosom of your dress under your hands.

Lady (quickly removing her hands): Oh, how unkindly you are speaking to me! (She takes her handkerchief from her fichu) You frighten me. (She touches her eyes as if to wipe away a tear.)

Napoleon: I see you don’t know me, madam, or you would save yourself the trouble of pretending to cry.

Lady (producing an effect of smiling through her tears): Yes, I do know you. You are the famous General Buonaparte.

Napoleon (angrily): The papers, if you please.

Lady: But I assure you ‒ (He snatches the handkerchief rudely.) General! (Indignantly.)

Napoleon (taking the other handkerchief from his breast): You lent one of your handkerchiefs to my lieutenant when you robbed him. (He looks at the two handkerchiefs.) The same scent. (He flings them down on the table.) I am waiting for my dispatches. I shall take them, if necessary, with as little ceremony as I took the handkerchief.

Lady (in dignified reproof): General: do you threaten women?

Napoleon (bluntly): Yes. (Holding out his hand.) Yes: I am waiting for them.

Lady : General: I only want to keep one little private letter. Only one. Let me have it.

Napoleon (cold and stern): Is that a reasonable demand, madam?

Lady (relaxed by his not refusing point blank): No, but that is why you must grant it. Are your own demands reasonable? Thousands of lives for the sake of your victories, your ambitions, your destiny! And what I ask is such a little thing. And I am only a weak woman, and you a brave man. What is the secret of your power? Only that you believe in yourself. You can fight and conquer for yourself and for nobody else. You are not afraid of your own destiny. You teach us what we all might be if we had the will and courage: and that (suddenly sinking on knees before him) is why we all begin to worship you. (She kisses his hands.)

Napoleon (embarrassed): Tut! Tut! Pray rise, madam.

Lady: My Emperor!

Napoleon (overcome, raising her): Pray! Pray! No, no: this is folly. Come: be calm, be calm. (Petting her) There! There! My girl.