Enjoy yourself jokes and riddles

1. The Perfect Son.

A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he ever come home late?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

2. Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet.

3. A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

4. My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

5. The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’

The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’

The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too...’

6. One day an English grammar teacher was looking ill. A student asked, "What's the matter?" "Tense," answered the teacher, describing how he felt. The student paused, then continued, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter...?"

7. Teacher: Rumiko, be careful your purse is open. Someone might take your money!

Rumiko: Oh, no. I left it open so I can get more money. Teacher: How can you get more money? Rumiko: The weather report said we would have some change in our weather!

8. Boyfriend: What is your favorite music group? Girlfriend: I love U2!

Boyfriend: I love you too, but what is your favorite music group?

9. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "So what's with the long face?"

10. I hear this new cemetry is very popular. People are just dying to get in.

11. One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb. When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm decomposing!".

12. There is this man who meets a fairy. He is granted three wishes. Having wished for his most urgent needs the man uses his third wish to ask the fairy to return and give him three more wishes. The fairy complies and says: "You can call me whenever you want." "How can I call you? Please tell me your name." the man says. "My name is Nuff," says the fairy. "Well", says the man "That is an odd name. I have never heard of it before." The fairy replies, "Surely you will have heard of Fairy Nuff." (fair enough)

Riddles of Alphabet

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand

years?

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?

Q: Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Q: Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?

Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?

Q: Which room has no doors, no windows.

Communicative fluency communicative fluency activities

Hotel receptionist

Aims Skills – speaking (reading comprehension

Language – all kinds of questions, expressing understanding, asking for con-

firmation

Other – observation, fun

Level Intermediate

Organisation Class, groups of five to eight students

Preparation At least as many messages as there are students, on small slips of paper

Time 15-20 minutes

Procedure Step 1: The teacher explains the situation.

'The setting is a hotel in an English-speaking country. A guest staying at the hotel has a very bad cold and has lost his voice. He therefore has to communicate with the hotel receptionist by miming.'

In the first two or three rounds the teacher takes the part of the hotel receptionist. The guest is played by one of the students. This student draws a slip of paper with a message on (e.g. It's very cold in my room. I can't turn the radiators on. Could you send someone up to have a look?) and, playing the part of the guest, mimes his request while the hotel receptionist guesses (e.g. Are you cold? No? I see your room is cold. Have you tried to turn on the heating? etc.). The rest of the class should help the teacher (receptionist) figure out the request. The receptionist's task is finished when he has found out the exact message. (In the example given above the statement: 'You are cold and the heating is not on' would not be enough.)

Step 2: The students are divided into groups. The members of each group sit in a circle and take turns to play the guest and the hotel receptionist. Each group has a supply of messages to draw from.

Variations 1: The setting is changed to a Lost Property Office where students have to claim objects they have lost. The objects are written on small pieces of paper.

2: In addition to miming, drawing may be allowed.

Possible messages I have to catch an early train tomorrow. Could I be woken at 5.30 a.m., please?

I am going out now. I am expecting a phone call from my wife. Could you please tell her that I've lost my voice and have written a letter to her?

I have forgotten the number of my room.

Where is the nearest post office?

Can you get two opera tickets for tomorrow night? But only if there are seats in the first fifteen rows.

Can you change a £5 note into 10р pieces?

I'd like to go on a sightseeing tour round the town tomorrow.

When do they leave? How long do they take and how much do they cost?

Is there a heated indoor swimming pool in the town? How far is it?

Somebody has put a crocodile in my bath. Please come quickly.

There's a very funny noise coming from the room next to mine. I'm afraid that somebody might be ill.