English Grammar Workbook for "dummies" - Geraldine Woods

Chapter 17

Apples and Oranges:

Improper Comparisons

In This Chapter

Avoiding incomplete or illogical comparisons

Handling double comparisons

You can’t compare apples and oranges, according to the old saying, but that error is only one of many common comparison mistakes. Sitting in the bleachers at Yankee

Stadium, I once heard a fan compare the Yankee shortstop, Derek Jeter, to “the Yankee players.” The imaginary umpire I conjured up, the one who knows the rules of grammar as thoroughly as the rules of baseball, immediately screamed, “Foul! You should have compared Jeter to ‘the other Yankee players.’” (The real me kept her mouth shut. My reputation for nerdiness is bad enough as it is.)

Chapter 16 explains oneor two-word comparisons; this chapter takes you through more complicated situations, including illogical comparisons like the Jeter comment and incomplete comparisons. You can also practice double comparisons, a sentence construction for people who like to hedge their bets. As they say in Yankee Stadium, play ball!

No One Likes to Feel Incomplete, and Neither Do Comparisons

By definition, a comparison discusses two elements in relation to each other or singles out the extreme in a group and explains exactly what form the extremism takes. For example,

She throws more pies than I do or Of all the clowns, she throws the most pies. A comparison may also examine something in relation to a standard, as in Her comment was so sugary that I had to take an extra shot of diabetes medication.

A comparison may be any of these things, but what it may not be is partially absent. If someone says, “The snapper is not as fresh” or “The sea bass is most musical,” you’re at sea. As fresh as what? Most musical in comparison to whom? You have no way of knowing.

Of course, in context these sentences may be perfectly all right:

I considered the snapper but in the end went with the flounder. The snapper is not as fresh.

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In the preceding example, the reader understands that the second sentence is a continuation of the first. Also, some words in a comparison may be implied, without loss of meaning. Take a look at this sentence:

The snapper makes fewer snotty comments than a large-mouth bass does.

The italicized word in the preceding sentence may be left out — and frequently is — without confusing the reader. And that’s the key: The reader must have enough information to understand the comparison.

So may also mean therefore, in which case it doesn’t pair with that. In informal speech, so may also be the equivalent of very, as in I was so tired. In formal English, however, so should be paired with that when it creates a comparison.

Read the following sentence; see whether you can catch an incomplete comparison. If the sentence is correct, write “correct” in the blank. If not, rewrite the sentence to complete the comparison. You may come up with thousands of possible answers, a further illustration of why incomplete comparisons make for poor communication. I give two suggested answers for the example, but only one suggested answer for the exercises that follow, because I can’t cover everything. Check your answer by determining whether your comparison is clear and complete.

Q. “There are more fish in the sea,” commented the grouper as she searched for her posse.

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A. “There are more fish in the sea than you know,” commented the grouper as she searched for her posse. Or, “There are more fish in the sea than on a restaurant menu,” commented the grouper as she searched for her posse. The key here is to define the term more. More than what? If you answer that question, you’re fine.

1. The trout, who is wealthier, spends a lot of money on rap CDs.

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2. The octopus has almost as much money but prefers to keep the trout at arm’s length.

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3. Mermaids are the most adept at financial planning, in my experience.

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4. On the other hand, mermaids are less competent at purchasing shoes.

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5. Not many people realize that mermaid tail fins are so sensitive.

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6. Whales are as fashion-challenged at shoe and accessory selection.

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7. This whole under-the-sea theme has become more boring.

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8. The marine jokes are so uninteresting.

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9. I will work harder at formulating new ideas.

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10. You can always boycott this chapter if you find the comedy less than satisfying.

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Being Smarter Than Yourself:

Illogical Comparisons

If I say that my favorite Yankee, Derek Jeter, is cuter than the Yankee players or better at turning double plays than the Yankees, I’m making an error that’s a lot worse than Derek’s occasional wild throw into the stands. Why? Because Derek is one of the players on the Yankees. According to the logic of those statements, Derek would have to be cuter or better than himself. The solution is simple. Insert other or else or a similar expression into the sentence. Then Derek becomes cuter than anyone else on the team or better at turning double plays than the other Yankees.

Don’t insert other or else if the comparison is between someone in the group and someone outside the group. I can correctly say that Derek is cuter than the Red Sox players because Derek isn’t a Red Sox player and he is cute.

Another form of illogic that pops up in comparisons is overkill: the use of both -er and more or less or -est and most or least. You can be either sillier or more silly, but not more sillier.

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Time for some comparison shopping. Check out the following sentences. If the comparison is logical, write “correct” in the blank. If the comparison is faulty, rewrite the sentence in the space provided. Because some sentences may be corrected in more than one way, your answer may differ from mine. Just be sure that your answers are logical.

Q. The average pigeon is smarter than any animal in New York City.

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A. The average pigeon is smarter than any other animal in New York City. Pigeons are animals, and pigeons flap all over New York. (I’ve even seen them on subway cars, where they wait politely for the next stop before waddling onto the platform.) Without the word other, pigeons are smarter than themselves. Penalty box! The insertion of other repairs the logic.

11.Despite the fact that they don’t use Metrocards, subway pigeons are no worse than any rider.

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12.Spotting a pigeon waiting for the subway door to open is no odder than anything you see on an average day in New York.

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13.On a midtown corner I once saw a woman shampooing her hair in the rain, an experience that was more weirder than anything else I’ve seen in my life.

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14.Singing a shower song with a thick New York accent, she appeared saner than city residents.

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15.A tourist gawking through the window of a sightseeing bus was more surprised than New Yorkers on the street.

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16. Is this story less believable than what you read in this book?

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17.You may be surprised to know that it is more firmly fact-based than the material in this chapter.

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18. Tourists to New York probably go home with stranger stories than visitors to big cities.

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19.New Yorkers themselves, of course, make worse tourists than travelers from large metropolitan areas.

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20. New Yorkers are more likely to become impatient than residents of small towns.

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Double Trouble: A Sentence Containing

More Than One Comparison

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes and no. Does this statement sound like something you’d say? If so, you probably employ double comparisons. Some examples:

The new sculpture is as fragile as the old one, if not more fragile.

Eleanor is almost as annoying as Sarah, if not equally annoying.

Carrie’s speech on tariff reduction was as complicated as, if not more complicated than, Jessica’s oration.

The preceding examples are correct because each falls into one of two categories:

The first comparison is completed before the second begins. The first two sentences in the preceding example set follow this pattern.

The beginning of both comparisons may be logically completed by the phrase at the end of the sentence. The third sample sentence in the preceding set falls into this category. The first comparison in that sentence begins with the statement as complicated as. Tack that statement to the conclusion of the comparison, Jessica’s oration, and you have a complete and logical comparison: as complicated as Jessica’s oration. The second comparison begins with more complicated than and is completed by the same statement, Jessica’s oration. Thus the second comparison is complete: more complicated than Jessica’s oration. Because both comparisons are completed by the same phrase, the sentence is correct.

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The most common mistake in double comparisons is to omit part of the first comparison:

Wrong: Carrie’s speech on tariff reduction was as complicated, if not more complicated than, Jessica’s oration.

Why it’s wrong: Each comparison must be completed by the same phrase at the end of the sentence. In the preceding sample sentence, the first comparison is not completed by the phrase at the end of the sentence. The way it is now, the first comparison reads as complicated Jessica’s oration. The word as is missing.

Right: Carrie’s speech on tariff reduction was as complicated as, if not more complicated than, Jessica’s oration.

Also right: Carrie’s speech on tariff reduction was as complicated as Jessica’s oration, if not more complicated.

Double comparisons are so annoying that you may be tempted to make up your mind and go for one statement only. I applaud that decision. But if you must give two alternatives, be sure that each is correct. Here’s an example and a practice set of exercises. If you find an error, rewrite the sentence. Note: More than one correction is possible with this sort of error. Just pick one way to rewrite.

Q. Celeste put as many people — if not even more people — to sleep as Elizabeth, even though Celeste’s speech was five minutes shorter.

A. Celeste put as many people to sleep as Elizabeth, if not even more than Elizabeth, even though Celeste’s speech was five minutes shorter. The two comparisons should be logically completed by the same phrase, but in the original sentence, the second comparison is faulty. The first comparison, Celeste put as many people to sleep as Elizabeth, is okay. The second comparison in the original sentence, If not even more people to sleep as Elizabeth, is illogical. The word than is missing. The corrected version supplies two complete comparisons.

21.Celeste described every, or even more than, the provisions of the Snooty-Harvey Tariff Law.

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22.Elizabeth concentrated on one of the most, if not the most important, provisions of the law.

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23. Celeste’s choice of subject matter was equally, if not more important, than Elizabeth’s.

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24. Elizabeth insisted on the same amount, or even more time, as Celeste.

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222 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons

Answers to Complicated

Comparison Problems

aThe trout, who is wealthier than the president of a Swiss bank, spends a lot of money on rap CDs. The problem with the original is that you can’t tell what or who is being compared to the trout. The missing element of the comparison must be supplied.

bThe octopus has almost as much money as the trout but prefers to keep the trout at arm’s length. The original sentence begins the comparison nicely (almost as much money as) and then flubs the ending (almost as much money as what? as who?). Supply an ending and you’re fine.

cMermaids are the most adept at financial planning of all marine mammals, in my experience. The original comparison doesn’t specify the group in which mermaids excel. Your answer must provide context.

dOn the other hand, mermaids are less competent at purchasing shoes than other mammals.

In the original, the reader is left to wonder about the basis of comparison. In the corrected sentence, the mermaids are compared to other mammals. Now the comparison is complete.

eNot many people realize that mermaid tail fins are as sensitive as a duck’s foot. The original sentence contains an incomplete comparison. As sensitive as what? Who knows? The suggested answer finishes the comparison by supplying another sensitive object.

fWhales are as fashion-challenged at shoe and accessory selection as mermaids. It doesn’t matter how you finish the comparison so long as you finish it. In the suggested answer I plugged in mermaids, but I could just as easily have placed myself or someone else. Your call.

gThis whole under-the-sea theme has become more boring than a lecture on the economics of pen nibs. Finish the comparison with your favorite example of excruciating boredom.

hThe marine jokes are so uninteresting that I may never go to the beach again. The so statement must be completed by some sort of that statement.

icorrect. Let me explain. Normally a comparison (harder, in this sentence) must be placed in context. In this sentence, however, the context is implied (harder than I did before).

jcorrect. The phrase less than satisfying compares the comedy to an ideal state (satisfying). The comparison is complete.

kDespite the fact that they don’t use Metrocards, subway pigeons are no worse than any other rider. The context makes clear that pigeons sometimes ride the subways. (I’m not kidding about this one, honest! I have seen the little feathered guys on my train.) Without the other, pigeons are no worse than themselves, an impossible situation.

lSpotting a pigeon waiting for the subway door to open is no odder than anything else you see on an average day in New York. The else serves an important purpose in this sentence; it shows the reader that the pigeon waiting for the subway is being compared to other events in New York City. Without the else, the sentence is irrational because then the sentence means that seeing pigeons in New York is no odder than what you see in New York.

mOn a midtown corner I once saw a woman shampooing her hair in the rain, an experience that was weirder than anything else I’ve seen in my life. More weirder is overkill. Drop the more and you’re all set.

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nSinging a shower song with a thick New York accent, she appeared saner than other city residents. If she’s got a New York accent, she’s a city resident. Without the word other, you’re saying that she’s saner than herself. Not possible!

ocorrect. The tourist isn’t a city resident, so he or she may be compared to New Yorkers on the street without the word other.

pIs this story less believable than the rest of what you read in this book? The story is in the book, and it can’t be compared to itself. The phrase the rest of differentiates the story but preserves the logic. You may also correct this one by writing less believable than any others you read in this book.

qYou may be surprised to know that it is more firmly fact-based than the other material in this chapter. Your correction must indicate, in any of several ways, that this story is being compared to the rest of the dumb jokes I placed in this chapter. The expressions other, rest, or anything else can do the job.

rTourists to New York probably go home with stranger stories than visitors to other big cities.

New York is a big city, but the original sentence implies otherwise. The insertion of other solves the problem.

sNew Yorkers themselves, of course, make worse tourists than travelers from other large metropolitan areas. New York is a large metropolitan area, and the original indicates that it isn’t. Trouble! Insert other and you’re all set.

t correct. New Yorkers are compared to residents of small towns, and that comparison is legal

uCeleste described every provision of the Snooty-Harvey Tariff Law, and even more. The original sentence muddles two comparisons, braiding them together inappropriately. The first comparison is incomplete. If you untangle it, you get Celeste described every the provisions of the Snooty-Harvey Tariff Law. You can easily see that the untangled comparison doesn’t make sense. The second comparison is in better shape. Untangled it reads Celeste described even more than the provisions of the Snooty-Harvey Tariff Law. One complete and one incomplete comparison isn’t a good idea. The corrected version presents two complete ideas.

vElizabeth concentrated on one of the most important, if not the most important, provisions of the law. Or, Elizabeth concentrated on one of the most important provisions of the law, if not the most important. The original is faulty because the first comparison cannot be completed logically by the words supplied in the sentence. In the original sentence, the first comparison reads one of the most provisions of the law. Penalty box! The word important is missing. The two corrections supply important.

wCeleste’s choice of subject matter was equally important, if not more important than Elizabeth’s. In the original sentence, the first comparison is incomplete: equally Elizabeth’s. In the rewritten version, each separate comparison makes sense. Comparison one: equally important. Comparison two: more important than Elizabeth’s.

xElizabeth insisted on the same amount of time as Celeste, or even more time than Celeste.

In the original sentence the second comparison is incomplete as written. The than is missing. In the corrected version each of the two comparisons works separately. Comparison one: the same amount of time as Celeste. Comparison two: more time than Celeste.

yCeleste’s demand for a bowl of pink jellybeans during the lecture was as ridiculous as Elizabeth’s request for green gummy bears, if not more ridiculous. In the original sentence the first comparison is incomplete because it contains only one as. If you untangle it from the second comparison, you hear what’s missing: Celeste’s demand for a bowl of pink jellybeans during the lecture was as ridiculous than Elizabeth’s request for green gummy bears. The corrected version contains two complete comparisons.