Shopaholism -Small Weakness or Serious Disease?
I have to ask you to do one thing – open your wardrobe and look at its content. Do you see heavy piles of cloths which occupy the whole space? Can you remember where and when you have bought this sweet purple purse and, what’s more important, what was the reason of this purchase if this purse does not match any other garments you have? If you can’t provide a clear answer, join the club of shopaholics.
Before you start to panic make sure that you are really addicted to shopping. Read the following signs of this disease and decide whether they are characteristic for your behavior:
you buy things that you can’t afford;
you feel nervous and upset if you do not go shopping for several days;
you keep your purchases a secret from your relatives and friends;
shopping cheers you up more than any other activity;
you buy things even if you do not need them;
you can’t leave the shop without buying at least a little something.
If you recognize yourself in this description than you should accept the fact that you have a problem and may be a serious one. Shopaholism is not that harmless, it can lead to serious debts sand to collapse of your entire budget. It can be divided into two groups – clinical addiction and impulse control disorder. If you suffer from the second variant of this disease it is only a half problem. It means that you should learn to control your emotions and to accept the fact that not everything you like should belong to you. But in case you are addicted to shopping for real you have to make more efforts to solve this problem once and forever.
The first thing you should do is to define the reasons of your abnormal behavior. These reasons may be personal. May be you were deprived of the toys and dresses you wanted in childhood. Or, may be, you were not loved enough and feel lonely ever since those unhappy years. It is also possible that your self-esteem is to low and you try to gain some confidence with the help of uncontrolled shopping. In most cases it is difficult to deal with the problem without psychologist. Another option for you is to attend special courses for shopaholics where you can share your problem with the people like you and find a way out together.
The reasons for shopaholism may be also of systemic character. We live in the consumer society and it influences our attitude to shopping in a negative way. Constant advertising does not also help much to avoid this addiction. We are told all the time that we need different ridiculous stuff and some women start to believe that a new lipstick or shoes will really make them happier.
The point is, purchasing of the tenth skirt will not bring you much joy. Try to replace shopping with some other pleasant activity, for example, fitness or going out with your friends.
What problems are caused by compulsive shopping and spending?
Compulsive shopping or spending may result in interpersonal, occupational, family and financial problems in one's life. In many ways the consequences of this behaviour are similar to that of any other addiction.
Impairment in relationships may occur as a result of excessive spending and efforts to cover up debt or purchases. Persons who engage in compulsive shopping or spending may become pre-occupied with that behavior and spend less and less time with important people in their lives. They may experience anxiety or depression as a result of the spending or shopping which may interfere with work or school performance.
Financial problems may occur if money is borrowed or there is excessive use of credit to make purchases. Often the extent of the financial damage is discovered only after the shopper or spender has accumulated a large debt that necessitates a drastic change in lifestyle to resolve. Recovery groups such as Debtors Anonymous have formed to help compulsive shoppers and spenders return to normal, appropriate patterns of buying.
What makes compulsive shopping and spending addictive?
There are many social and cultural factors that tend to increase the addictive potential of shopping and spending. The easy availability of credit and the material focus of society in general encourage people to accumulate possessions now and worry about financial responsibility later.
Society places a strong emphasis on one's outer appearance and many media personalities promote spending money to achieve a certain look that will bring about happiness. In addition, the accessibility of purchasing has been made easier with the arrival of online shopping and television programs devoted to buying goods 24 hours a day. Items can be purchased and ordered by express delivery to arrive quickly without the buyer having to leave home or personally interact with anyone else.
The shopping and spending activity itself is associated with a feeling of happiness and power which is immediately gratifying. The after effects of remorse and guilt drive the spender back to purchase again to be able to achieve that brief but intense emotional high. Research has shown that many compulsive shoppers and spenders also suffer from mood disorders, substance abuse, or eating disorders. As with any addiction, the person becomes dependent on the behaviour to relieve negative feelings that cause them distress and discomfort.
The Quarter-Life Crisis by unknown
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
How to Achieve Success
We all hope to achieve success in many areas of our lives, but sometimes the road to success seems to be paved with difficulties and events that we hadn't planned for. The following steps will help you to clearly define what it is that you hope to achieve in life so that you can make your goals and dreams become a reality.
Instructions
1
Set clear long-term and short-term goals. Make sure that you that you're motivated by and committed to the goals you've set for yourself so that you're willing to take the necessary steps to successfully reach those goals.
2
Stay focused on your goals once you've set them. It's easy to stray off course, but by keeping your goals in sight, you can work towards them every day.
3
Overcome obstacles. No one ever said that reaching your goals and obtaining success was easy. If you truly desire to achieve success in life, you must be willing to overcome obstacles on the way to reaching your goals and dreams.
4
Approach your goals and dreams with a positive attitude. Having a negative attitude and thinking that you can't accomplish your goals and be successful in life will only slow you down. Stay positive even if the road gets tough, and you'll be that much closer to achieving success.
5
Be flexible and creative. Things may not always turn out the way you'd hoped or planned, but by being flexible and creative, you'll be able to think of new, more efficient ways to reach your goals.
6
Communicate effectively. This isn't a one man show, so knowing how to be clear and kind when dealing with others is a skill that will greatly serve you on your path to success.
7
Take care of your mind and body. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, get adequate sleep and allow your mind to rest from time to time so that you'll be in top physical and mental shape when pursuing success.
Tips for Maintaining Friendships
It’s my personal opinion that one must not have many friends, just stick to some good and true friends and it’s enough. Many people might not agree with my opinion because they would be thinking that they should keep more and more friends so that their social circle can increase and they can have better exposure to different classes of the society. It’s mostly been found that in order to make long lasting friendship; you need to devote some time and need to put in some efforts as well.
To maintain a friendship, first you have to seed it up and then the process of maintaining and caring comes into play. You have to take care of all the important ingredients that would play a vital role in maintaining your friendship. You will feel delighted and much happier when you observe the friendship is going in right direction and you are taking it in the way as you wanted it to be. It is very necessary to give some time and also put in some effective efforts to make the friendship a success. Here are some tips for maintaining friendship.
In order to maintain friendship, first of all, you have to keep one thing aside that you are not making the person your friend for a specific purpose or a specific time period. If you have such kind of thinking within your mind, then you won’t be able to take your friendship for long. So, try to maintain thinking within your mind that you are making that person your friend without any purpose and you would take all the necessary steps which will play a vital role in maintaining your friendship for a long period of time.
Apart from this, try to be a good listener. A person always wants his/her friend to be a good listener. You must listen everything whether joy, sorrow, worry, query, excitement and etc. Sometimes during listening to the friend one friend can get a bit angry due to some contradicting point especially while debating on some topic but at that time it is better to listen to each other and then conclusion can be drawn mutual consensus.
Lastly, in order to maintain friendship, you must make sure that you are available to your friend all the time. If you avoid him/her intentionally or unintentionally, your friend will develop thinking within his/her mind that you no longer want him/her to be your friend. So, try to devote sometime of your hectic schedule to your friend in order to maintain your friendship.
Presentation Tips for Public Speaking
Effective public speaking can be difficult regardless of age or experience. It takes courage and confidence to get up and speak in front of a large group, which can be problematic for those with less outgoing personalities. If you dread speaking in front of large groups or just want to improve your public speaking ability, there are steps you can take that will help you deliver your message more confidently and naturally. Make Eye Contact
An important aspects of effective public speaking is engaging and making eye contact with your audience. A speaker who is constantly reading from prepared notes or looking away at a PowerPoint presentation is less engaging and less interesting. If you have a complicated speech, prepare notes and practice so that you can spend the majority of your speaking time looking at the audience, and less time referring to notes. Look for people in the audience who are attentive and have a positive attitude and make eye contact with them. Return to these positive faces throughout your speech to build confidence; most people want to see speakers do a good job. Avoid staring at the same person for too long as it can cause you to lose focus and make the person feel awkward. Usually a couple seconds of looking at a person is enough.