Chapter Fourteen

2008

There was no time to run from him. He saw the understanding in my face, the new level of hostility, and suddenly his mask of semi-drunken innocence fell and I saw a ferocity in his eyes I wouldn't have expected him to possess. In a moment he'd grabbed my hands in his, with surprising speed, since he was under the influence, and sent my mobile phone with a clatter onto the flagstones. I cried out as he pushed me back against the red-brick wall and held me pinned by my hands.

'Was it your dyke girlfriend?' he snarled. 'The one you're interested in instead of me?' Flecks of his saliva sprayed my face and I recoiled from him.

'It was just a friend,' I said hearing the tremor in my own voice. 'Please let me go.' I sounded weak and pathetic, but all of my nerve had gone. His hands were strong and his grip was beginning to hurt.

'Don't lie to me, Jen. You think I don't know? You think I haven't seen? You dumped me in that fucking pub, and the next minute you're running around with that bitch.' His lips curled into a disgusted sneer. 'Do you two fuck? Oh, no, you can't can you? She's a fucking girl!'

His words made me furious, but it was impotent rage and I was too scared to voice it. 'It's none of your business what I do and with who,' I protested quietly, hoping that by staying calm I might elicit a similar response in him. 'And how the hell do you know anyway?' Perhaps if I could make him explain he would relax, give me an opportunity to escape.

I saw a sort of pride in his face, a slyness. I looked away from his glazed eyes and tried to turn from the sure smell of alcohol on his breath. He watched me turn my face away from him and scowled. 'Even now you're disgusted with me aren't you? Well, at least I know now, it's because I'm a man and you're a sick dyke. You're all the same, hating men, thinking we're not as good as you. Well, you shouldn't have underestimated me, should you?'

'What do you mean?' I demanded, trying to wrench my wrists free of his grip and failing. I still couldn't pull the threads of this together in my head and that only made it more frightening, since it gave me no real idea how to appease him.

'Interested in someone else, that's what you said,' he spat at me and then smiled in a sickening way, 'and then I saw you. In the pub, her hands on you. Maybe she was your friend, I thought, and I watched you. When that bloke came on to you, I almost came to get rid of him myself, I wanted to protect you, Jen. Then she was there. I saw her kiss you. Filthy whore.'

The picture began to make sense to me now. A whole new wave of fear swept through me as I became aware of how calculating he had been. I began to shake and tears rushed to my eyes. 'You followed me home?' I asked nervously.

'No,' he said with a proud smile, T followed her. I wanted to see where she went. Then I realized, it was your flat she'd led me to. I saw you both through the window, through a gap in the curtain. Just to be sure, I waited. She didn't leave until the morning.' He narrowed his eyes and smiled again, his expression sardonic. 'I'm just curious, Jen, what exactly do you do in bed together? Rub your cunts together and wish one of you had a cock so you could do the job properly?'

His sudden vulgarity made me feel physically sick. I just stared dumbly at him, tears trickling down my cheeks. I could feel my pulse through my whole body. I prayed for someone to come to the yard then, anyone. 'You threw the rock?' I croaked.

He just smiled in satisfaction. 'And then, I followed her again. Stupid bitch didn't even notice, even when I waited at the end of her street and watched which house she went into.'

I didn't even need to ask. It had been him that had vandalized her door, broken her flowerpot. I remembered again my horror at the shattered pot and I shuddered. I thought of him following Aly across town and my blood seemed to freeze.

'I was there last night, when you came home with her too, holding her filthy hand. I watched you looking at what I had left for you, and then going into the house. I saw you in her kitchen. Then you went and got all cozy on the sofa, didn't you?'

'You frightened us,' I said weakly, hoping desperately that it might soften him.

'What, with your tough dyke to protect you?' he scoffed. His face changed to one infinitely softer and in that, more terrifying.

'But you see, Jen, I know you. You're not a dyke. You don't even look like one.' Again his gaze travelled over me, my costume. I remembered the way he had said he liked me in it and I felt nauseous. 'You're just confused.'

'No, Owen,' I said, wondering if brave honesty would deter him, 'you're wrong. I am with Aly, and I want to be. I'm certain of it.'

'But do you really know the other options?' he demanded, more aggressive now. Clearly I'd just made him angrier. Panic turned my insides to liquid. He seemed to gather himself and his expression softened. 'You could have had me, Jen,' he said and his sing-song tone held me dreadfully transfixed. Now I was terrified of his intentions. Someone would come. Someone would come. Someone better fucking come. I struggled against his grip again, experimentally, to see if he would release me. His hands simply tightened and he laughed in my face.

'I've finally got you where I want you. I'm just sorry it had to be this way,' he whispered. My mouth was too dry for a response.

He looked at me curiously for a moment, head tilted to one side. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. 'You never recognized me, Jen, did you?' he asked.