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ТвГу

Реферат по истории Великобритании

1649-1660



Клименок Виктория



Оглавление

Introduction 3

1603-1649 3

1649-1660: The Cromwellian Years 4

The Commonwealth (1649 - 1653) 6

Cromwell’s Government (1653-1658) 7

Conclusion 9

1660-1688: The Restoration Era 9

Bibliography 11

Introduction

1603-1649

Following the death of Elizabeth I the English realized that they didn't have anyone left to replace her because, like a silly, she'd forgotten to have any children. Not to worry, though, the hairy Scottish royal family, the Stuarts, had a claim to the throne and even though the English couldn't stand the Scots they just stood aside and let King James VI of Scotland saunter on down across the border with his fried haggis-mars-bar and ginger public hair to the sound of bagpipes. James VI became King of both Scotland and England (as James I, just to confuse everyone).

Because James was both Scottish and a Protestant he was especially loathed by English Catholics, an extremist branch of which decided to try and blow him up when he was opening Parliament. They spent ages putting-together a cunning plan involving stacking up barrels of the popular explosive gunpowder underneath the House of Lords but arced the whole thing up because the chap who was left to guard it, one Guido Guy" Fawkes, really needed a pee and so did it all over the side of the barrels meaning they were too soggy to light. He was caught by a passing guard who'd heard the moan of relief and sound of passing water earlier and dragged to the Tower where he was bitchslapped until he gave the names of his accomplices who, along with him, were all hung drawn and quartered in the traditional manner.

When James died power passed to his Fifer son, Charles, who became King Charles I and who was like his father only rubbish and about three feet tall. Charles didn't like his English Parliament and thought he should rule alone, like a proper King much as they had on the continent, so he kept dismissing the assembly and passing laws which upset his English subjects. Eventually, they got completely sick of it and started slagging him off when he eventually called a Parliament again, referring to the pint-sized son of Caledonia as "that foppish Scotch Hitler". Charles, being a good tyrant, wasn't going to stand for that so he marched into Parliament one day and tried to have all the MPs who didn't like him arrested and taken to the Tower. Unfortunately for Charles, the MPs escaped because on his approach to Westminster they heard the clip-clop of the tins of paint he attached to the soles of his shoes to make himself taller. The exchange of "angry words" between the King and his legislative body got worse and eventually Parliament decided that the only way to teach the King a lesson was to raise an army and fight him in what became known as the English Civil War. After many years of fighting and a lot of "negotiations" which basically consisted of Parliamentary leaders saying "Look, your Majesty, just stop being such a cunt" and the King replying "Sir, I am anointed by God to be as cunty as I do wish to my rightful subjects!" it became clear that neither side would give an inch. Another civil war erupted which the Parliamentarians eventually won and Charles was tried for treason and swiftly executed on a chilly winter morning in 1649.