Some Practical Do's and Don'ts

Here are some practical tips to help you with your self-esteem.

Make enthusiasm your daily habit. The word "enthusiasm" comes from the Greek "theos" which means "God", and "entos", which means" within". The capacity to become enthused is a spiritual quality generated from within; it doesn't need pep talks or perks. You sing because you're happy, and you also become happier as you sing. Enthusiasm, like smiling or laughing, is contagious. Don't let negative people determine your self-worth. Seek friends and associates whose lifestyles and works inspire you. If you have to deal with negative family members, fellow workers, or employers, make a conscious effort not to let them infect your thinking. See these people for what they are – lonely, unhappy, frustrated. Never tell yourself that you're "no good" because of treatment you have received from negative people.

Get into the habit of talking to yourself affirmatively. By talking to yourself, I mean the mental conversations you hold with yourself all day long. In recent years popular psychology jargon has called this self-talk. Get into the habit of using an affirmative, positive vocabulary. I've included here some examples of words to stop using and words to use more often:

Words to Forget Words to Remember

I can't I can

I'll try I will

I have to I want to

Problem opportunity

Difficult challenging

I, me, my you, your

Don't be a grudge collector. Too many people spend too much time every day thinking of past hurts, messed-up relationships, suffered-through office politics and, in general, the evils of the world. Don't waste your energy in this way. Apply your excellent mind to forgiving and forgetting.

Think positive and pleasing thoughts. Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely... – meditate on those things.

Don't brag. Attention seekers need constant approval. Have the quiet confidence to let your actions speak for you.

Don't give in to the ads and fads. Look for and listen for the truth. Rather than hear what you want to hear, listen for the facts of the matter.

Wake up happy. Optimism is a learned attitude. (So is pessimism, so why not learn something that will help you?). Start thinking positively early in the day. If the alarm sets your nerves jangling, wake up to music instead. I strongly advise you to avoid listening to the morning news. It's almost always depressing. Listen instead to an all-music radio station or your favorite cassettes on your way to work.

Find a positive support group. Get involved with some positive peers who meet at least once a month for lunch or after work to discuss (and brainstorm) ways to achieve goals. Support groups that give me the most help include people from different ethnic groups, different lifestyles, different philosophies and viewpoints. I always seek optimistic, divergent, or different approach that inspires my creativity and imagination.

Above all make every day and every evening the best possible. Your attitude is either the lock on your door to high self-esteem and being the best you can be or the key that will open you up to more and more successful moments in life.