Nolan E. (ed.) - Autistic Spectrum Disorders (2004)(en)

Manners file

The following activities are designed to help the child develop his manners file. It is important for children to learn that there are unwritten social rules about how we behave towards others and how we speak to them.

Activity two:What to do and what not to do

Talk about kissing, touching and stroking. If appropriate, create some picture cards of these activities. Explain who it is appropriate to touch in this way, for example, he can stroke his dog and kiss and cuddle his mum but not his teacher. Match the activity to the ‘people’ files in the child’s social filing cabinet.

Use the ‘What not to do’ cards to help the child learn that there are also things we never do to others, such as kick, bite, pinch, etc. These go into the rubbish bin.

Activity three:What to say

Put these on cards:

●Say hello and goodbye.

●Say you don’t like something.

●Say you like something.

●Ask for something.

●Ask questions.

●Get someone to listen to you.

●Say it is not your fault.

Match these cards to the ‘people’ files and encourage the child to tell you what he would say to the people in his file. Discard unacceptable responses in the rubbish bin.

Activity four:Talking to different people

Family

Ask the child to draw a family tree if he can. Encourage him to think about the roles of different people, especially different generations. Talk about the difference in the way he speaks to his parents and grandparents, with questions such as:

●How would he say hello to his grandma?

●How would he say hello to his mum?

●What does he like to talk about with his granddad?

●What does he like to talk about with his dad?

●Ask him if he behaves and speaks in the same way to his mum and his dad if: he is tired

he is hungry he is hurt he is upset.

Do they both treat him in the same way at these times?

General strategies

Autistic Spectrum Disorders

●Ask him about his brother/sister/cousins.

●How does he ask them to help him tidy up for instance?

●What does he say to them if he is cross with them?

●How do they speak to him?

Friends

●Make a ‘family tree’ of friends. Group them according to interests or how he knows them, for example, a branch for those with whom he shares an interest, or those who are the children of his parents’ friends.

●Write down some of the things he likes to do with his friends.

●What can he talk about to friends? Would he speak to them in the same way that he speaks to his grandma? What is different?

●Think about teasing. What sort of things do friends say to tease or joke? How can he react when this happens?

●Make a list of his friends and write opposite each one what they like and why he likes them.

In school

Draw a ‘school’ tree using these questions to help:

●Who is the leader in a school? What things does he have to do that is different from other teachers? How should the child speak to this person in school?

●What is the teacher’s name? Why are teachers called Mr, Miss or Mrs? How are teachers greeted?

Figure 2.4 The rubbish bin

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9. Home/school liaison

Some schools liaise with parents through the use of a Dictaphone. When this is not possible (or desirable), other forms of communication need to be developed. The following prompt sheet and record sheets are useful to help parents and school understand what is happening to the child when he cannot/doesn’t wish to say.

Choose the style best suited for the age and difficulties of the child, and send a page home each day, either tucked into a reading folder or glued into an exercise book. The completed record sheets can be kept in a polythene pocket. They are often a useful reference tool that can provide a pattern over time.

The ‘today at school’ page can act as a prompt sheet. An adult should help the child circle the activities and the parents can use the pictures as prompts to encourage talk. A spare sheet of pictures is included for cutting up and using in a different format, if desired. Similarly, the record sheets can act as prompts to encourage talk about what has happened and what is going to happen. An agreed code for behaviour can be used if desired (see Figs 2.6 and 2.7).

These sheets can help the child to:

●Understand what is and is not shared knowledge.

●Organise memories of his experiences.

●Use more mature sentence grammar to respond to questions with opportunities to follow adult modelling.

●Extend his language uses.

●Develop more mature turntaking and conversation skills.

●Benefit from a more consistent approach from parents and school.

Figure 2.8 School/parent record sheet

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Lunch/break

Lessons (p.m.)

Comments

Parent Record

Tea

Evening

Bedtime

Getting up

Breakfast

Comments

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Autistic Spectrum Disorders

10. Conversation cue cards

●These can be glued to card and used as cue cards.

●They can act as the focus for discussion in a group (or one to one).

●They provide good prompts for role play. One or two people can model how not to stick to the rules, as well as what to do.

●They have been found to be particularly useful with older children. For instance, the card ‘Working in a Group’ has been used in small group situations, especially for group problem-solving activities in science. All children have to comply with the rules.

●Some children have benefited from the visual prompts, especially those who have not learned the unwritten rules of conversation.

LOOKING AT ANOTHER PERSON WHO IS SPEAKING

●helps you keep your mind on the same subject

●tells you how the person feels about what is being said

You can tell how people feel by looking at:

●their faces and expressions

●their eyes

●their posture (how they sit, stand and move)

LOOKING AT ANOTHER PERSON WHILE YOU SPEAK

Tells you:

●if the person understands you

●if the person is interested in what you are saying

●how the person feels about what you are saying

●if you need to CHANGE anything so the person understands you better

Things you might change:

●how fast you speak

●what tone you use

●how long you speak for.You will be able to see if the other person wants to ask you something or make a comment

●how much setting and context you need to give. If you haven’t given enough the other person will be puzzled.

LISTENING TO ANOTHER PERSON’S VOICE TELLS YOU

●how the person feels about what he or she is saying

●how the person feels about the person being talked to

RULES OF GOOD LISTENING

1.look at the speaker

2.listen carefully

3.keep quiet

4.sit still

Figure 2.9 Conversation cue cards

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Autistic Spectrum Disorders

TURNTAKING

means giving everyone who wants the chance to speak

–it means you must not talk too long

–you must stop after you have made one or two points

–you must give the other person a chance to respond

Conversation is like a ball

– it has to be thrown backwards and forwards

CONVERSATION means taking turns to speak

It means – listening to the other speakers

– one person speaks at a time

RULES OF CONVERSATION

1.sit still, don’t fidget

2.look at the speaker

3.think about the words

4.don’t butt in

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN

1.nod and agree with the speaker

2.stand by the person

3.wait for a pause

4.look at the person

5.ask a question or talk about the same thing

Figure 2.9 Conversation cue cards Continued