American dreams

An American’s bed attests to his personal style in the same way as home ... and the more extravagant, the better. After all – it’s a your life, and so on. Yanks sink their beds into carpeted platforms, have them hammock-like on swinging chains, and install motors to make them tilt, revolve, and face the built-in media deck. Americans, too, have accidents while sleeping ... but only if the waterbed bursts, causing short-circuits in the quadrophonic sound system and halogen light-show.

Closet needs

Americans like their closets to sleep 4. All modern houses and apartments are supplied with spacious ‘walk-ins’, which allow for clothes to live in greater luxury than some people. Chances are you’ll also have large mirrors – even 3-way jobs – so that you can know the hideous truth about your rear end and trousers.

Brits have loads of clothing, but no closets. Old houses were built without them, and because ‘we’ve always done it this way’, the builders see no reason to change. Instead, they extol the virtues of ‘free-standing’ wardrobes: ‘gives you such flexibility when planning your bedroom!’ What it really offers is greater expense (you have to buy the wardrobes) and decreased floor-space (the furniture takes up most it).

Furthermore, Brit wardrobes are cunningly crafted to be a fraction less deep that the span of the average hanger when positioned on the right. This means that the doors never close properly. The rail’s so high that you can’t reach it, and bows under the weight of even a few garments, allowing dresses and skirt-hems to hit the floor. (Brit wardrobe manufacturers look harshly upon people with more than three changes of outfit.) And judging from the provision of mirrors, these should viewed from the front only – and from the knees up.

Comprhension

Exercise 1.Make up several true or false statements about the text to check comprehension.

Exercise 2.Sum up the main points of the text in your own words trying to sound as English as you can.

Language practice

Exercise 3.Choose 5–7 items of advanced vocabulary for intensive study, explain the meanings of the words and phrases you have chosen, comment on their register and expressiveness and suggest synonyms of various degrees of formality. Think up appropriate contexts with them.

Exercise 4.Identify the cultural information, things and stereotypes in the text and comment on them. An up-to-date dictionary on language and culture or any reference book will help you do it better.

Exercise 5.Make up a list of topical vocabulary on the topic, illustrate and practise it with your classmates.

Exercise 6.Look up the different kinds of traditional English housing and complete the sentences below:

SEMI / TERRACE / BUNGALOW / PENTHOUSE / CONDO / BED-SIT / DIGS / …

1) A … is a small house in the country. 2) A … house is not connected with any other. 3) A … or a … – … house is one of the two built together, and sharing a wall. 4) A … or a … house comes in a line of joined houses. 5) A … of … is a building divided into flats. 6) A … – … is a single room for a living and sleeping in (Another name for №6 is a … or a … apartment). 7) A … is a house all on one floor. 8) A posh set of rooms on the top of a building is called a … 9) A … is a set of council flats, or a house in a poorer area. 10) The room you rent from a landlady is usually called .., or .., especially if you are a university student. (Another name for this kind of accommodation is … & .., for there is usually a meal coming with the room). 11) A privately owned flat in a block is called a .., or … for short. 12) For a dwelling to be called a ‘house’ it is imperative to have their own …