Masha Maximova, 501

DIVORCE IS MORALLY WRONG

AND MARRIAGE SHOULD BE PRESERVED AT ALL COSTS

Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties.

Divorce laws vary considerably around the world, but in most countries it requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process of divorce may also involve issues of alimony (spousal support), child custody, child support, distribution of property, and division of debt.

Why do people divorce?

There are many reasons why people get divorced. Some of them are more common than others. The list of major reasons why marriages fail and people get divorced is given below.

High Expectations: Many couples enter into marriage with high expectations and when the spouse doesn’t exactly measure up to them, it leads to clashes and sometimes breakup. Divorces often happen because people rarely discuss their expectations in detail prior to marriage and are less willing to work on their marriages afterwards; many would like quick solutions rather than having to resolve issues. In the US, several couples have even gotten divorced for reasons like snoring or champing.

Adultery: One of the major reasons for divorce is the infidelity of one of the partners. While some couples can go through adultery and save the marriage, many believe that cheating is something that cannot be forgiven and dealt with, even if the spouse guilty of adultery wants to preserve the marriage.

Compatibility: Marriage is not just about physical compatibility; the couple should be emotionally and psychologically compatible as well to have a successful marriage. When the partners are not in tune with each other’s feelings then there is a higher chance that they might end up breaking up.

Low Tolerance and Rigidity: Many couples exhibit a very low level of tolerance in marriage and stay rigid in their outlook. When both partners want to get things their own way and never compromise, that may lead to a divorce. Many overlook the importance of compromise and flexibility for the successful working of a marriage.

Lack of Commitment: For many couples the marriage vows are just a ceremony and spouses often do not follow the commitment made through the vows to the partner. They tend to forget that it takes commitment to nurture any relationship rather than looking for quick solutions and giving up too easily.

Lack of Physical Attraction: As years go by, it’s quite natural for many to lose interest in maintaining their beauty and health. Such a situation can also result in a divorce. Moreover, there are people who marry their unattractive partners for money, social status or whatever else. Once they have lived together for a while, many realize the reasons they got married are not so important any more, compared to dissatisfaction with their family life.

Outer Pressures: There are several cases where parents have forced or blackmailed their daughter or son to enter into a marriage against their wishes. There are also cases where the parents have forced their daughter or son to break the marriage promising a better life or threatening to harm the partner. Interference of parents or in-laws, other relatives or friends, too, may end with a divorce.

Lack of communication: Lack of communication between partners can be a major reason for a breakup. A marriage is on the rocks when the lines of communication fail. Many people, especially inexperienced young spouses, expect their partners to guess what they want or what their problem is without communicating. Because of this sometimes even small misunderstandings can lead to a divorce.

Family Background: People who come from divorced homes are more likely to get divorced than people who come from happily married households. Many of such children do not have belief or faith in the institution of marriage and do nothing to salvage the marriage. Divorce seems less like a big deal if you have seen your parents go through it.

Meeting Someone Else: Not only may the spouse who has fallen victim of the infidelity of the other partner demand a divorce, but there are also cases when the partner involved in an extramarital relationship wants to call it quits. There doesn’t even necessarily needs to be sex involved; meeting someone else for some married people helps them understand that they are unhappy in their current relationship.

All in all, however many reasons there can be for people divorcing each other, it all boils down to being unhappy with your marriage and the impossibility (or lack of desire) to fix it. However, there is very rarely just one reason why people want a divorce; literally always it is a complicated combination of reasons.

History of divorce

The ancient Athenians liberally allowed divorce, but the person requesting divorce had to submit the request to a magistrate, and the magistrate could determine whether the reasons given were sufficient.

Divorce was rare in early Roman culture but as their empire grew in power and authority Roman civil law embraced the maxim, "matrimonia debent esse libera" ("marriages ought to be free"), and either husband or wife could renounce the marriage at will. Though civil authority rarely intervened in divorces, social and familial taboos guaranteed that divorce occurred only after serious circumspection.[citation needed] The Christian emperors Constantine and Theodosius restricted the grounds for divorce to grave cause, but this was relaxed by Justinian in the sixth century.

After the fall of the Roman Empire, familial life was regulated more by ecclesiastical authority than civil authority. By the ninth or tenth century, the divorce rate had been greatly reduced under the influence of the Church, which considered marriage a sacrament instituted by God and Christ indissoluble by mere human action.

Although divorce, as known today, was generally prohibited after the tenth century, separation of husband and wife and the annulment of marriage were well-known. What is today referred to as "separate maintenance" (or "legal separation") was termed "divorce a mensa et thoro" ("divorce from bed-and-board"). The husband and wife physically separated and were forbidden to live or cohabit together; but their marital relationship did not fully terminate. Civil courts had no power over marriage or divorce. The grounds for annulment were determined by Church authority and applied in ecclesiastical courts. Annulment was for canonical causes of impediment existing at the time of the marriage. "For in cases of total divorce, the marriage is declared null, as having been absolutely unlawful ab initio." The Church held that the sacrament of marriage produced one person from two, inseparable from each other: "By marriage the husband and wife are one person in law: that is, the very being of legal existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage or at least incorporated and consolidated into that of the husband: under whose wing, protection and cover, she performs everything."[50] Since husband and wife became one person upon marriage, that oneness could only be annulled if the parties improperly entered into the marriage initially.

After the Reformation, marriage came to be considered a civil contract in the non-Catholic regions, and on that basis civil authorities gradually asserted their power to decree a "divorce a vinculo matrimonii", or "divorce from all the bonds of marriage". Since no precedents existed defining the circumstances under which marriage could be dissolved, civil courts heavily relied on the previous determinations of the ecclesiastic courts and freely adopted the requirements set down by those courts. As the civil courts assumed the power to dissolve marriages, courts still strictly construed the circumstances under which they would grant a divorce, and now considered divorce to be contrary to public policy. Because divorce was considered to be against the public interest, civil courts refused to grant a divorce if evidence revealed any hint of complicity between the husband and wife to divorce, or if they attempted to manufacture grounds for a divorce. Divorce was granted only because one party to the marriage had violated a sacred vow to the "innocent spouse". If both husband and wife were guilty, "neither would be allowed to escape the bonds of marriage". Eventually, the idea that a marriage could be dissolved in cases in which one of the parties violated the sacred vow gradually allowed expansion of the grounds upon which divorce could be granted from those grounds which existed at the time of the marriage to grounds which occurred after the marriage, but which exemplified violation of that vow, such as abandonment, adultery, or "extreme cruelty".

In the Edo Period (1603–1868), only husbands could divorce their wives by writing letters of divorce. But actually, their relatives or marriage arrangers often kept these letters and tried to restore the marriages. It was not allowed for wives to divorce their husbands. Some wives were able to gain sanctuary in certain Shinto "divorce temples" for several years, and were able to obtain a divorce thereby. In 19th century Japan, at least one in eight marriages ended in divorce.