Man to Man

When you were a little kid, your parents gave it to you out of mercy, out of devotion, and out of emotional love, but now you are dealing with yother Nature and Father God. Mother Nature neither forgives nor forgets. Father God Is inside not outside, so you are totally blocked. You cannot get anything from the outside and you do not want to touch the inside. The outside cannot give you anything. It cannot even give you your own sexual satisfaction. You can get an erection, but you cannot get sexual satisfaction. You cannot get sexual fulfillment. As a man you get nothing when you refuse to relate within. The greatest difficulty of this whole game is that you know it—that is the worst of all! You know that at the age of 42, traumatizing and becoming a psychopath, being abusive and using truck driver language, not doing your sadhana, screwing your wife; cheating your children, and conning everyone around you won't help. You know all that. You know what is good for you and what is not good for you. If you know what is good for you, then you know how to get what is good for you. But you don't want to get it, you want it to be given to you. You understand the difference?

Wishing and Wanting

He said, "My Lord, I want to be ableto close my eyes, make a wish for something and have it happen immediately." "So be it."

One day he was just sitting and day dreaming. He closed his eyes and he said, "How great it would be, if I had all the diamonds of the world around my neck." In a few minutes he was dead because all those diamonds broke his neck. The neck couldn't take the load of tons and tons of diamonds. If all your wishes came true, you would never see the next sun.

There is a difference between want and wish. What has happened to you is that your wishing continues while wanting is blocked. There is want in men like us: We want to be successful, we want to be givers, we want to be lovers, we want to be respectable, we want to be recog­ nized, we want to be somebody. Each of these is a want. It cannot be fulfilled by a wish. What you want, you have to get. What you wish has to be provided. The difference is that wishes are for fairy tales and wants are for men. Men want and they get it. Children wish and it is provided. You tell me you are grown up, then you were three feet tall and now you are six feet tall. I agree, you look grown up, but are you? There are tremendous blocks and you cannot talk about them. You are not willing to talk about them and you don't want to talk about them.

Religion piays a part in your behav­ ior, too. Thousands of years ago

religion took God from the universal prevailing energy, made It huge and infinite, and told man to search for

**■ Before thatre|i9ion was very practical. God was in a blade of grass, in the trees, in the stones.

God was in everything. God was everything, everywhere, all around and that was too much. God was

worshipped in different forms, shapes and situations and that wasn't tolerable. God has had to

become a huge monster, a big thing out there somewhere and man is supposed to search for It, making God everything and us nothing. That is why one third of the world does not believe in God. It is a godless society, but that doesn't make any difference to God. It makes a tremendous difference to us, though. The pur­ pose of religion is to teach us to relate to Infinity, to never ending life. If it does the job, the fear of death is taken away.

Instead you have a tremendous block—4ear of death. Do you want to talk about it? There is a fear of death all the time. But are you really afraid of death? No. Do you want to talk about that either? These blocks are with us. They are a very subtle but solid part of us. That is why even those who are successful are unhappy. If all your resources and

your sources are not flowing for you, you cannot be happy, If you aren't unhappy, still you will be handicapped. We are not unhappy, but we are handicapped. We are handicapped because we have blocks we cannot break through. If you really want to look at it, we have a very serious problem. This problem makes us absolutely sleepy. We actually go into a kind of drowsiness,

I say, "Hey."

You answer, "Yes Sir." "How are you doing?" “Fine."

"What is going on?" "I don't know."

"What are you doing?"

" Everything. Oh no, nothing. Oh no, I don't know. I am doing something."

"Where were you yesterday?" "Somewhere."

"Where are you going tomorrow?"

And this is the bottom line, a very realistic bottom line. We have sexual experiences, we have social experiences. We have personal experiences. We have experiences we cannot talk about. We cannot even share. When

we were children and we were growing up, a lot of things went wrong for us. This took away our trust. Now do we say, "I love you. 1trust you. I believe in you. I am yours"? No, only a part of us says it. The major part says, "No, no, no. Don't trust this man. If he drops you what are you going to do? Don't love him, Don't love her,"

Another block is a direct result of our block against forming a relationship, as a man, with our own intelligence. Our intelligence is our female aspect We are married to intelli­ gence and the purpose of this marriage is to produce consciousness. Consciousness is our sweet baby, our future, our tomorrow, our everything. The Id and the ego are married to intelligence to produce consciousness, but because you cannot relate to intelligence, you cannot produce consciousness. The energy is there. You have to do something with it, so you masturbate with your intellectuality. It is just like imagining your neighbor's wife and masturbating. There is no practical difference in the two. You ejaculate, you experience. You do all of that. There is a woman in your imagination and your thoughts but you cannot produce a baby. You do not want to relate to intelligence because you are attached to your emotions; you are attached to your emotions because you don't want to relate to your intelligence. I want to tell you why you do not relate to your intelligence. This is the reason: when you

are intelligent, you are responsible and, worst of all, when you are intelligent, you are accountable. You do not want to answer to anybody; and when you are emotional, you are not accountable.

You know, it is very funny. Once I went to a national club in New Delhi where I saw a huge party going on. Everybody looked very fine. Beautiful people, super intelligent people, everyone came. They were respectable and very sociable. There was one man who was very well respected. He had never drunk before, but that day he went to the bar and said, "I need a drink."

The bartender said, "What kind of drink?" He said, "Put in scotch and one whole beer."

The bartender looked at him and said, "What did you say, sir?"

He said, "Double the scotch and put one beer in i t "

The bartender had never heard that order before but he put two shots of scotch into a glass of beer and handed it over. The man was not a drinker, but he slurped it down and ordered another one. The bartender gave him a second drink and said, "Something funny is going to happen." After he had the fourth drink, he started dancing, totally dancing. First he removed his coat, then he removed his tie, then he removed his shirt, then he removed his undershirt, and the moment he was going to remove his pants I had to get up.

I just put my hand around his neck and I took him aside,

Man To M a n

"Oh, no, no. I don't want that." "Then behave."

He said, "Okay, okay. What should I do?"

I said, "I will pick up your clothes. Come with me. Go to the bathroom. Fix yourself up. Come out and say thank you to everybody. Explain that you just went into ecstasy and then walk away."

He said, "What does that mean?"

I said, "Say that you had an experience and went into ecstasy, that you do not know what happened to you. If anybody is offended or feels bad about it, give him your apologies. Then bow like this and walk away."

He said, "Yes, I think I have to do it."

He did exactly that, walked away and went home. I dropped him off. I came back to my house. I was lying down and thinking, "My God, what happened? Good man, very good man. Very rich man, very respectable „ man, absolutely social." Then I cracked up. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha," I said, "Oh, good, good, good." I went to the telephone and called him.

I said, "Hi, how are you? Are you sleeping?" He said, "No, I was laughing."

I said, "I was laughing too. Why are you laughing?"' "I was just laughing. What happened

tome?"

"Nothing. You got burnt out." "You are right."

I said, "I can understand. I get burnt out too."

He said, "What do you do when you get burnt out?"

"You really want to know?" "Yes."

I said, "When I get burnt out, I don't feel I am me. I don't feel it is me, but you feel it is you."

He said, "What do you feel?"

I said, "I feel I have no peer group, I have nobody to talk to except to

myself, and I feel myself is nothing but a gift to experience myself. Therefore I respect the gift."

He said, "Where did you learn such things?" "From my teacher."

"Who is your teacher?"

I said, "What do you want to do with him?"

"I want to find him. God, give me something. Give me a break! You know what I was going to do?"

I said, "You were going to take off your pants and you were going to dance naked. Isn't that true?"

"That is true."

I said, "You wanted social insult." "That is true."

"You wanted people to spit at you."

He said, "That is absolutely true. I wanted to destroy myself."

I said, "Who told you to build yourself? Who built you?"

"Me."

I said, "You are wrong. You didn't build yourself. Your intelligence built you. Now you are becoming emotional and you are becoming the enemy of your own intelligence. Think about it and call me back."

He didn't call the next day, but he was at my door. He was so grateful.

When the internal block of ego communicates with emotion, it doesn't matter how wise or how great you are, you become self-destructive; and whenever your ego and your intelligence come together, you shall become successful. It doesn't matter who you are. Your ego is like the "common" wire of a toggle switch; your emotions and your intelligence are the two opposite poles. It is just a matter of blocking the current to one pole and allowing it flow to the other.

There is a difference between the intellect and intelligence. When the pros and cons relating to you are identified by you, it is the work of intelligence. When the pros and cons are identified by your emotional self, it is the work of the intellect. Your emotional self is only part of you. The total self of self, which is you, is the totality of you. We

talk about intellectual and intelligent people. When we say somebody is very intellectual, we are saying that he is only two-thirds of a man. On the other hand, when we say that so-and- so is very intelligent, we are talking about the whole sum of the person. That is a very simple expression to which you and I can relate through this.

In our own understanding, in our own lives, we have a block. Though we are still children of God, we are also children of our egos. When we are children of our egos, we are afraid to

even talk about our blocks. If we are not willing to talk about something, how can we get rid of it? There is atendency in us to blame others for our faults. It is avery powerful block. It has ruined us many, many times in our life. As children we always expected to be mothered—always. When we grow up, we still want to be mothered. When things don't come through, we blame somebody. We blame somebody else because we are never ourselves. To be very honest with you, we do not want to be ourselves at all. We al­ ways want to be somebody else, to copy somebody else, to feel for somebody else, to think about somebody else, to compare ourselves with somebody else. We judge ourselves and our neighbors by whether we are rich or poor, who is beautiful and who is not. Think about it. Take a practical look at all that and ask yourself a very honest and sincere question: Who, then, are you as you?

It is a simple thing. If you are comparing all the time, my neighbor has a swimming pool, my neighbor has a Mercedes car, my neighbor has a garden—fine. You should have a swimming pool. You should have a Mercedes car. You should have a garden. But then your neighbor's wife is bitchy and that you don't want. His children are neurotic— that you don't want either. If you are getting everything from your neighbor, then get the whole thing! No. You don't do it. You want this from this neighbor, that from that neighbor. You spread yourself so thin that you never find out who you are.

home, you left your country, you left your nationality and you moved in groups. It is called ethnic migration. You have ethnically migrated here, but that conscious revolt has never left you. It is with you even today, and the result of that ethnic revolt is demonstrated here:

Once there was a man who always felt very cold. His sister came to him and said, "Brother, you always sleep with your knees drawn up to your chest.''

He said, "The night is very cold."

She said, "Okay," and she brought a big down quilt and gave it to him.

The next night he stretched his legs out. He was warm. He was happy. Six months later when she came by, she found him very happy. She said, "How are you sleeping?"

He said, "Perfect."

Six months later shecame out and she found him again sleeping with his knees to his chest. She said, "What is happening now?"

He said, "I don't sleep under the quilt anymore." She said, "Why not?"

He said, "My neighbors all sleep under cashmere blankets."

She said, "They are fat. They are slobs. They don't feel the cold at all. You are a beautiful, skinny person. Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know," he said.

That is our status about ourselves. Our answer is, "I don't know." I lived in India for 40 years. In all that time I never heard one person answer, "I don't know. " Never. I have been here 15 years and I have heard nothing but "I don't know." We say that as Americans we are very educated, we are very beautiful. India is a third world country, third world economy. It is a mosquito country, if you know what I mean. But still, they know—and here we have the consciousness of, "I don't know,'' we have no sense of Self.

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Typical Blocks

Americans have some fanatic fantasies. To understand this you have to understand how the country works and how the nation works. You have all come from different ethnic groups; and basically, you all came to escape persecution. You ran away from persecution of one sort or another, economic, social, religious, whatever it was. You made a conscious revolt against some persecution. You left your

n a M To Man

Man To IV Ia n

This is a basic ethnic revolt against authority. We are a nation of nations but we are very anti-authority.- We love God; but God is the highest authority, God is

the ultimate authority, God is the Infinite. We do not want to relate to the Infinite because we will be accountable to the Infinite, .and we don't want to be accountable so we become emotional -

To solve our .dilemma, we spend $70 an hour for psychoanalysis, $120 an hour for a

psychiatrist and $20 dollars an hour for massage. We go out to restaurant A, to restaurant B. You will find a whole world of restaurants in America because we are unable to decide what we want to eat, We are unable to decide what we want to wear. We are unable to decide who we want to marry. We are unable to decide what to do with our children. We do not even know what to do with pigeons. Test it out. Stop an American on the street tomorrow:

Say, "Thank you, hello, how are you." He will say, "Hi, how are you?"

"I am glad to meet you,"

He will say,5"I am glad to meet you. Thank you very much."

Give a pigeon to hirri and tell him, "This is for you," and just watch what he will do and what his reaction will be. Write it down, study it and understand it Americans can handle landing on the moon, but they don't know how to handle a gift of a pigeon. We have a block toward getting anything.

We have a block toward committing to anything. We are not committed to our children. We are not committed to our marriages. We are not committed to our homes. We are not committed to our families. We are not committed to our souls. We are not committed to our spirits, We are not committed to our surroundings. We are not committed to -our neighborhoods,-We'are not committed .-to bur county We are not committed to anything. We have only one commitment. We are committed to everything—which means ■nothing,..

We have a block against committing. When we say We are committed we feeithat we are being dropped into a snake pit. For us there is nodifference between acommitment and a snake pit. Someone says, "Are you committed?" and you say, "Yes." Then you feel it—that snake pit is what you feel. When somebody tells you to deal with character, you can't relate. You know what character means to you? It means doing nothing. It means being pious. Nor can you relate

to being told, "Be noble," There is no worse abuse for an American than to tell him, "Be noble." He remembers the noblemen of England, the barons, the dukes, the lords. The American thinks of himself as a guerilla. This is because we won our country with guerilla warfare. We hid and we fired on the British soldiers as they came forward, line by line, in rank and file. We kept on firing and finished them off. We even got them on the run. We learned to be guerillas and now it sits in us as a fagade.

You were not born in the 18th Century but the 18th Century is living in you. You love to be guerillas playing hide and seek. You even play hide and seek with love. You don't say, "Come, I love you." You can't say that. No, you say, "Hello, how are you? I think I met you somewhere. What are you doing? What are you doing this evening? Is it free?" You

do it all in a roundabout way. You don't say, "Hello, I am so-and-so. You are so-and-so. I love you. I would like to take you out tonight. We can talk and see how we get on." You can't do it. There is no way. It is beyond your level of commitment. Once you say, "Hi, I love you. I want to take you out and talk to you,/' you feel that because you have made a commitment, it is a snake pit. But still you don't want to talk about it. Eight?

Once I was speaking with a husband and wife. A girl came by and said, "Hi, Yogi Bhajan how are you?"

I said, "Oh good, thank you, How are you?" She said, "I am fine. I am this and that"

We talked for a few minutes, She split. Then we split and I asked this boy, "Who was that?"

"Oh, no, no Sir, she was our yoga student at one time." And he said this in such a way that it created a curiosity in me.

I said, "I think you know her." I was just a little direct.

He said, "Yeah, yeah, she used to be my yoga student, too."

I looked at his wife and she said, "Sir, he used to live with her."

You have learned this from your history. It is your character to hide and fire. You don't want to face the fire. You want to bite the bullet but you do not want to face the bullet. That is why you have pain in life and much less courage.

On your currency you wrote, "In God We Trust." You had to write that because you have a tremendous block against authority. It doesn't matter if somebody gives you a lot of good advice. For you, good advice is a chain around your neck. For you, good advice and a collar are no different. Imagine a dog. Imagine a huge, thick, unbreakable steel collar around his neck. Imagine hooks on that collar. There are 20, 30, maybe 40 hooks, and every hook has a chain. Imagine that. Then imagine the 20 or 30 chains being held by 20 or 30 people who are pulling the dog. That's what

good advice means to you and you relate to it just like that dog, "Grmrrrrrrrr. Arrrrrrrrrrrr." If your wife says, "My husband, listen to me," you will say, "Arrrrrrrrr. Why do I have to listen to you? What do you want?" If your spiritual teacher says, "My dear son, please." You will say, "What? What?" Goodness and kindness means impotency to you. It has taken me 15 years to understand what words mean to you.

God blessed me to read the aura and so I read it. One day a man came to me. He is very active, fit and all that, plus he has three children. Beautiful. I love him

very much. He is a good student. I said, "Please sit down."

He said, "No, sir, can I sit at your feet."

I said, "No." (He always comes and touches my feet.) I realized that he must know that if he sits within nine feet of me, I may not be able to read his aura, so, I said, "No, sit on that sofa."

He said, "No, no, no. By your feet, I like to touch your feet."

I said, "You are very beautiful. I un­

derstand, but just sit there." After all, what could he do? He had to sit down right there where he was, but now he was cautious. Then I could see his aura and I said, "You are very noble." I didn't say, "Are you noble or are you not?" I didn't put him on the offensive. I said, "You are very noble." I watched. I read the aura well. He became more and more gray, and then I said, "You are very kind. You are very sweet." I waited a moment and I said, "You are very darling." He became a girl. He was not a man anymore. I cracked up. I said to myself, "Look, there is nothing more to do with this guy. If he wants to fight with me, I only need to say, 'You are very sweet,' and he is going to go limp."

■Yourlanguage is very aggressive and undiplomatic. Tocover this undiplomatic language and your fear of commitment, you have become a first-name nation. "Hi Bob, hi Harry, hi Kee, hi Pee, hi You, hi Shit, hi Pit, hi Lit." God knows what you say to anybody. It doesn't mean a thing. What is her name? Katherine da-do-du. Who is she? Kathy. " Kathy, Mathy, Pathy, Othey, Ethy." "Me Kathy, me Robin, me Till, me Pill, me Shill, me Chill." "Hi. Hi." Nothing means anything to you. You deny the identity of others to find your identity. Others deny your identity to find their identity. You have a non-identity existence. This is because you are immigrants. You were immigrants, but you have become immigrants now and forever. You have created a tremendous block. You don't want to talk. You don't want to know. You don't want to discuss it at all.

You know if somebody dies in India we say, "hi, hi, hi." It means something bad has happened. But here this is our hello. We can't even say, "Hello." We say, "Hi." We have made our communication so shallow, so hollow, so

superficial and so ruthless because we have a block against commitment. We want to have character and when it comes to character, we want to talk about it; but when it comes to commitment, we have nothing to say. We want to have a home but we don't have a foundation. We want to live the story of that man who built a house in a tree. Robinson Crusoe. You have been to Disneyland? There is no Disneyland without that house. That house is our history. I have seen a lot of homes built in trees, tree houses. We want to build a house in a tree—like birds—so we can fly away when we want to. And we do it in the name of our

children. Papa builds it for the children but Papa plays in that tree house more than his children. Papa wants to be a bird. He wants to have a new nest every year—a new nest, a new mate, new eggs, hatch them and fly away. The net result is broken homes, divorced parents, half homes, half parents, half mother, half father, all that. One, two, three, four, five: meet my first wife, meet my other wife, and meet an­ other wife.

One day I was introduced to four wives in a row and I was talking to the fifth wife. I looked around and then I stepped to the side and said, "Was that person joking?"

The husband said, "No, no. I have been divorced four times.

anybody, they don't date anybody?"

He said, "No, no, no. They don't. I take care of them."

I said, "Take care of them? Then why did you divorce them?"

He said, "That is a mystery."

His fifth wife said, " I think I am going to be with them soon."

I said, "What are you saying?"

She said, "I think this is what is going to happen to me, too."

The same cycle: every wife got divorced after the second child—every single one. Plus each one got more after her divorce than when she was his wife. When she was his wife, she was not given anything, but now she is given everything. Everything is being taken care of. Same cycle. Same orbit. Same four seasons. At its nucleus is the number one block—no commitment.

When you are married you don’t pay any attention to your wife, you don’t pay any attention to your children, you don't pay attention to your environment. When you are divorced, at eight o'clock every Sunday, the door bell rings. "Why have you come?" "To take my children on an outing." All

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