The wandering Dong through the forest goes! The Dong!—the Dong!
The Dong with a Luminous Nose!’
‘The Dong with a Luminous Nose’ (1871)
O My agéd Uncle Arly! Sitting on a heap of Barley
Thro’ the silent hours of night,— Close beside a leafy thicket;— On his nose there was a Cricket,— In his hat a Railway-Ticket;— (But his shoes were far too tight.)
‘Incidents in the Life of my Uncle Arly’ (1871)
Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a Sieve.
‘The Jumblies’ (1871)
They called aloud ‘Our Sieve ain’t big,
But we don’t care a button! We don’t care a fig!’
‘The Jumblies’ (1871)
And they brought an Owl, and a useful Cart, And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart, And a hive of silvery Bees.
And they brought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws,
And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws, and forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree, And no end of Stilton Cheese.
‘The Jumblies’ (1871)
Nasticreechia Krorluppia.
‘More Nonsense’ (1872) ‘Nonsense Botany’
There was an old person of Ware, Who rode on the back of a bear: When they asked,—’Does it trot?’— He said, ‘Certainly not!
He’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear.’
‘More Nonsense’ (1872) ‘One Hundred Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes’
There was an old man of Thermopylae, Who never did anything properly;
But they said, ‘If you choose To boil eggs in your shoes,
You shall never remain in Thermopylae.’
‘More Nonsense’ (1872) ‘One Hundred Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes’
Till Mrs Discobbolos said ‘Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
It has just come into my head— Suppose we should happen to fall!!!! Darling Mr Discobbolos?’
‘Mr and Mrs Discobbolos’ (1871)
‘How pleasant to know Mr Lear!’ Who has written such volumes of stuff! Some think him ill-tempered and queer, But a few think him pleasant enough.
‘Nonsense Songs’ (1871) preface
He has many friends, laymen and clerical. Old Foss is the name of his cat:
His body is perfectly spherical, He weareth a runcible hat.
‘Nonsense Songs’ (1871) preface
The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat.
They took some honey, and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the Stars above And sang to a small guitar,
‘Oh lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are.’
‘The Owl and the Pussy-Cat’ (1871)
Pussy said to the Owl, ‘You elegant fowl! How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried: But what shall we do for a ring?’
They sailed away for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows, And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose.
‘The Owl and the Pussy-Cat’ (1871)
‘Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?’ Said the Piggy, ‘I will.’
‘The Owl and the Pussy-Cat’ (1871)
They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon.
‘The Owl and the Pussy-Cat’ (1871)
The Pobble who has no toes Had once as many as we;
When they said, ‘Some day you may lose them all’;— He replied,—’Fish fiddle de-dee!’
His Aunt Jobiska made him drink Lavender water tinged with pink,
For she said, ‘The world in general knows
There’s nothing so good for a Pobble’s toes!’
‘The Pobble Who Has No Toes’ (1871)
When boats or ships came near him He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell.
‘The Pobble Who Has No Toes’ (1871)
He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska’s Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!
‘The Pobble Who Has No Toes’ (1871)
‘But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree The plainer than ever it seems to me
That very few people come this way
And that life on the whole is far from gay!’ Said the Quangle-Wangle Quee.
‘The Quangle-Wangle’s Hat’ (1871)
And what can we expect if we haven’t any dinner,
But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?
‘The Two Old Bachelors’ (1871)
12.44 Timothy Leary 1920—
If you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in and drop out.
Lecture, June 1966, in ‘The Politics of Ecstasy’ (1968) ch. 21
12.45 Mary Elizabeth Lease 1853-1933
Kansas had better stop raising corn and begin raising hell.
Attributed
12.46 F. R. Leavis 1895-1978
The common pursuit.
Title of book (1952)
The few really great—the major novelists...are significant in terms of the human awareness they promote; awareness of the possibilities of life.
‘The Great Tradition’ (1948) ch. 1
He [Rupert Brooke] energized the Garden-Suburb ethos with a certain original talent and the vigour of a prolonged adolescence...rather like Keats’s vulgarity with a Public School accent.
‘New Bearings in English Poetry’ (1932) ch. 2
The Sitwells belong to the history of publicity rather than of poetry.
‘New Bearings in English Poetry’ (1932) ch. 2
Self-contempt, well-grounded.
On the foundation of T. S. Eliot’s work, in ‘Times Literary Supplement’ 21 October 1988, p. 1177 (from a BBC radio talk by Christopher Ricks)
12.47 Fran Lebowitz
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death.
‘Metropolitan Life’ (1978) p. 6
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
‘Metropolitan Life’ (1978) p. 101
12.48 Stanislaw Lec 1909-66
Is it progress if a cannibal uses knife and fork?
‘Mysli Nieuczesane’ (Unkempt Thoughts, 1962) p. 78
12.49 John le Carrè (David John Moore Cornwell) 1931—
The spy who came in from the cold.
Title of novel (1963)
12.50 Le Corbusier (Charles Èdouard Jeanneret) 1887-1965
Une maison est une machine-á-habiter.
A house is a machine for living in.
‘Vers une architecture’ (Towards an Architecture, 1923) p. ix.
This frightful word [function] was born under other skies than those I have loved—those where the sun shines supreme.
Quoted in letter to ‘The Times’ 15 January 1992
12.51 Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin 1807-74
Eh! je suis leur chef, il fallait bien les suivre.
Ah well! I am their leader, I have to follow them!
In E. de Mirecourt ‘Histoire Contemporaine’ no. 79 ‘Ledru-Rollin’ (1857)
12.52 Gypsy Rose Lee (Rose Louise Hovick) 1914-70
God is love but get it in writing.
Attributed
12.53 Harper Lee 1926—
Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.
‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ (1960) ch. 10
12.54 Henry Lee (‘Light-Horse Harry’) 1756-1818
A citizen, first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.
‘Resolutions Adopted by the Congress on the Death of Washington’, 19 December 1799; moved by John Marshall and misquoted in his Life of Washington as ‘...first in the hearts of his fellow citizens.’
12.55 Laurie Lee 1914—
I was set down from the carrier’s cart at the age of three; and there with a sense of bewilderment and terror my life in the village began.
‘Cider with Rosie’ (1959) p. 9
Such a morning it is when love leans through geranium windows and calls with a cockerel’s tongue.
When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.
‘Day of these Days’ (1947)
12.56 Nathaniel Lee c.1653-92
He speaks the kindest words, and looks such things, Vows with so much passion, swears with so much grace. That ’tis a kind of heaven to be deluded by him.
‘The Rival Queens’ (1677) act 1
’Tis beauty calls and glory leads the way.
‘The Rival Queens’ (1677) act 1
Then he will talk, Good Gods, How he will talk.
‘The Rival Queens’ (1677) act 3
When Greeks joined Greeks, then was the tug of war!
‘The Rival Queens’ (1677) act 4, sc. 2
Philip fought men, but Alexander women.
‘The Rival Queens’ (1677) act 4, sc. 2
Man, false man, smiling, destructive man.
‘Theodosius’ (1680) act 3, sc. 2
12.57 Robert E. Lee 1807-70
It is well that war is so terrible. We should grow too fond of it.
Attributed; after the battle of Fredericksburg, December 1862
12.58 Richard Le Gallienne 1866-1947
The cry of the Little Peoples goes up to God in vain, For the world is given over to the cruel sons of Cain.
‘The Cry of the Little Peoples’
12.59 Ernest Lehman
Sweet smell of success.
Title of book and film (1957)
12.60 Tom Lehrer 1928—
Plagiarize! Let no one else’s work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes.
‘Lobachevski’ (1953 song)
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Preamble to ‘We Will All Go Together When We Go’, in ‘An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer’ (1953 record album)
And we will all go together when we go— Every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
‘We Will All Go Together When We Go’ (1953 song)
12.61 Fred W. Leigh d. 1924
There was I, waiting at the church,
Waiting at the church, waiting at the church, When I found he’d left me in the lurch...
Here’s the very note, This is what he wrote—
‘Can’t get away to marry you today, My wife won’t let me!’
‘Waiting at the Church (My Wife Won’t Let Me)’ (1906 song)
12.62 Fred W. Leigh d. 1924, Charles Collins, and Lily Morris
Why am I always the bridesmaid, Never the blushing bride?
‘Why Am I Always the Bridesmaid?’ (1917 song)
12.63 Henry Sambrooke Leigh 1837-83
The rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Of drinking at somebody else’s expense.
‘Carols of Cockayne’ (1869) ‘Stanzas to an Intoxicated Fly’
12.64 Charles G. Leland 1824-1903
Hans Breitmann gife a barty— Vhere ish dat barty now?
‘Hans Breitmann’s Barty’
All goned afay mit de lager-beer— Afay in de ewigkeit!
‘Hans Breitmann’s Barty’
They saw a Dream of Loveliness descending from the train.
‘The Masher’
12.65 Curtis E. LeMay 1906-90
They’ve got to draw in their horns and stop their aggression, or we’re going to bomb them back into the Stone Age.
On the North Vietnamese, in ‘Mission with LeMay’ (1965) p. 565
12.66 Lenin (Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov) 1870-1924
Communism is Soviet power plus the electrification of the whole country.
Report to 8th Congress, 1920, in ‘Collected Works’ (ed. 5) vol. 42, p. 30
Imperialism is the monopoly stage of capitalism.
‘Briefest possible definition of imperialism’ in ‘Imperialism as the Last Stage of Capitalism’ ch. 7
No, Democracy is not identical with majority rule. No, Democracy is a State which recognizes the subjection of the minority to the majority, that is, an organization for the systematic use of violence by one class against the other, by one part of the population against another.
‘State and Revolution’ (1919) ch. 4
While the State exists, there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State.
‘State and Revolution’ (1919) ch. 5
What is to be done?
Title of pamphlet (1902)
Who? Whom? We or they?
Definition of his political theory, in Alan Bullock ‘Hitler and Stalin’ (1991)
A good man fallen among Fabians.
On George Bernard Shaw, in Arthur Ransome ‘Six Weeks in Russia in 1919’ (1919) ‘Notes of Conversations with Lenin’
Liberty is precious—so precious that it must be rationed.
In Sidney and Beatrice Webb ‘Soviet Communism’ (1936) p. 1036
12.67 John Lennon 1940-80
Imagine there’s no heaven, It’s easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky, Imagine all the people Living for today.
‘Imagine’ (1971 song)
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewellery.
At Royal Variety Performance, 4 November 1963, in R. Colman ‘John Winston Lennon’ (1984) pt. 1, ch. 11
We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first—rock ’n’ roll or Christianity.
‘Evening Standard’ 4 March 1966 (interview with Maureen Cleave).
12.68 John Lennon 1940-1980 and Paul McCartney 1942—
Back in the USSR.
Title of song (1968)
For I don’t care too much for money, For money can’t buy me love.
‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ (1964 song)
I heard the news today, oh boy.
Four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire. And though the holes were rather small, They had to count them all.
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. I’d love to turn you on.
‘A Day in the Life’ (1967 song)
Give peace a chance.
Title of song (1969)
It’s been a hard day’s night,
And I’ve been working like a dog.
‘A Hard Day’s Night’ (1964 song)
Strawberry fields forever.
Title of song (1967)
She’s got a ticket to ride, but she don’t care.
‘Ticket to Ride’ (1965 song)
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I’m sixty four?
‘When I’m Sixty Four’ (1967 song)
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends.
‘With a Little Help From My Friends’ (1967 song)
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
‘Yesterday’ (1965 song)
12.69 Dan Leno (George Galvin) 1860-1904
Ah! what is man? Wherefore does he why? Whence did he whence? Whither is he withering?
‘Dan Leno Hys Booke’ (1901) ch. 1
12.70 William Lenthall 1591-1662
I have neither eye to see, nor tongue to speak here, but as the House is pleased to direct me.
Said to Charles I on 4 January 1642, when asked if he saw any of the five M.P.s whom the King had ordered to be arrested, in John Rushworth ‘Historical Collections. The Third Part’ vol. 2 (1692) p. 478
12.71 Leonardo da Vinci 1452-1519
Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but rather memory.
Edward McCurdy (ed. and trans.) ‘Leonardo da Vinci’s Notebooks’ (1906) bk. 1, p. 54
Every man at three years old is half his height.
Irma A. Richter (ed.) ‘Selections from the Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci’ (World’s Classics, 1952) p. 149
The poet ranks far below the painter in the representation of visible things, and far below the musician in that of invisible things.
Irma A. Richter (ed.) ‘Selections from the Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci’ (World’s Classics, 1952) p. 198
Life well spent is long.
Irma A. Richter (ed.) ‘Selections from the Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci’ (World’s Classics, 1952)
Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigour of the mind.
Irma A. Richter (ed.) ‘Selections from the Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci’ (World’s Classics, 1952)
[In Nature’s] inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous.
Irma A. Richter (ed.) ‘Selections from the Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci’ (World’s Classics, 1952)
12.72 Alan Jay Lerner 1918-86
Thank heaven for little girls!
For little girls get bigger every day.
‘Gigi’ (1958) ‘Thank Heaven for Little Girls’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
I’m getting married in the morning, Ding! dong! the bells are gonna chime. Pull out the stopper;
Let’s have a whopper;
But get me to the church on time!
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956) ‘Get Me to the Church on Time’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
Why can’t a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Why can’t a woman be like that?
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956) ‘A Hymn to Him’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
I’ve grown accustomed to the trace Of something in the air; Accustomed to her face.
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956) ‘I’ve Grown Accustomed to her Face’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956) ‘The Rain in Spain’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
In Hampshire, Hertfordshire, and Herefordshire, Hurricanes hardly ever happen.
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956) ‘The Rain in Spain’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
All I want is a room somewhere, Far away from the cold night air, With one enormous chair;
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956) ‘Wouldn’t it be Loverly’ (music by Frederick Loewe)
Oozing charm from every pore, He oiled his way around the floor.
‘My Fair Lady’ (1956)
12.73 Doris Lessing 1919—
There’s only one real sin, and that is to persuade oneself that the second-best is anything but the second-best.
‘The Golden Notebook’ (1962) p. 554
When old settlers say ‘One has to understand the country,’ what they mean is, ‘You have to get used to our ideas about the native.’
‘The Grass is Singing’ (1950) ch. 1
When a white man in Africa by accident looks into the eyes of a native and sees the human being (which it is his chief preoccupation to avoid), his sense of guilt, which he denies, fumes up in resentment and he brings down the whip.
‘The Grass is Singing’ (1950) ch. 8
Pleasure resorts are like film stars and royalty...embarrassed by the figures they cut in the fantasies of people who have never met them.
‘The Habit of Loving’ (1957) ch. 17
What of October, that ambiguous month, the month of tension, the unendurable month?
‘The Martha Quest’ (1952) pt. 4, ch. 1
What is charm then? The free giving of a grace, the spending of something given by nature in her role of spendthrift...something extra, superfluous, unnecessary, essentially a power thrown away.
