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RALPH THE HEIR
“It must be settled very soon, Mr. Newton; — it must indeed. My son can’t be calling on you day after day, and all
for nothing. We can’t stand that you know, Mr. Newton. Perhaps you’ll oblige me by saying when it will be settled.” Then
Ralph explained that he had called for that purpose, that he
was making arrangements for paying all his creditors, and
that he hoped that Mr. Moggs would have his money within
three months at the farthest. Mr. Moggs then proposed that he
should have his customer’s bill at three months, and the interview ended by the due manufacture of a document to that effect. Ralph, when he entered the shop, had not intended to
give a bill; but the pressure had been too great upon him, and
he had yielded. It would matter little, however, if he married
Polly Neefit. And had he not now accepted it as his destiny
that he must marry Polly Neefit?
The Saturday he passed in much trouble of spirit, and with
many doubts; but the upshot of it all was that he would keep
his engagement for the Sunday. His last chance of escape would
have been to call in Conduit Street on the Saturday and tell Mr.
Neefit, with such apologies as he might be able to make, that
the marriage would not be suitable. While sitting at breakfast
he had almost resolved to do this; — but when five o’clock came,
after which, as he well knew, the breeches-maker would not
be found, no such step had been taken. He dined that evening
and went to the theatre with Lieutenant Cox. At twelve they
were joined by Fooks and another gay spirit, and they eat chops
and drank stout and listened to songs at Evans’s till near two.
Cox and Fooks said that they had never been so jolly in their
lives; — but Ralph, — though he eat and drank as much and
talked more than the others, — was far from happy. There
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
came upon him a feeling that after to-morrow he would never
again be able to call himself a gentleman. Who would associate
with him after he had married the breeches-maker’s daughter?
He laid in bed late on Sunday, and certainly went to no place of
worship. Would it not be well even yet to send a letter down to
Neefit, telling him that the thing could not be? The man would
be very angry with him, and would have great cause to be angry. But it would at least be better to do this now than hereafter. But when four o’clock came no letter had been sent.
Punctually at five the cab set him down at Alexandrina
Cottage. How well he seemed to know the place; — almost
as well as though he were already one of the family. He was
shown into the drawing-room, and whom should he see there,
seated with Mr. and Mrs. and Miss Neefit, but Ontario Moggs.
It was clear enough that each of the party was ill at ease. Neefit
welcomed him with almost boisterous hospitality. Mrs. Neefit
merely curtseyed and bobbed at him. Polly smiled, and shook
hands with him, and told him that he was welcome; — but
even Polly was a little beside herself. Ontario Moggs stood bolt
upright and made him a low bow, but did not attempt to speak.
“I hope your father is well,” said Ralph, addressing himself to Moggs junior.
“Pretty well, I thank you,” said Mr. Moggs, getting up from
his chair and bowing a second time.
Mr. Neefit waited for a moment or two during which no
one except Ralph spoke a word, and then invited his intended
son-in-law to follow him into the garden. “The fact is,” said
Neefit winking, “this is Mrs. N.‘s doing. It don’t make any difference, you know.”
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RALPH THE HEIR
“I don’t quite understand,” said Ralph.
“You see we’ve known Onty Moggs all our lives, and no
doubt he has been sweet upon Polly. But Polly don’t care for
him, mind you. You ask her. And Mrs. N. has got it into her
head that she don’t want you for Polly. But I do, Mr. Newton; — and I’m master.”
“I wouldn’t for the world make a family quarrel.”
“There won’t be no quarrelling. It’s I as has the purse, and
it’s the purse as makes the master, Mr. Newton. Don’t you
mind Moggs. Moggs is very well in his way, but he ain’t going to have our Polly. Well; — he come down here to-day, just
by chance; — and what did Mrs. N. do but ask him to stop and
eat a bit of dinner! It don’t make any difference, you know. You
come in now, and just go on as though Moggs weren’t there.
You and Polly shall have it all to yourselves this evening.”
Here was a new feature added to the pleasures of his courtship! He had a rival, — and such a rival; — his own bootmaker,
whom he could not pay, and whose father had insulted him
a day or two since. Moggs junior would of course know why his
customer was dining at Alexandrina Cottage, and would have
his own feelings, too, upon the occasion.
“Don’t you mind him, — no more than nothing,” said Neefit, leading the way back into the drawing-room, and passing at the top of the kitchen stairs the young woman with
the bit of salmon.
The dinner was not gay. In the first place, Neefit and Mrs.
Neefit gave very explicit and very opposite directions as to
the manner in which their guests were to walk in to dinner, the result of which was that Ralph was obliged to give
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
his arm to the elder lady, while Ontario carried off the prize.
Mrs. Neefit also gave directions as to the places, which were
obeyed in spite of an attempt of Neefit’s to contravene them.
Ontario and Polly sat on one side of the table, while Ralph
sat opposite to them. Neefit, when he saw that the arrangement was made and could not be altered, lost his temper and
scolded his wife. “Law, papa, what does it matter?” said Polly. Polly’s position certainly was unpleasant enough; but she
made head against her difficulties gallantly. Ontario, who had
begun to guess the truth, said not a word. He was not, however, long in making up his mind that a personal encounter
with Mr. Ralph Newton might be good for his system. Mrs.
Neefit nagged at her husband, and told him when he complained about the meat, that if he would look after the drinkables that would be quite enough for him to do. Ralph himself
found it to be impossible even to look as though things were
going right. Never in his life had he been in a position so uncomfortable, — or, as he thought, so disreputable. It was not to
be endured that Moggs, his bootmaker, should see him sitting
at the table of Neefit, his breeches-maker.
The dinner was at last over, and the port-wine was carried
out into the arbour; — not, on this occasion, by Polly, but by
the maid. Polly and Mrs. Neefit went off together, while Ralph
crowded into the little summer-house with Moggs and Neefit.
In this way half an hour was passed, — a half hour of terrible
punishment. But there was worse coming. “Mr. Newton,” said
Neefit, “I think I heard something about your taking a walk
with our Polly. If you like to make a start of it, don’t let us keep
you. Moggs and I will have a pipe together.”
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RALPH THE HEIR
“I also intend to walk with Miss Neefit,” said Ontario,
standing up bravely.
“Two’s company and three’s none,” said Neefit.
“No doubt,” said Ontario; “no doubt. I feel that myself. Mr.
Newton, I’ve been attached to Miss Neefit these two years.
I don’t mind saying it out straight before her father. I love Miss
Neefit! I don’t know, sir, what your ideas are; but I love Miss
Neefit! Perhaps, sir, your ideas may be money; — my ideas are
a pure affection for that young lady. Now, Mr. Newton, you
know what my ideas are.” Mr. Moggs junior was standing up
when he made this speech, and, when he had completed it, he
looked round, first upon her father and then upon his rival.
“She’s never given you no encouragement,” said Neefit.
“How dare you speak in that way about my Polly?”
“I do dare,” said Ontario. “There!”
“Will you tell Mr. Newton that she ever gave you any encouragement?”
Ontario thought about it for a moment, before he replied.
“No; — I will not,” said he. “To say that of any young woman
wouldn’t be in accord with my ideas.”
“Because you can’t. It’s all gammon. She don’t mean to have
him, Mr. Newton. You may take my word for that. You go in
and ask her if she do. A pretty thing indeed! I can’t invite my
friend, Mr. Newton, to eat a bit of dinner, and let him walk
out with my Polly, but you must interfere. If you had her tomorrow you wouldn’t have a shilling with her.”
“I don’t want a shilling with her!” said Ontario, still standing
upon his legs. “I love her. Will Mr. Newton say as fair as that?”
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
Mr. Newton found it very difficult to say anything. Even
had he been thoroughly intent on the design of making Polly
his wife, he could not have brought himself to declare his love
aloud, as had just been done by Mr. Moggs. “This is a sort of
matter that shouldn’t be discussed in public,” he said at last.
“Public or private, I love her!” said Ontario Moggs with his
hand on his heart.
Polly herself was certainly badly treated among them.
She got no walk that evening, and received no assurance of
undying affection either from one suitor or the other. It became manifest even to Neefit himself that the game could not
be played out on this evening. He could not turn Moggs off
the premises, because his wife would have interfered. Nor, had
he done so, would it have been possible, after such an affair to
induce Polly to stir from the house. She certainly had been
badly used among them; and so she took occasion to tell her
father when the visitors were both gone. They left the house
together at about eight, and Polly at that time had not reappeared. Moggs went to the nearest station of the Midland
Railway, and Ralph walked to the Swiss Cottage. Certainly Mr.
Neefit’s little dinner had been unsuccessful; but Ralph Newton, as he went back to London, was almost disposed to think
that Providence had interposed to save him.
“I’ll tell you what it is, father,” said Polly to her papa, as soon
as the two visitors had left the house, “if that’s the way you are
going to go on, I’ll never marry anybody as long as I live.”
“My dear, it was all your mother,” said Mr. Neefit. “Now
wasn’t it all your mother? I wish she’d been blowed fust!”
CHAPTER X
SIR THOMAS IN HIS
CHAMBERS
It will be remembered that Sir Thomas Underwood had
declined to give his late ward any advice at that interview
which took place in Southampton Buildings; — or rather that
the only advice which he had given to the young man was to
cut his throat. The idle word had left no impression on Ralph
Newton; — but still it had been spoken, and was remembered
by Sir Thomas. When he was left alone after the young man’s
departure he was very unhappy. It was not only that he had
spoken a word so idle when he ought to have been grave and
wise, but that he felt that he had been altogether remiss in his
duty as guide, philosopher, and friend. There were old sorrows,
too, on this score. In the main Sir Thomas had discharged well
a most troublesome, thankless, and profitless duty towards
the son of a man who had not been related to him, and with
whom an accidental intimacy had been ripened into friendship by letter rather than by social intercourse. Ralph Newton’s father had been the younger brother of the present
Gregory Newton, of Newton Priory, and had been the parson of the parish of Peele Newton, — as was now Ralph’s
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
younger brother, Gregory. The present squire of Newton had
been never married, and the property, as has before been said,
had been settled on Ralph, as the male heir, — provided, of
course, that his uncle left no legitimate son of his own. It had
come to pass that the two brothers, Gregory and Ralph, had
quarrelled about matters of property, and had not spoken for
years before the death of the younger. Ralph at this time had
been just old enough to be brought into the quarrel. There
had been questions of cutting timber and of leases, as to which
the parson, acting on his son’s behalf, had opposed the Squire
with much unnecessary bitterness and suspicion. And it was
doubtless the case that the Squire resented bitterly an act done
by his own father with the view of perpetuating the property in the true line of the Newtons. For when the settlement
was made on the marriage of the younger brother, the elder
was already the father of a child, whom he loved none the less
because that child’s mother had not become his wife. So
the quarrel had been fostered, and at the time of the parson’s
death had extended itself to the young man who was his son,
and the heir to the estate. When on his death-bed, the parson had asked Mr. Underwood, who had just then entered
the House of Commons, to undertake this guardianship; and
the lawyer, with many doubts, had consented. He had striven,
but striven in vain, to reconcile the uncle and nephew. And,
indeed, he was ill-fitted to accomplish such task. He could
only write letters on the subject, which were very sensible but
very cold; — in all of which he would be careful to explain
that the steps which had been taken in regard to the property
were in strict conformity with the law. The old Squire would
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RALPH THE HEIR
have nothing to do with his heir, — in which resolution he was
strengthened by the tidings which reached him of his heir’s
manner of living. He was taught to believe that everything was
going to the dogs with the young man, and was wont to say
that Newton Priory, with all its acres, would be found to have
gone to the dogs too when his day was done; — unless, indeed,
Ralph should fortunately kill himself by drink or evil living, in
which case the property would go to the younger Gregory,
the present parson. Now the present parson of Newton was
his uncle’s friend. Whether that friendship would have been
continued had Ralph died and the young clergyman become
the heir, may be matter of doubt.
This disagreeable duty of guardianship Sir Thomas had
performed with many scruples of conscience, and a determination to do his best; — and he had nearly done it well. But he was
a man who could not do it altogether well, let his scruples of
conscience be what they might. He had failed in obtaining
a father’s control over the young man; and even in regard to
the property which had passed through his hands, — though
he had been careful with it, — he had not been adroit. Even
at this moment things had not been settled which should
have been settled; and Sir Thomas had felt, when Ralph had
spoken of selling all that remained to him and of paying his
debts, that there would be fresh trouble, and that he might be
forced to own that he had been himself deficient.
And then he told himself, — and did so as soon as Ralph
had left him, — that he should have given some counsel to
the young man when he came to ask for it. “You had better
cut your throat!” In his troubled spirit he had said that, and
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
now his spirit was troubled the more because he had so spoken. He sat for hours thinking of it all. Ralph Newton was
the undoubted heir to a very large property. He was now embarrassed, — but all his present debts did not amount to much
more than half one year’s income of that property which would
be his, — probably in about ten years. The Squire might live
for twenty years, or might die to-morrow; but his life-interest in the estate, according to the usual calculations, was not
worth more than ten years’ purchase. Could he, Sir Thomas,
have been right to tell a young man, whose prospects were so
good, and whose debts, after all, were so light, that he ought to
go and cut his throat, as the only way of avoiding a disreputable marriage which would otherwise be forced upon him by
the burden of his circumstances? Would not a guardian, with
any true idea of his duty, would not a friend, whose friendship
was in any degree real, have found a way out of such difficulties as these?
And then as to the marriage itself, — the proposed marriage with the breeches-maker’s daughter, — the more Sir
Thomas thought of it the more distasteful did it become to him.
He knew that Ralph was unaware of all the evil that would
follow such a marriage; — relatives whose every thought and
action and word would be distasteful to him; children whose
mother would not be a lady, and whose blood would be polluted by an admixture so base; — and, worse still, a life’s companion who would be deficient in all those attributes which
such a man as Ralph Newton should look for in a wife. Sir
Thomas was a man to magnify rather than lessen these evils.
And now he allowed his friend, — a man for whose behalf he
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