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Файл:Ayala’s Angel III
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AYALA’S ANGEL
making had been an episode which had passed away, and that
the old pleasant friendship still remained. As yet, while they
were standing there in the hall, there had come no moment
for her to feel whether there was anything to regret in this. But
certainly there had been comfort in it. She had been able to
appear before all her Stalham friends, in the presence even of
the man himself, without any of that consciousness which
would have oppressed her had he come there simply as her
acknowledged lover, and had she come there conscious before
all the guests that it was so.
Then they sat for a while drinking tea and eating buttered
toast in the drawing-room. A supply of buttered toast fully to
gratify the wants of three or four men just home from hunting has never yet been created by the resources of any establishment. But the greater marvel is that the buttered toast has
never the slightest effect on the dinner which is to follow in
an hour or two. During this period the conversation turned
chiefly upon hunting, — which is of all subjects the most imperious. It never occurs to a hunting-man to suppose that either
a lady, or a bishop, or a political economist, can be indifferent to hunting. There is something beyond millinery, — beyond the interests of the church, — beyond the price of
wheat, — in that great question whether the hounds did or did
not change their fox in Gobblegoose Wood. On the present occasion Sir Harry was quite sure that the hounds did carry their
fox through Gobblegoose Wood, whereas Captain Glomax,
who had formerly been master of the pack which now obeyed
Sir Harry, was perfectly certain that they had got upon another animal, who went away from Gobblegoose as fresh as paint.
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
He pretended even to ridicule Sir Harry for supposing that
any fox could have run at that pace up Buddlecombe Hill who
had travelled all the way from Stickborough Gorse. To this Sir
Harry replied resentfully that the Captain did not know what
were the running powers of a dog-fox in March. Then he told
various stories of what had been done in this way at this special
period of the year. Glomax, however, declared that he knew as
much of a fox as any man in England, and that he would eat
both the foxes, and the wood, and Sir Harry, and, finally, himself, if the animal which had run up Buddlecombe Hill was
the same which they brought with them from Stickborough
Gorse into Gobblegoose Wood. So the battle raged, and the ladies no doubt were much interested; — as would have been
the bishop had he been there, or the political economist.
After this Ayala was taken up into her room, and left to
sit there by herself for a while till Lady Albury should send
her maid. “My dear,” said Lady Albury, “there is something on
the bed which I expect you to wear to-night. I shall be broken-hearted if it doesn’t fit you. The frock is a present from
Sir Harry; the scarf comes from me. Don’t say a word about
it. Sir Harry always likes to make presents to young ladies.”
Then she hurried out of the room while Ayala was still thanking her. Lady Albury had at first intended to say something
about the Colonel as they were sitting together over Ayala’s
fire, but she had made up her mind against this as soon as she
saw their manner towards each other on entering the house.
If Ayala had accepted him at a word as they were travelling together, then there would be need of no further interference in
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AYALA’S ANGEL
the matter. But if not, it would be better that she should hold
her peace for the present.
Ayala’s first instinct was to look at the finery which had
been provided for her. It was a light grey silk, almost pearl colour, as to which she thought she had never seen anything
so lovely before. She measured the waist with her eye, and
knew at once that it would fit her. She threw the gauzy scarf
over her shoulders and turned herself round before the large
mirror which stood near the fire-place. “Dear Lady Albury!”
she exclaimed; “dear Lady Albury!” It was impossible that she
should have understood that Lady Albury’s affection had been
shown to Jonathan Stubbs much rather than to her when
those presents were prepared.
She got rid of her travelling dress and her boots, and let
down her hair, and seated herself before the fire, that she
might think of it all in her solitude. Was she or was she not
glad, — glad in sober earnest, glad now the moment of her
mirth had passed by, the mirth which had made her return to
Stalham so easy for her, — was she or was she not glad that
this change had come upon the Colonel, this return to his old
ways? She had got her friend again, but she had lost her lover.
She did not want the lover. She was sure of that. She was still
sure that if a lover would come to her who would be in truth
acceptable, — such a lover as would enable her to give herself up to him altogether, and submit herself to him as her
lord and master, — he must be something different from Jonathan Stubbs. That had been the theory of her life for many
months past, a theory on which she had resolved to rely with
all her might from the moment in which this man had spo-
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
ken to her of his love. Would she give way and render up herself and all her dreams simply because the man was one to
be liked? She had declared to herself again and again that it
should not be so. There should come the Angel of Light or
there should come no lover for her. On that very morning
as she was packing up her boxes at Kingsbury Crescent she
had arranged the words in which, should he speak to her on
the subject in the railway train, she would make him understand that it could never be. Surely he would understand if
she told him so simply, with a little prayer that his suit might
not be repeated. His suit had not been repeated. Nothing apparently had been further from his intention. He had been
droll, pleasant, friendly, — just like his old dear self. For in
truth the pleasantness and the novelty of his friendship had
made him dear to her. He had gone back of his own accord to
the old ways, without any little prayer from her. Now was she
contented? As the question would thrust itself upon her in opposition to her own will, driving out the thoughts which she
would fain have welcomed, she gazed listlessly at the fire. If it
were so, then for what purpose, then for what reason, had Lady
Albury procured for her the pale grey pearl-coloured dress?
And why were all these grand people at Stalham so good to
her, — to her, a poor little girl, whose ordinary life was devoted to the mending of linen and to the furtherance of economy in the use of pounds of butter and legs of mutton? Why was
she taken out of her own sphere and petted in this new luxurious world? She had a knowledge belonging to her, — if not
quite what we may call common sense, — which told her that
there must be some cause. Of some intellectual capacity, some
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AYALA’S ANGEL
appreciation of things and words which were divine in their
beauty, she was half conscious. It could not be, she felt, that
without some such capacity she should have imaged to herself
that Angel of Light. But not for such capacity as that had she
been made welcome at Stalham. As for her prettiness, her beauty of face and form, she thought about them not at all, — almost not at all. In appearing in that pale-pearl silk, with that
gauzy scarf upon her shoulders, she would take pride. Not to
be shamed among other girls by the poorness of her apparel
was a pride to her. Perhaps to excel some others by the prettiness of her apparel might be a pride to her. But of feminine
beauty, as a great gift bestowed upon her, she thought not at
all. She would look in the mirror for the effect of the scarf, but
not for the effect of the neck and shoulders beneath it. Could
she have looked in any mirror for the effect of the dreams she
had thus dreamed, — ah! that would have been the mirror in
which she would have loved yet feared to look!
Why was Lady Albury so kind to her? Perhaps Lady Albury did not know that Colonel Stubbs had changed his mind.
She would know it very soon, and then, maybe, everything
would be changed. As she thought of this she longed to put
the pearl silk dress aside, and not to wear it as yet, — to put it
aside so that it might never be worn by her if circumstances
should so require. It was to be hoped that the man had changed
his mind, — and to be hoped that Lady Albury would know
that he had done so. Then she would soon see whether there
was a change. Could she not give a reason why she should not
wear the dress this night? As she sat gazing at the fire a tear
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
ran down her cheek. Was it for the dress she would not wear,
or for the lover whom she would not love?
The question as to the dress was settled for her very soon.
Lady Albury’s maid came into the room, — not a chit of a girl
without a thought of her own except as to her own grandness in being two steps higher than the kitchen-maid, — but
a well-grown, buxom, powerful woman, who had no idea of
letting such a young lady as Ayala do anything in the matter of
dress but what she told her. When Ayala suggested something as to the next evening in reference to the pale-pearl
silk the buxom powerful woman pooh-poohed her down in
a moment. What; — after Sir Harry had taken so much trouble
about having it made; having actually inquired about it with
his own mouth. “To-night, Miss; you must wear it to-night!
My lady would be quite angry!” “My lady not know what you
wear! My lady knows what all the ladies wear, — morning,
noon, and night.” That little plan of letting the dress lie by till
she should know how she should be received after Colonel
Stubbs’s change of mind had been declared, fell to the ground
altogether under the hands of the buxom powerful woman.
When she went into the drawing-room some of the guests
were assembled. Sir Harry and Lady Albury were there, and
so was Colonel Stubbs. As she walked in Sir Harry was standing well in front of the fire, in advance of the rug, so as to be
almost in the middle of the room. Captain Glomax was there
also, and the discussion about the foxes was going on. It had
occurred to Ayala that as the dress was a present from Sir Harry she must thank him. So she walked up to him and made
a little curtsey just before him. “Am I nice, Sir Harry?” she said.
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AYALA’S ANGEL
“Upon my word,” said Sir Harry, “that is the best spent tenpound-note I ever laid out in my life.” Then he took her by
the hand and gently turned her round, so as to look at her and
her dress.
“I don’t know whether I am nice, but you are,” she said,
curtseying again. Everybody felt that she had had quite a little
triumph as she subsided into a seat close by Lady Albury, who
called her. As she seated herself she caught the Colonel’s eye,
who was looking at her. She fancied that there was a tear in it.
Then he turned himself and looked away into the fire.
“You have won his heart for ever,” said Lady Albury.
“Whose heart?” asked Ayala, in her confusion.
“Sir Harry’s heart. As for the other, cela va sans dire. You
must go on wearing it every night for a week or Sir Harry will
want to know why you have left it off. If the woman had made
it on you it couldn’t have fitted better. Baker, — “ Baker was
the buxom female, — “said that she knew it was right. You
did that very prettily to Sir Harry. Now go up and ask Colonel
Stubbs what he thinks of it.”
“Indeed, I won’t,” said Ayala. Lady Albury, a few minutes afterwards, when she saw Ayala walking away towards the drawing-room leaning on the Colonel’s arm, acknowledged to herself that she did at last understand it. The Colonel had been
able to see it all, even without the dress, and she confessed in
her mind that the Colonel had eyes with which to see, and ears
with which to hear, and a judgment with which to appreciate.
“Don’t you think that girl very lovely?” she said to Lord Rufford, on whose arm she was leaning.
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
“Something almost more than lovely,” said Lord Rufford,
with unwonted enthusiasm.
It was acknowledged now by everybody. “Is it true about
Colonel Stubbs and Miss Dormer?” whispered Lady Rufford to
her hostess in the drawing-room.
“Upon my word, I never inquire into those things,” said
Lady Albury. “I suppose he does admire her. Everybody must
admire her.”
“Oh yes;” said Lady Rufford. “She is certainly very pretty. Who is she, Lady Albury?” Lady Rufford had been a Miss
Penge, and the Penges were supposed to be direct descendants
from Boadicea.
“She is Miss Ayala Dormer. Her father was an artist, and
her mother was a very handsome woman. When a girl is as
beautiful as Miss Dormer, and as clever, it doesn’t much signify who she is.” Then the direct descendant from Boadicea
withdrew, holding an opinion much at variance with that expressed by her hostess.
“Who is that young lady who sat next to you?” asked Captain Glomax of Colonel Stubbs, after the ladies had gone.
“She is a Miss Ayala Dormer.”
“Did I not see her out hunting with you once or twice early in the season?”
“You saw her out hunting, no doubt, and I was there. I did
not specially bring her. She was staying here, and rode one of
Albury’s horses.”
“Take her top and bottom, and all round,” said Captain
Glomax, “she is the prettiest little thing I’ve seen for many
a day. When she curtsyed to Sir Harry in the drawing-room
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I almost thought that I should like to be a marrying man myself.” Stubbs did not carry on the conversation, having felt displeased rather than otherwise by the admiration expressed.
“I didn’t quite understand before,” said Sir Harry to his
wife that night, “what it was that made Jonathan so furious
about that girl; but I think I see it now.”
“Fine feathers make fine birds,” said his wife, laughing.
“Feathers ever so fine,” said Sir Harry, “don’t make wellbred birds.”
“To tell the truth,” said Lady Albury, “I think we shall all
have to own that Jonathan has been right.”
This took place upstairs, but before they left the drawingroom Lady Albury whispered a few words to her young friend.
“We have had a terrible trouble about you, Ayala.”
“A trouble about me, Lady Albury? I should be so sorry.”
“It is not exactly your fault; — but we haven’t at all known
what to do with that unfortunate man.”
“What man?” asked Ayala, forgetful at the moment of all
men except Colonel Stubbs.
“You naughty girl! Don’t you know that my brother-in-law
is broken-hearted about you?”
“Captain Batsby!” whispered Ayala, in her faintest voice.
“Yes; Captain Batsby. A Captain has as much right to be
considered as a Colonel in such a matter as this.” Here Ayala
frowned, but said nothing. “Of course, I can’t help it, who may
break his heart, but poor Ben is always supposed to be at Stalham just at this time of the year, and now I have been obliged to
tell him one fib upon another to keep him away. When he
comes to know it all, what on earth will he say to me?”
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ANTHONY TROLLOPE
“I am sure it has not been my fault,” said Ayala.
“That’s what young ladies always say when gentlemen
break their hearts.”
When Ayala was again in her room, and had got rid of
the buxom female who came to assist her in taking off her
new finery, she was aware of having passed the evening triumphantly. She was conscious of admiration. She knew that Sir
Harry had been pleased by her appearance. She was sure that
Lady Albury was satisfied with her, and she had seen something in the Colonel’s glance that made her feel that he had
not been indifferent. But in their conversation at the dinner
table he had said nothing which any other man might not
have said, if any other man could have made himself as agreeable. Those hunting days were all again described with their
various incidents, with the great triumph over the brook, and
Twentyman’s wife and baby, and fat Lord Rufford, who was at
the moment sitting there opposite to them; and the ball in
London, with the lady who was thrown out of the window; and
the old gentleman and the old lady of to-day who had been so
peculiar in their remarks. There had been nothing else in their
conversation, and it surely was not possible that a man who intended to put himself forward as a lover should have talked in
such fashion as that! But then there were other things which
occurred to her. Why had there been that tear in his eye? And
that “cela va sans dire” which had come from Lady Albury in
her railing mood; — what had that meant? Lady Albury, when
she said that, could not have known that the Colonel had
changed his purpose.
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