4. EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE-BASED SELF-DEVELOPMENT TECHNOLOGY

As a result of studying this material, you will learn:

–how to use emotional competence technology for self-development;

–the use of active listening techniques is an indicator of an emotionally competent leader;

–how self-esteem relates to self-development.

Keywords: emotional competence, active listening, leader self-esteem.

4.1. Emotional competence of a leader

Leadership includes rational and irrational, emotional and logical components. These components are balanced. In the past, rational and logical components were considered to be the most important for high quality performance of organisations, its generating profits. Now they are not. The feelings of the management team increase a company’s revenue by 4–6 %. So the recognition of emotions and emotionality became a factor of management efficiency, an indicator of the competence of the head of the organisation. In an ever-changing world, successful leaders develop their competence throughout their lives.

Managerial competence manifests itself in the management process through six areas: building effective teams, effective planning and decision-making, motivating people, communicating a vision of the situation, purposefully dealing with change, and creating effective interpersonal relationships.

Emotional competence is related to all six areas. Each zone is transcended by the personality of the leader. At the same time, each zone is influenced by the personality traits of the leader. Emotional competence is based on emotional intelligence and consists of interpersonal and interindividual components. These components are consistently interrelated and interdependent. From interpersonal competence to interindividual competence.

This sequence sets the logic for building a technology of self-development based on emotional competence.

The intrapersonal components constitute a person’s self-concept and the ability to manage oneself and one’s life emotionally. These are emotional self-awareness, emotional self-organisation (emotional self-order). Interpersonal components constitute a person’s view of the world of external social contacts based on emotions. These are social skills as a personal quality, constructive management of interactions based on emotional intelligence.

The intrapersonal quality “Emotional self-awareness” — basic, the basis of all emotional competence — is manifested in the recognition of one’s own emotions through attention to them, understanding, and acceptance of the causes of emotions. Adequate emotional self-esteem and selfconfidence are also located at the first level of emotional competence. Emotional self-esteem is part of overall self-esteem. Acknowledging one’s own emotions opens the way to acknowledging the emotions of others, which means it is the key to motivation, to optimising interpersonal relationships.

The intrapersonal quality “Emotional self-organisation” — stage two of emotional selfdevelopment — manifests itself in the application of self-image in emotional terms to improve the quality of one’s life: self-control, self-regulation, self-motivation. Acknowledging one’s emotions opens up access to managing them. At this stage, there is a chance to treat them as a resource, to channel them in a constructive way, and to harness emotional energy in a way that is consistent with one’s intentions. This requires honesty with yourself and courage. Emotional resources become, for the manager, an internal point of reference for management in a broad sense. This is how character, will, and productivity are developed in the course of self-education. The example of the leader walking ahead provides the conditions for the development of the team.

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The interpersonal component of emotional competence “Social skills as a personal quality” — stage three of emotional self-development. Social skills define the characteristics of relationships with people: attention to the other person’s emotions, understanding, social sensitivity, empathy. People around them may not realise the emotional appeal of a leader. He or she will simply inspire trust, and make them feel at ease with him or her. This is an important condition for attuning to the same vibrational wave. Information is transmitted in such circumstances with less loss and distortion, objectives are clarified, and goals are translated from the language of abstraction to the formulation of concrete images of the desired future.

The interpersonal component of emotional competence “Constructive management of interactions on the basis of emotional intelligence” — stage four of emotional self-development, the highest stage. It manifests itself in motivation, encouragement, support in self-development, influence, cooperation, disagreement resolution, and teamwork. Purposeful management of interactions. Many authors who study the topic of emotional intelligence and emotional leadership emphasise that interaction management does not involve manipulation, but other, constructive ways. All components of emotional competence are actualised here. A leader is charming, persuasive, conflictand stress-resistant, and capable of inspiring, engaging, and awakening interest in a common cause.

A leader’s emotional competence develops as he or she progresses through the steps. Each step is a step forward and upward on the path of self-development. A certain order is provided here. First, an audit of the existing competences and their status should be carried out. This applies to the overall level of emotional competence as well as to each component individually. For this purpose, there are psychological self-diagnostic methods and tasks for introspection. The self-diagnostics is followed by an information block aimed at increasing emotional awareness for each stage of emotional self-development. Informing enriches the active emotional vocabulary, expands the range of leadership tools, and takes notions of emotion to a new qualitative level. A series of exercises and drills aimed at developing specific emotional competences is then carried out. A final self-report is provided to track the dynamics of self-development.

Emotional competence is one of the many models within which a self-development route is available. Of course, like any model, the emotional competence model is not a complete and sufficient reflection of reality. It is a simplified version of it. At the same time, the model is valid and consistent.

A leader, someone who is able to lead without having to reinforce their position with official status, is endowed with the talent to influence and manage others. The first and necessary condition for this is the ability to manage oneself, including one’s emotional resources. The management process has four interrelated functions: planning, organising, motivating and controlling. Self-management works in much the same way. And all components of management are included in the model of emotional competence in terms of emotional self-organisation and interpersonal emotional competence.

Planning involves identifying goals and developing ways to achieve the goals: a system of actions with an order, sequence and timing of execution, with optimal allocation of resources to achieve the goals. That is, the process of self-improvement is a purposeful process. The criterion for achieving the goal can be one’s own emotional state. The goal of “getting along with others” is first and foremost a work on oneself. Attempts to influence others, whose reactions are only a reflection of our own personal content, turn into cruel manipulation. Therefore, the emotional criterion is a state of satisfaction (joy, tranquility...), a sense of collegiality, cooperation in the process of communication. Only then it will be possible to observe a change in reactions from supervisors, colleagues, subordinates.

Organisation implies an appropriate holistic structure as a set of elements of the whole, their internal links and rules of functioning. In the context of self-development, the elements of the whole (leadership potential) are all resources. Resources as sources, opportunities, means require an awareness of themselves as such. After all, anything can be a resource, even phenomena that are stereotypically disapproved of by society. It is important to recognise them in time and consciously

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use them for your own purposes, to direct them in the right direction. Manage. This is where the ability to look at one and the same thing from different angles comes in handy. Aggression, for example, is an indicator of energy. So is stress: tension in the body indicates the mobilisation of power. Laziness, on the other hand, signals that energy needs to be stored, restored.

When constructing a self-development route, it is important for managers to focus on selfmotivation, that is, the ability to motivate themselves for results. Knowing your values and their hierarchical structure will help. Attention to one’s emotions helps with this, as one can identify the reasons for a positive attitude. It is a reward for the work done.

Control as an observation, checking, comparing with the existing standard (plan, template, course, set of rules...) allows to evaluate and, if necessary, to correct the activity, the process of achieving the goal. Control of one’s own emotional state is an intrapersonal emotional competence, but the quality of establishing and maintaining external social contacts depends on the level of its development. These are managerial communication skills, conflict management, team management, public speaking and the art of persuasion and similar.

Managing oneself and one’s resources is at the core of self-development, self-improvement based on emotional competence. The stated logic of emotional competence development — from intrapersonal competences to interpersonal competences — is justified. It is known that the human psyche operates with images (image / picture of the world, “image of the self”). The image of the model of emotional competence and self-development technology is presented in the form of a tower, where each group of competences is a separate storey (it should be reminded that a human being is a holistic being, and any division into components is conditional). Each storey is built on the basis of the previous one. Self-development algorithm is an ascending movement through levels. Consequently, one can reach the upper levels of interpersonal competences only if the first levels of intrapersonal competences are reliable. The experience of working with construction managers shows that often the ground floors are in a state of emergency: emotions are denied, blocked as resources are not recognised, and emotional violence is applied to the self. Can this be the case? Yes. But in this case, the image of the tower is this: the stability of the entire structure is supported by props, “crutches”. These crutches may be, for example, other people, psychoactive substances. How long will they hold the structure together?

It is very important to prevent displacement, reach and maintain balance. In addition, selfimprovement requires honesty with oneself. Then you can recognise gaps in your competences and identify them as points of growth.

There are a few remarks on the issue of leader emotional competence development.

First, there is an opinion that a leader is already an established hero with a developed emotional intelligence. Constructive emotion-based interaction management, the highest, fourth stage of emotional self-development, is recognised as a leadership talent. But the world is changing, which means that yesterday’s success may no longer be relevant today. One more thing. A lot of work is devoted to ineffective leadership, leadership failure, the dark side of leadership. A study of leadership failure as a factor of failure in companies has shown that it is ineffective leadership 50 % of the time. Ineffective leadership causes feelings of devastation, stress, and provokes layoffs. Moreover, in the context of leadership, its dysfunctional patterns were identified and described: avoidance of conflict, bullying of subordinates, micromanagement, manic behaviour, unavailability, intrigue and the Two-N trap (mistrust and malaise).

Therefore, the development of emotional competence is relevant for a leader.

Second, a leader is associated with being the best representative of his or her community. Why continue to learn and develop further? But this is exactly one of the main characteristics of a leader — constant self-improvement, striving to become better. Even when you are the best. Especially when you are the best.

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4.2. The active listening technique as a tool for an emotionally competent leader

The interpersonal component of emotional competence “Social skills as a personal quality” — stage three of emotional self-development — is represented by such emotional competences as attention to other person’s emotions, understanding, social sensitivity, empathy. The development of social skills is harmoniously included in the technology of self-development based on emotional competence.

What specific ways are there to improve social skills? Interpersonal emotional competence is related to social contact. This has been covered in this text. The ideal training is frequent systematic training in a natural setting that requires no special entourage, no laboratory facilities, no training of assistants, and no onerous funding. It may not be difficult at all. After all, human beings are social by nature, and through communication, the basic need for joint activity is satisfied. A person often stays in a social environment, communicates, and for a manager it is a habitual habitat. Under these natural conditions, emotional competence in terms of empathy is trained through active listening.

Listening is a type of communicative activity in the process of communication. Listening is related to the perception, understanding of, and reaction to the speech of the participants in the communication. Communication is a process in which feedback plays an important role. Feedback is expressed through a variety of appropriate reactions: verbal and non-verbal. This is where hearing and listening abilities are separated. Listening is divided into passive and active. In passive listening there is no feedback and there is a feeling of non-involvement in the communication process. Interlocutors may be in close proximity to each other, but in different worlds. The exchange of information is hindered or stopped, there is only the illusion of such an exchange. The signalling function of emotion fades — a variant of emotional incompetence.

The active listening method emerged as a communication technology because of analysing the behaviour of people with the ability to achieve the right results in a conversation. It is a process of listening, characterised by an increased activity of perception, subjective participation of the person in the situation of communication. Obviously, with this approach to social interaction, it is appropriate to talk about the goals, the possibilities of achieving them, and the management of the communication process.

Active listening includes: 1) perception of the oral speech message — at the sensory level;

2)extraction of signal sounds within words and their identification — at the perceptual level;

3)establishment of the meaning of the sentence and the message as a whole — at the cognitive level. Perception of meaning in active listening depends significantly on the individual-personal char-

acteristics of the listener, primarily on the flexibility of thinking and personality orientation. Initially it was only a psychotherapeutic technique. Active listening allows you to demonstrate your interest and involvement in the communication process, to encourage the other person to respond, to steer the conversation in the right direction and to facilitate a better understanding and correct interpretation of the information.

Active listening allows you to understand more precisely the emotions and feelings of the person you are talking to, as well as to guess his or her state of mind. This is why it is also called empathic listening.

Active listening is divided into types: non-reflective listening and reflective listening. Non-reflexive listening is expressed by supporting the conversation with short sound bites or phrases. Reflexive listening involves reflecting the content of the interlocutor’s story to his or her emotions and feelings.

Active listening is a tool for a better comprehension of emotions and feelings of a person you are talking to, as well as grasping their state of mind. That’s why it is also called empathic listening.

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Empathy is the ability to put oneself in the other person’s shoes, the ability to respond emotionally to the experiences of others. Empathy is acceptance of other person’s feelings as if they were ours.

Empathy promotes balance in interpersonal relationships. It makes a person’s behaviour socially dependent. Well-developed empathy is a key factor of success in the activities that require getting into the shoes of a communication partner.

Active listening techniques: pauses, echoing, clarifying, giving in, reporting perceptions, asking questions, developing thoughts, paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, summarising.

A pause in speech, or a break: temporary silence gives a chance to think, reflect, and realise what is happening. It is an integral part of a conversation that helps a person to finish his utterance, formulate his or her thoughts or feelings, avoid unnecessary information, and convert images into words.

An echo technique, or echoing means exact repetition of interlocutor’s individual sounds, words, and phrases. It focuses attention on particular details of a conversation, stimulates the development of ideas. One can find it difficult to avoid evaluating and interpreting utterances.

Clarification means transfer to elaboration, specification, and identification of details. It allows clarifying particular items of information.

Approval means expressing one’s consent by nodding one’s head, saying “yes”, and encouraging. It means support and demonstration of involvement. People use this technique intuitively. It is particularly relevant for indirect communication, for example, in the course of a telephone conversation. There is no visual contact; therefore, auditory support is necessary.

Communicating perception means communicating to the interlocutor that the information is being tracked, that it is making impression, that the listener is willing to understand and accept it: “I hear”, “I understand”, “I feel the same”.

Questions indicate interest and enable interlocutors to manoeuver in the process of communication. Closed questions imply a brief one-word response to speed up the conversation. They are appropriate when a consent is required as a confirmation of prior agreement, when assumptions or doubts need to be dealt with. Open questions imply a detailed answer. Clarifying questions are used when clarification is needed.

Development of thought means the implementation of the intention to pick up and advance the main idea, thought, reasoning, and utterances of the interlocutor.

Paraphrasing is formulating an original thought in other words. It is a technique that focuses on meaning rather than emotion. The interlocutor obtains an opportunity to understand what is said and make adjustments if necessary.

Reflection of feelings means expression of the interlocutor’s emotional position by observing what and how he or she is saying and what his or her body is expressing. It is only possible to reflect the feelings of the other person if these feelings are property understood. This means empathy, an indicator of interpersonal emotional competence. In contrast to paraphrasing, the focus here is on the emotional aspect of interaction. The very word “reflection” shows that the listener is a “mirror”. In this mirror, the interlocutor can see himself, his experiences, and become aware of their intensity. In humanistic psychology, this technique is called “conscious listening”.

Summarising means summing up the interim results of the interlocutor’s monologue and highlighting the main point.

The development of empathy and the practice of active listening begins with determining the level of empathy through psychological self-diagnostics.

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