Career skills. Учебное пособие

customer relations. Employers have to look at a bigger picture than each employee does. What may seem very important to you may not be that important to your employer, and vice-versa.

Before you react, try to think of the position the other person is in. You may see things differently. As a result of thinking about other people, your reaction will probably be a more effective one.

Look at Your Own Behavior. Make sure you are not the person at fault. Sometimes your behavior can hurt or offend others. Try to be aware of how you appear to someone else.

For example, Meg and Jane were in charge of publicity for the school dance because they always had clever ideas. Meg thought of several posters and announcements they could make. However, when Meg and Jane held their first planning meeting, Jane did all the talking. She never asked about Meg's ideas. Meg didn't like Jane's "take-charge" attitude.

When the next school dance came around, Meg did not want to serve on the publicity committee with Jane. Jane couldn't understand why. After all, the publicity they had done for the first dance was successful. Jane will not be able to understand Meg's feelings until she looks at her own behavior.

Speak Carefully. Think of the way others will feel when they hear what you have to say. Compare Sylvia's comments with Beth's. Which would you rather have said to you?

Sylvia: "Your writing is too messy. How did you ever get through school? I can't understand a word you've written. How do you expect me to do my own work right?"

Beth: "I'm having a hard time reading your writing. Maybe my eyes aren't as good as they used to be! Could you help me out by writing more clearly? Then I won't make any mistakes."

By "blaming" her own eyes, Beth tried to protect the other person's feelings. At the same time she was truthful about what needed to be done. The other person didn't

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have to guess about what was on her mind. She was clear about the effect the messy writing had.

Sometimes people aren't aware that what they're doing is causing a problem. And once they know there is a problem, they need a chance to straighten it out. By asking the other person for help, Beth gave that person a feeling of doing something useful instead of just correcting a bad habit.

Learn to Compromise. You cannot have your own way all of the time. When people don't agree, sometimes the best thing to do is to compromise. To compromise means that both people give up something in order to come to an agreement.

It takes more than one person to compromise. Both people must have the chance to state how they feel about the problem. Both must know how much they are willing to give in. Both must be willing to change. It is not a compromise when one person makes all of the changes.

Other Tips. Here are some additional ideas you can use to develop good relationships with others.

Let other people know you're interested in them. Listen when they talk. If you know someone loves cats, share a story about a cat. If you eat lunch with some co-workers, tell them you had a good time. If you know someone had a "big event" planned, like a party, ask how things went. They will appreciate your interest.

Smile. Smiling shows warmth. People like being around others who look happy to see them.

Make others feel important. Every one wants to feel important. Haven't you felt good when someone asked your opinion and really listened to what you said? Weren't you flattered when a person pointed out something good you did?

Show a sense of humor. People like being around those who can laugh at themselves. When everything seems to go wrong, that's often the best time to laugh. Of course, humor can be misused. When you make fun of others, you are misusing humor. People are sensitive about the way they look, talk, and act. When you make jokes, be sure they are jokes everyone will find funny.

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Try to avoid fights. People often say things during arguments that they later wish they hadn't said. When your feelings are hurt, it takes awhile to get over it. Of course there are times when you have to disagree. But you don't have to turn it into a fight. You can show respect for the other person if you say, "I hear what you're saying, but I can't agree with you."

Help others. If you finish your work early, maybe you can help someone

else. You'll be making a friend. It's hard to dislike someone who helps when you need it.

Avoid gossip. Sometimes people gossip because they want to hurt another person. Or passing "the news" along might make them feel important. But gossip can hurt people or cause trouble. Some people think they can get in good with others if they tell all they know about everyone else. These people may be popular for a while, but it probably won't last long. People will wonder what the gossiper is saying behind their own backs. Also, you may be in a position of trust at work. You may know information about your boss, customers, or co-workers. If you share that information, you will no longer be trusted.

The "Wait and See" Period

Some people want to be liked right away. They hurry to make friends so they won't be alone. Sometimes this is a mistake. It takes awhile to make good friends. You have probably been through testing periods before. You will go through them each time you begin a new job. You will be unsure of the new job and the new people you meet. The people you meet will also be unsure about you. Both of you must go through a "wait and see" period.

After a while you will all begin to feel comfortable with one another. It may be a week, or it may be several weeks. It's important to remember that people already working for the company have certain ways of getting along. It may take awhile for you to fit into the group.

Conversational Skills. Developing good conversational skills can help ease you through the wait and see period. You may have noticed that some people seem to

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be "naturals" when it comes to making conversation. They always seem to say the right thing at the right time. Others seem to have difficulty thinking of what to say. They may be uncomfortable when they first meet new people.

Are you good at making conversation? You can sharpen your skills very easily. Think of conversation as having the following three levels.

Small talk is about everyday things like the weather, a TV program, or what you did yesterday.

Idea talk is about your opinions or what interests you. It's what you think about something. For example, you may have an idea about how to get more people out to school games. Or you may have an idea about how to celebrate co-workers' birthdays.

Feeling talk is how you feel about something. You may say, "1 get angry when people throw cans out of car windows." Or, "When John makes fun of other people, I have to walk away. If I didn't, we'd have an argument."

During working hours there will be a lot of idea talk. You'll be asking questions, giving information, making requests, and solving problems.

At first you may feel a little uncomfortable talking to the same people socially, before and after work and at lunch. Depend on small talk at those times. Small talk is an important part of everyday conversation. It's an "icebreaker."

Talk about what's happening next weekend or what you saw on TV. Your hobbies or others' hobbies are also good topics. Later, as you get to know others, you will feel more comfortable sharing your personal ideas and feelings.

If you don't talk to people, they may think you don't care, that you do not like them, or that you are "stuck-up." However, you may be lucky to be around people who are friendly. They may start most of the conversations and may always include you. Other times it will be up to you to get the conversation going.

Looking and Listening. Looking and listening can help you in your new job. In most businesses there are ways certain things are done. People may all wear the same kinds of clothing. They may all go out to lunch everyday. By looking at what

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others do you can learn the company style? Here are some of the things you might want to observe:

the way people dress

the time everyone begins to work

when people stop working

what others do at break time

how often people talk to each other socially during work hours

what personal things people keep at their work stations, like pictures or

plants

whether people eat lunch together

if people do things together outside of work

What other things do you think you might want to observe?

In some ways you will want to be like the others. In other ways, you may not want to be like them. Let's look at one or two examples.

Suppose people at work dress very casually. The women wear mostly pants or skirts with blouses or T-shirts. The men wear jeans and T-shirts. If you got all dressed up and wore a jacket and tie or a fancy dress, you would stand out. You'd look different. Your co-workers might think you feel you are "too good" for them.

On the other hand, suppose people begin work 15 or 20 minutes later than starting time, take long breaks, and quit work early. What do you think you should do?

As a new employee, you know the boss will be watching you closely. Since you want to make a good impression, it may be best in this case to be a little different from the others. Be on time, but try not to draw too much attention to it. Your coworkers may feel you are trying to show them up. But as a new employee you can't afford to copy their habit.

To remain friendly with co-workers you might begin work in a less obvious way. For example, you might straighten papers on your desk, look through some work orders, or get your tools organized. You will be working, but others will probably not feel as uncomfortable.

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Generally, criticism is given when people want you to improve what you are doing. Anyone who is new to a job will have a lot to learn and must expect criticism.

Criticism is usually meant to be helpful, even though it may not sound that way when you hear it. You have no way of knowing how people will criticize you. You have to be prepared to accept both constructive and destructive criticism.

When You Criticize Others. If someday you become a supervisor, you may have to correct or criticize others. Or even if you don't become a supervisor, you may meet people who affect your work in a negative way. Either way, you will have to handle the task carefully. What would you do about the following?

Steve is a nice guy with a good sense of humor. He keeps everybody laughing and makes working fun. But he is always borrowing money for lunch or soft drinks. He seldom pays his debts. Today he asked you for $3.

Kate can get work done faster than anyone else. She is good, too, and never makes a mistake. But when she finishes early, she likes to come over and talk to you. So far you've managed to get your work done on time, but you've noticed your boss watching the two of you lately.

Everybody likes Arthur and knows he needs the job. He used to be on time, but for the past month he's been late. You have been covering for him and doing more than your share of the work. You're getting tired of it.

The best way to criticize someone else is to think about how you'd like to be treated in the same situation.

Do you like to be embarrassed?

Do you like to be told there is some thing about you that other people do not

like?

Do you like to have your feelings hurt?

Do you like to have the chance to save face?

Do you like to have everybody else know what you have done wrong?

If you enjoy competition, you will enjoy working for a company that encourages it. However, competition can be harmful. It is not good if

The quality of your work goes down.

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You find yourself disliking people just because they won and you didn't.

Losing makes you angry or upset.

Winning becomes so important you forget about everything else.

You feel nervous or as though you are under too much pressure. Competition can be either positive or negative in its effects. Be sure the job and

company you choose match your own feelings about competition.

Stress

Pressure on a job can come from competition, from trying to meet deadlines, or from a boss or co-workers who expect too much. Everyone needs to know how to cope with stress, which is the effect that pressure often has on people.

Get plenty of exercise. Exercise allows your body to work off the nervousness and other side effects of stress.

Get enough rest and the right kinds of food. Your body can't cope with trouble if you don't treat it right.

Take things a day at a time. You don't have to do everything all at once. Work toward your goals a little bit each day. Solve your problems one step at a time. There's an old saying that seems to fit here: "Don't bite off more than you can chew."

How can you tell if you're under stress? Here are some common signs.

You feel you can't reach goals set for you either by yourself or someone else.

You have trouble persuading others to do what you want. You get in a lot of arguments.

You feel someone else is forcing you to do something against your will, and you don't know what to do about it.

You aren't proud of the work you do or don't feel you do it very well.

You tire easily.

You don't like the work itself.

You don't get along with the people at work.

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Not all stress is bad. Like sports, stress can be a form of exercise. It makes you try harder to change things. It gives you a challenge.

But too much stress for too long a time can cause illnesses such as ulcers. Stress can cause people to forget the good things about themselves. If you find yourself under a lot of stress, try some of the following.

Talk about it with someone you trust. You don't have to try to work every thing out all by yourself. No one is that strong all of the time.

Don't depend on drugs or alcohol to help stress. People who have used these to help themselves through hard times will tell you that they only make matters worse. The sense of relief you might feel is only temporary. The stress will still be there when the effects of the drugs or alcohol wear off.

Do something each day just for pleasure, like playing the guitar, swimming, or reading a good book.

The best way to deal with stress is to learn about yourself. Know when you are nervous, grouchy, or cranky. Know your limits.

REVIEW

What Have You Read?

In this chapter you learned the importance of maintaining good relationships at work so that you and others can enjoy work and do your jobs better. You learned how to solve the relationship problems that occur on every job. You also learned many ways to get along with people. Showing interest in others, trying to understand their side, learning to compromise, and using your conversational skills can help you fit in and adjust to your work environment. Learning how to handle criticism, competition, and stress will help you to progress at work and lead a healthier life.

What Will You Do?

Read the chapter summary above. Now think about the things you can do to learn more about the important ideas in this chapter. What new skills should you develop? Below are some suggestions.

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Write

1.A one-page paper about how you have handled disagreements with others in a constructive way in the past.

2.A two-page report of a human relationship problem that occurred on an actual job. Interview a friend or family member who has had a co-worker problem to get the details for your report.

Speak

1.To employers about the human relations problems their employees have with each other on the job.

2.About competition. Give a three-minute talk to your class on the advantages and disadvantages of competition with co-worker.

Define

1.emotions

2.objectively

3.compromise

4.destructive criticism

5.constructive criticism

6.defensive

7.stress

What do you think?

Think about your feelings and attitude toward the key ideas in this chapter. Then answer the questions below.

1.How do you generally handle problems involving other people? Do you feel you are successful? Explain.

2.What have other people done to help you feel more comfortable in new situations? What have you done?

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CHAPTER 6

BASIC SKILLS AND ATTITUDES FOR SUCCESS

KEY TERMS

communicate

pronunciation

positive attitude

negative attitude

OBJECTIVES

In this chapter you will learn about

how to improve your communication skills

how to improve your math skills

what makes a good attitude

how to begin improving a bad attitude

Communication Skills

When you communicate, you get your message across to others. At work you communicate with many people your boss, co-workers, and customers. You need to make yourself understood. Every day you'll have to write messages, understand what you read, and listen and talk to people. You don't want to be embarrassed because you can't speak or write clearly. You'll want to be the best communicator you can be.

Speaking

Talking to people is an important part of everyone's work. Even a forest ranger or security guard has to report to someone that everything is okay. Information must be exchanged. Instructions must be given and received. How you speak may affect your work and that of others as well.

Perhaps you have heard someone who had a really good speaking voice. Did you pay attention? Did you want to know more about the person? Good speakers usually get attention. People take notice of them. What is the difference between

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