How Did Weddings Start?

Marriage, as a custom, goes back to the very earliest history of man. It has passed through three stages. The first was marriage by capture. Primitive man simply stole the woman he wanted for his wife.

Then came marriage by contract or purchase. A bride was bought by a man. Finally came the marriage based on mutual love. But even today we still have traces of the first two stages. “Giving the bride away” is a relic of the time when the bride was really sold. The “best man” at weddings today probably goes back to the strong-armed warrior who helped primitive man carry off his captured bride. And the honeymoon itself symbolises the period during which the bridegroom was forced to hide his captured bride until her kinsmen grew tired of searching for her!

Today we have “weddings” without realising that this very word goes back to one of the early stages of marriage. Among the Anglo-Saxons the “wed” was the money, horses, or cattle which the groom gave as security and as a pledge to prove his purchase of the bride from her father.

Of course, when it comes to wedding customs, most of them can be traced back to ancient meanings which have long been forgotten. For example, the “something blue” which brides wear is borrowed from ancient Israel. In those times brides were told to wear a ribbon of blue on the borders of their garments because blue was the colour of purity, love, and fidelity.

When we ask, Who giveth this woman to this man? we are going back to the times when a bride was actually purchased. It is believed that the custom of having bridesmaids goes back to Roman times when there had to be ten witnesses at the solemn marriage ceremony.

Why do we tie shoes on the back of newly weds’ cars? It is believed that this goes back to the custom of exchanging or giving away of shoes to indicate that authority had been exchanged. So the shoe suggests that now the husband rather than the father has authority over the bride.

Why Do We Throw Rice at the Bride and Groom?

This custom is not only found all over the world, but it goes back to very ancient times. The marriage ceremony like so many other important events in life, is full of symbolism. (This means that we perform certain acts as symbols of things we wish to express, instead of expressing them directly.)

The use of rice is one of those symbols. It has played a part in marriage ceremonies for centuries. In certain primitive tribes, for instance, the act of eating rice together was the way people got married. This was probably because eating together symbolized living together, and rice happened to be the local food.

Among other peoples, the bride and groom first ate rice together to be married, and then rice was sprinkled over them.

In some cases, rice was used at weddings not to bring the bride and groom together, but to protect them from evil spirits. It was believed that these spirits always appeared at a marriage, and by throwing rice after the married couple, these evil spirits were fed and kept from doing harm to the newly weds.

But for most ancient peoples, rice was a symbol of fruitfulness, and the custom of throwing rice at the bride and groom today goes back to that meaning. It means that we are saying, in symbolic, “May you have many children and an abundance of good things in your future together!”